


The Hating Game

by coffeeorder



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, AnderBros, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Seblaine friendship, Slow Burn, mention of Finn's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:08:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 48,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeorder/pseuds/coffeeorder
Summary: Blaine can count on one hand the amount of people he has hated in his life. But Kurt Hummel is definitely The Worst.Or: That co-workers AU where they hate each other (until they don't)
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Comments: 354
Kudos: 389
Collections: Glee





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the wonderful novel of the same name by Sally Thorne. This story follows the first third of the novel reasonably closely and then goes it's own way *Fleetwood Mac starts playing*

Blaine can count on one hand the amount of people he has hated in his 28 years of life. Kurt Hummel is the only one that he has to see on a daily basis which makes him The Worst. Capital T. Capital W. (Blaine is a huge fan of rampant capitalization).

The biggest problem with Kurt really, is the proximity. That and he's an asshole, obviously. But an asshole that works at a desk directly opposite Blaine's. If they didn't work less than 6 feet apart, or if there were other people in their office, Blaine is pretty sure they could just ignore each other.

This was very much not The Plan when he started working as receptionist at _Ties_ , the somewhat unknown menswear magazine, to pay his way through college. It was just meant to pay for his tuition. Allow him to realise The Dream.

What The Dream is or was, Blaine isn't really sure. But music was heavily involved. It still is. Which is why Blaine isn't sure why, ten years later he is still working for the same awful boss with nary a piano in sight. Not so much as a maraca.

Blaine had done well was the thing. He was very much a victim of his own success. He had been a competent receptionist but it was his charm and ability to defuse awkward situations that made him invaluable to the CEO. That and his willingness to do the jobs no one else wanted. Richard Head, creatively and accurately nicknamed Dickhead by nearly everyone, was a thorn in many a side. Blaine was the balm.

He isn't exactly proud of this skill. Richard's bigotry to every conceivable group of people has kept Blaine quiet about his sexuality for the whole time he has been working there. Not closeted exactly. Just careful. This care got him promoted all the way up to Assistant to the CEO. And with each promotion it got a little harder to step away. It was nice to be valued. To be seen. To be respected. Not by the Dickhead. But by everyone else.

But then just under a year ago, _Ties_ had been on the verge of collapse. Blaine likes classic menswear more than the average person but even he could see that Ties was a mediocre offering in a world that was slowly losing interest in the published medium altogether.

A merger saved the company. A merger with fellow magazine _Bows_. Which… was a choice. Probably the only other magazine desperate enough to consider a merger at that time. In its past it had been an Avant-Garde women's magazine. High fashion. Exciting. Out there. Really underperforming.

They rebranded to become _Bow Ties_. A name that was both obvious and terrible. The new direction of the magazine is ostensibly gender neutral fashion these days. Blaine supposes there must be an audience because they survive. Somehow. But who the hell sees _Bow Ties_ and thinks gender neutral fashion?

Then there is Kurt. A new problem. A problem that is immune to his charms no less. The two CEOs are each stubbornly sure that they were responsible for saving the other and can consequently agree on nothing. Including which assistant to share. So they kept both. Kurt and Blaine. Each day Isabelle and Richard get to disappear into their separate, adjoining offices and leave their assistants to work it out in the no man's land that is the top floor executive lobby.

“You’re staring at me,” Kurt says now, without even looking up from his computer screen.

“Yeah,” Blaine agrees, unfazed. “I was trying out this thing I saw on the internet where you can burn people alive with just the power of your mind.”

“Well, I’m still here so clearly the power of your mind is insufficient. I can’t say I’m surprised by this.”

Blaine doesn’t reply. He often find himself on the back foot when trying to exchange witty retorts with Kurt. Kurt is a natural. Blaine is not. He’s sure it’s just because he’s a better person.

He waits a while to see if Kurt will indulge him in the Staring Game, a game that amounts to the same thing as childhood staring contests. The only difference is that losing is contingent on looking away or breaking the silence rather than just blinking. It’s all very petty and incredibly immature. At least Blaine can acknowledge that. But Kurt doesn’t bite. He actually seems busy. How annoying.

Blaine does have his own work to do technically so he looks back to his computer screen only to find that it’s locked itself while he’s been looking at Kurt. This would be embarrassing but, as he knows he’s managed to irritate Kurt, it’s basically all worth it. He types _IHateKurt4eva_ into the password box and allows himself a private smile. At least Kurt is good at keeping him young.

* * *

Dickhead emails him at two asking for the latest sales forecast. Blaine spares a glance at Kurt who is concentrating hard, the barest hint of tongue poking through his lips as he types furiously. No doubt Isabelle has asked him for the same thing so she and Richard can both go armed into the Monday meeting with conflicting accounts to argue over.

"Excuse me, Kurt?" Blaine says sweetly, instigating the Normal Co-workers game. The game in which they pretend they can actually tolerate each other. Kurt makes him wait a full minute before responding. Blaine watches the seconds tick away on the clock behind Kurt's head.

"Yes, Cheddar. How can I help you?" Kurt never calls him Blaine. The Cheddar thing, Blaine has no idea about. Kurt's just been calling him that for nearly the whole time they've know each other.

"Are you working on the forecast for Isabelle?"

Kurt frowns. "No." And then after an obviously deliberate pause, "I finished _that_ two hours ago."

Blaine suppresses the sigh. Not for the first time, he wonders how much easier life would be if he had Kurt as an ally. They are both known around the place as finishers. People who grind out the difficult tasks with efficiency and very little complaint. Both their bosses delegate liberally, meaning they both have whole teams of people reporting directly to them. It would save them so much time if they collaborated. He is not going to be the one who holds out the olive branch though. Not after all this time. Not to Kurt 'The Worst' Hummel.

Instead, he sets about doing the forecast as quickly as he can. He is sure Kurt would have had it done in less than an hour, so it is a matter of pride that he gets it done in forty minutes. The competition doesn't stop just because the other person doesn't know it's a competition.

The phone rings as he is sending it over to Richard and he answers without checking the call ID. It's the internal ring though so he just answers with, "Hello?"

"Blaine?"

Blaine has to actively bite back the groan. It's Judith and, as she is calling him at nearly three on a Friday, that only means one thing.

"Judith, how lovely. How are you?" He probably overdoes the friendly tone a little. Kurt smirks at him from across the room.

"I'm not great Blaine to be honest."

"Oh no," Blaine coos sympathetically. Meanwhile, he stabs his ballpoint into his notepad with vengeance.

"I just have this awful headache; I'm going to have to go home early. Can you live without the weekly report until Monday? I won't be in until late so it won't be before lunchtime."

Blaine does sigh this time. If he doesn't get it until Monday lunchtime, he'll have to stay late that night to be ready for the 9am on Tuesday.

"As long as it's ASAP on Monday. I can make it work."

"Blaine, you're an angel. You're really the only one up in corporate I can stand dealing with."

The implication being that Kurt is a Nightmare. Blaine shoots the man in question a so there look only to find Kurt is still looking at him. Odd.

"You know it, Jude. See you soon alright?"

He has barely hung up the phone before Kurt speaks.

"I have to ask."

"Do you really? Do you _have_ to ask?"

Kurt ignores him. "Are you sleeping with her or something?"

Blaine does a very good pantomime of a flustered fish for a moment before spluttering, " _What_?"

"Judith. Every week it's the same old story. And every week you let her get away with it."

"It's called being a nice person, Kurt. You should try it sometime."

Kurt snorts. "It's called being a pushover. I would almost prefer it if you were sleeping with her. It would be less embarrassing."

"You seem very obsessed with my sex life all of a sudden. You jealous?"

He is almost sure he can see Kurt blush but when he answers he sounds as scathing as ever. “Sorry to disappoint, but I don't really see you as a sexual being. It's like the bright colours you wear scream toddler and the clothes themselves say grandpa. Neither of which are appealing and the whole of which give me a headache just looking at you."

“HR!” Blaine blurts. But he knows he has lost this round. Bringing up HR is akin to bringing up Hitler on the internet. It's the sign of a person that has no better argument. But he soldiers on. “Making personal comments about people's appearance is against the employee code.” He has no idea if that's true but it sounds good.

HR has so far been involved in their petty squabbles a grand total of five times. Each for inappropriate workplace behaviour, insults, general attitude and one prank of Blaine's that got deeply out of hand and he isn't proud of. He's pretty sure Katy, the HR head, knows them both by name at this point. She probably has whole files on just them.

Still, this is one to add to the ever-growing log he has about Kurt’s behaviour. Password protected of course and stored in an otherwise nondescript folder. It isn’t obsessive. He's sure Kurt has one too. He certainly seems to remember every exchange they have ever had.

“Trust you to have it memorized, Cheddar,” Kurt says in response, rolling his eyes before returning to his work.

Blaine grinds his teeth. His dentist will be furious. His dentist wants him to quit this job.

There is a point to all this pettiness. Sort of. To make the other laugh or cry. Even smile. Something like that. Blaine's never seen Kurt smile. Not even at someone else. The rules of the game are, admittedly, somewhat undefined. But Blaine will know when he's won. He also knows that Kurt is already in the lead.

Their first meeting had gone something like this. On day one in the brand-new Bow Ties office, Blaine had ridden up to the top floor filled with unfounded optimism for the new merger. Kurt had been there already, leaning against the window and drinking in the view. And then he had turned around.

He was _gorgeous_. Impeccably dressed with wide shoulders and a narrow waist. Pale, perfect skin. And those eyes.

Blaine was struck with that bolt out of the blue attraction that he'd only ever read about. Not just _I want you_ but also _I want to know you_. Like two souls recognising each other. Kurt's eyes had widened. He knows his did too. He was sure he was looking at Kurt like he was the answer to a question he had never thought to ask. And the answer was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Oh… wow. I mean…" Blaine had stuttered. His stomach was knots. "You must be Kurt. I'm Blaine. It is an absolute pleasure to meet you." And he had smiled. A full on, crinkle eyed beam. 

Kurt had looked at him. Really looked. A slow, heavy once over that left Blaine feeling exposed. Raw. Kurt had nodded. Maybe in acknowledgement that Blaine had spoken. Maybe for some other reason. He hadn't smiled. He hadn't even spoken. Just glanced away back at the view.

Blaine thinks he learnt right then why people always say that love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Hatred requires passion. Commitment. It makes your blood rush and your heart pump harder. The two emotions are really not so different.

Ultimately the outcome of the entire incident really boils down to this: Blaine had been stupid enough to give Kurt a smile. And he damn well wants one back.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon limps on towards five at a snail's pace. Isabelle leaves at four with air kisses for Kurt and a little wave at Blaine and a flurry of instructions that Kurt takes calmly in stride. Blaine feels that Isabelle always has the air of a slightly distracted substitute teacher that has no clue what she's doing. She's lucky she has Kurt to lean on.

Richard always makes them wait to the final minute though. Mostly because his desk chair is comfortable and, in the afternoons, the sunlight streams in and makes for perfect napping conditions.

It's 5.15 on the dot when he finally exits his office. "Blainers!!" He roars despite being less than a foot from the desk. Richard only has two volumes. Loud and louder. "Great work this week. Make sure you have yourself a good weekend. Who's that exotic little minx you always have all over you at events?"

"You mean Tina?" Blaine murmurs, mortified. "She's not…"

"Yeah, you still fucking her? Was thinking it might be good to get a nice bit of skirt out here if she's still looking to climb the ladder. Good for morale!" He slaps Blaine heartily on the shoulder.

Blaine doesn't even know where to begin with that sentence, there's too much wrong with it.

"I don't think you should call women 'skirt' first of all. And we're not… like that. We're friends."

Not for the first time he kind of just wants to come and say _I'm gay_. Just to see the look of shock on Richard's face. The betrayal. It would be hilarious but ultimately foolish. This job is all he has really. No point putting it under threat for a moment of vindication. It's not like he has to hide his entire life. Just to this awful man whose interest in Blaine only extends as far as the work he does.

"Yeah yeah, Blainey Boy I've had the same mandatory training you have. Calm yourself. You should set up a meeting then if it won't be awkward working with your 'friend'."

"I don't understand. There's no available positions out here," Blaine says gesturing between himself and Kurt, who is watching this exchange with interest.

"Not yet," Richard agrees darkly, shooting Kurt an openly hostile look. "Goodnight, Blaine."

Richard stumbles off toward the elevator and Blaine just watches him leave with something like frozen horror.

"Well," Kurt says evenly once he has safely gone. "If anyone needs HR intervention it's probably him."

If it was anyone else, Blaine would laugh. As it is, they share a look of unusual camaraderie before it's ruined, as usual, by Kurt.

"So 'Blainey Boy'," he says, logging off and starting to pack up his bag. "Hot plans for the weekend or just the usual crying over your broken hopes and dreams?"

Blaine is surprised about how personal that comment seems before remembering that Kurt knows nothing about him and even pot shots will hit every now and then. "Yep. What about you? Rounding up one hundred adorable Dalmatian puppies to skin alive in aid of the perfect coat?"

Kurt's lips actually twitch. "One hundred and one actually."

Blaine hides his own grin behind his screen as he shuts down too.

They jostle each other in an unfriendly way as they both head for the elevator and, once inside, Kurt hits the B for underground parking and Blaine hits the G.

"Not driving today?" Kurt asks, which could have been a friendly enquiry if he didn't look so bored, lounging long limbed and beautiful against the side of the elevator.

"Car's in the shop," Blaine murmurs. His car is always in the shop. Which would be fine. But this is LA. People drive.

The doors opens out onto the ground floor and they both take a moment to look at the view through the large glass fronted lobby. It's like a director has given the weather notes on the perfect February evening and the sky has taken it perfectly to heart.

It's already getting dark, and somehow it's one of the handful of days that it actually bothers to rain. As if on cue a gust of wind sends an artful arrangement of litter skittering across the vista.

Kurt has one of his hands in the door to stop it closing as he is having, what looks like, a very intense internal debate with himself. _I wish we were friends_ Blaine thinks suddenly, watching him.

"I can give you a ride" Kurt blurts eventually, pained.

"Ew, no thanks," Blaine says, ducks under Kurt's outstretched arm and runs for it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for: mentions of breathplay (if you squint a little)

Blaine has an Agenda. He'll admit it. It's mostly a Fuck With Kurt Agenda but more specifically the plan right now is Search Kurt's Desk While He's Out At Lunch. For Science.

Some of Kurt's comments have hit a little close to home recently. Blaine feels mostly safe in the knowledge that Kurt hasn't taken their dumb Hating Game far enough that he's followed Blaine home and staked out the place. He does, however, feel that Kurt is not above searching his desk. So he wants to level the playing field. 

He starts by examining his own desk. His computer is always locked when he's not there. He isn't about to just hand Kurt the nuclear codes. He does have a paper planner but it has all of Richards appointments and messages - nothing personal. The surface of the desk is a mess of post it notes full of reminders that are all work related. A small potted spider plant sits off to the side, along with two pictures - one of himself and Cooper, cheeks smushed together and both pointing dramatically at the camera, and the other of him surrounded by the Warblers, raising a trophy. On the other side is a phone, a pot of pens and his lucky guitar plectrum. Is that how Kurt has guessed he has lost dreams? It seems a leap.

He slides over to Kurt's side of the office and sinks into the deep leather chair to view things from Kurt's perspective. The computer is locked and, after a few attempts at the password, he gives up trying to crack it. Maybe Kurt doesn't think _BlaineIsTheWorst_ after all. He tries the drawers hopefully, but they're all locked and the key is not in any of the obvious hiding places.

Kurt's desk is much cleaner than his. Kurt also has a phone, pot of pens and a stack of post-it notes but that's it aside from one photo in a frame that's tucked to the back almost out of sight. Blaine is surprised. He would have doubted Kurt cares enough about anyone to immortalise them in a photo, nor sentimental enough to display it. The picture is a clearly younger Kurt with an older man wearing a baseball cap. There's a smaller photograph tucked into the corner of the frame of a teen aged boy wearing a football jersey.

That brings him to the last item on Kurt's desk which is the equivalent planner for Isabelle. It's a long shot and Blaine glances nervously over his shoulder to check the elevator before delving in. It's full of the expected meetings and appointments but in the margins there are some weird pencil short hand that he can't work out. He flips to the previous week. An X in the margins on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. Tally marks everywhere. Some slashed lines. _What the heck?_ Blaine is just lining up a shot on his phone when the elevator clanks into life behind him.

Mayday. Mayday. Abort mission.

He takes the picture quickly, simultaneously slamming the planner shut, shoving his phone into his back pocket and leaping away from the desk. He does his best to appear nonchalant as he throws himself back into his own chair, despite the fact he's sweating so much his hair is coming free from its gel.

The doors open and Kurt steps in, half distracted by his own phone and pulling off his jacket. Blaine takes the moment just to look at Kurt. He's wearing his favourite black Diesel jacket (flapping open as usual - it never gets _that_ cold in LA) and a navy shirt underneath. He looks soft like this. Handsome. Almost approachable. And damn, does he look good in navy. And then Blaine realises that Kurt's chair is still spinning slightly where he has leapt dramatically out of it and Kurt has noticed it too. Kurt looks over at him and their eyes lock. Blaine feels distinctly like a gazelle that has been spotted by a lion.

"Whatcha been up to, Cheddar?" Kurt asks softly, almost pleasantly. Blaine feels danger warnings going off in his head.

"Your phone rang. I was over by the window, looking out, you know?" He's rambling. "And as I was there I thought I may as well answer it. But I missed it. Sorry."

Kurt moves over to him and Blaine is struck, not for the first time by the elegant, almost sensuous way he moves. 

"That's funny." Kurt is standing over him now, looking more faintly amused than anything. "Because I redirect my phone straight to the downstairs desk when I'm not here."

Blaine makes a noise like a mouse being stepped on. "Yeah? Weird. That it rang I mean."

Kurt bends down so they're face to face, bracing himself on the arms of Blaine's chair. "Now do you want to tell me the real reason you were at my desk?"

They've never played the Staring Game this close before and Blaine can feel the resulting blush the moment it hits. He sucks in a breath, holds it painfully and drops his eyes to Kurt's chest instead. Much safer.

He has never really been sure about what Kurt's body looks like under the layers he's fond of wearing but he has Theories. Boy, does he have theories. From what he can tell, Kurt is lightly muscled under there. Strong and lean with nice broad shoulders. He's kind of unfairly attractive. It's hard to get on with hating someone when they have nice arms and hair and face and everything.

Eventually he has to breathe to avoid dying. Kurt smells a bit like hairspray, a little like coffee and a lot like something fresh and distinct to him. Like cedar or grass or, more likely, just his washing powder.

His eyes move up, lingering on Kurt's slightly exposed collarbone, and up to his mouth. Even as he watches, Kurt licks his lips. It has been over a minute and neither of them have moved or spoken. It should probably be weird. It definitely is weird. Blaine should put a stop to this. He will. Soon.

He finally meets Kurt's eyes and Kurt is looking at him intently, his eyes dark and flitting down to Blaine's mouth and back again and Blaine suddenly isn't sure what game they're playing anymore. He can't even remember why they're doing this. Kurt inches forward ever so slightly and then the _ding_ of the elevator sends them springing away from each so fast that Blaine nearly falls off his chair.

Kurt jumps away like a startled cat, practically arching his back and hissing. Blaine can't read his expression. He's not even sure what his own would be saying right now.

"Hello, Killer."

Blaine actually has to close his eyes for a moment to centre himself before he responds. "Sebastian."

Sebastian glances between the pair of them, a slight smirk on his face. "Am I interrupting something?" He asks delightedly.

"Just the usual. Kurt being awful. What's up?" He sees Kurt flinch out of the corner his eye and feels bad. That had probably been unfair. But his nerves are jangled from a combination of whatever the fuck that just was along with the abrupt interruption.

"Got a meeting with the big Dick" Sebastian says arching an eyebrow. "Sure you're alright, Blaine? You're normally more on top of it than this."

"Yeah just didn't realise the time" Blaine says. He takes a breath before pressing down the intercom button on his phone.

"Boss? Got Sebastian Smythe here to see you."

"Send him in," comes the bellowed response, loud enough to be heard from within the office as well as through the speaker.

Blaine sighs with relief as Sebastian swans into the office. He just needs a second to breathe. To think.

He peeks over at Kurt to see him flipping idly through his planner, looking more lost than Blaine has ever seen him. He wants to say something but isn't sure what and the moment stretches out too far to be recovered. He resigns himself to a weird afternoon

* * *

Sebastian emerges twenty minutes later looking even more smug that usual. He comes and leans himself against the edge of Blaine's desk so his butt is inches from the keyboard, demanding attention.

"So, Gorgeous, I've just handed my notice in. Can you guess what that means?"

Blaine is about to get annoyed by the endearment and invasion of space but gets caught up on the other thing. "You handed your notice in to Richard? Don't you have a line manager for that?"

Sebastian shrugs. "Yeah but he's friends with my dad and technically got me my job here. Thought it was only polite to tell him directly. But that's not the point."

"No?"

"Now we are no longer going to be under the watchful eye of homophobe number one, we are free to do whatever we want. Preferably naked and together."

"Is that right?" Blaine says with an eye roll he feels Kurt would be proud of. "There is a flaw in your plan though. Istill have to work here."

"Yeah but it's much easier to keep a dirty little secret when it's not working in the same building as you" Sebastian purrs. "And I promise you I can be very dirty."

"I'm sure you can". Blaine has found humouring Sebastian is the path of least resistance over the years they have known each other. "Be that as it may. You're forgetting I'm not..." _Interested_ is what Blaine is trying to say but Sebastian interrupts.

"I know you think that now. But how do you really know until you try something? Maybe I'm just the change you need."

"But not the change I _want_ right now. Goodbye, Sebastian."

Sebastian grins. "I love it when you play hard to get. Alright, I'm going, but I know you have my number. Call me when you get fed up of trading insults with gay face over there."

Blaine scowls at Sebastian's retreating form until it's safely enclosed in the elevator again. He thinks Kurt has a _nice_ face. Not that he will say that out loud with Kurt right there. He's not an idiot.

"Well" Kurt says. "I always knew Sebastian was an asshole but I didn't realize he was also a predatory asshole."

Blaine has no clue what that's supposed to mean but is also not particularly moved to defend Sebastian so he just shrugs.

"You should avoid flirting with him if you don't mean it. I hear he can get quite nasty when he's crossed."

"I'm not flirting with him."

"Yeah, right." Kurt lowers his voice into what Blaine guesses is supposed to be an impression of him. "Oh Sebastian, I'm sure you can be soooo dirty."

Blaine snorts. "That is _not_ what I said. And people say the same thing about us you know?"

"That we're dirty?"

"That what we do is flirting."

"Oh please." It's Kurt's turn to snort. "If I was flirting with you, you would know about it."

"Because of the trauma?"

" _Because_ you wouldn't be able to stop thinking about me while lying in bed."

"Do you regularly think about me lying in bed?" Blaine asks innocently.

"Now who's flirting?" Kurt looks amused again. Still no actual smile though, worse luck. Blaine can feel this conversation slipping away from him and, still shaken from earlier, seeks to put them back on firm ground.

"I'm not flirting with anyone. Not Sebastian and certainly not you. I'm just _nice,_ Kurt _._ I have good old-fashioned manners. I know you've had kindness surgically removed from your soul but surely you can still recognise it?"

"It's funny that what you call nice, I call being a pushover."

"I'm not a pushover." He definitely isn't.

"Yeah. Tell that to Judith. Who repeatedly walks all over you week after week with that damn report and you let her. And don't get me started on Dickhead. You're a total people pleaser."

Blaine scowls. "I just help her out when she needs a break, that's all." He can't really deny the Richard aspect. But that is actually his job.

"Which appears to be all the time and yet she somehow always manages to work within the deadlines _I_ give her."

"You know what Kurt? I think you're just jealous that everyone in this building would rather deal with me than you. Because I, unlike you, am capable of having a conversation with someone without immediately pissing them off."

"Really? Because you piss _me_ off all the time."

"I'm lovely," Blaine insists. "Ask anyone."

"Well if you were asking _me..._ I suppose there are _some_ lovely things about you, Cheddar." 

"Human. Resources." he says, enunciating each word.

Kurt sits back and the corner of his mouth lifts briefly. Blaine imagines running across the room and using his fingers to pull Kurt's cheeks into a distorted joker like grin. He is positive he will go to his deathbed claiming that his one great regret in life was not getting this man to smile.

"You know what?" Blaine says abruptly. "I don't actually care what you think."

"Good for you. You should try that more often. Not giving a shit is so liberating."

Blaine is barely listening. "I'm an asset to this company. I'm the one that set up the Tuesday lunchtime yoga classes and it's me who tracks all the birthdays and circulates the cards."

"Truly an example to us all," Kurt says dryly.

"And I organise all the charity collections and bring cake to meetings and…"

"Why are you working so hard to sway me?" Kurt interjects. "I thought you didn't care what I think?"

"I don't," Blaine snaps. "I just get so sick of being like this with you. You're always dragging me down to your level."

"And what level do you imagine I am dragging you to? Horizontal?"

Blaine kind of wants to scream in frustration. He contents himself with imagining, just for a moment, walking over to Kurt, climbing into his lap, sliding his hands over Kurt's lovely collarbone, up to his neck and just _pressing_. 

"What was that look for?" Kurt asks. "You looked positively filthy just then."

"Just picturing choking you."

"So _that's_ you kink." Kurt looks slightly impressed.

"Only with you, Kurt."

Kurt just blinks before his face shifts into an expression Blaine doesn't recognize.

Blaine celebrates his victory by entering another row into his HR log.

* * *

It's a few hours later, prompted by his phone vibrating in the unusual spot of his back pocket, that reminds Blaine just what the whole furore earlier was in aid of.

Glancing quickly over at Kurt to check he is safely absorbed, Blaine pulls up the picture on his phone. It's not a great image. His hand had pulled away in surprise when Kurt had appeared and the picture is slightly blurred as a result. But he can still see the symbols clearly enough.

He chews on it for the afternoon and it's nearly five when it occurs to him. He actually slaps his hand to his forehead in realization.

"Thanks," Kurt says without looking up. "I've always dreamed of doing that."

Blaine doesn't rise to it. He's too busy thinking.

The only reason Kurt would use symbols in his planner is because he's trying to hide something. The symbols must be a code. Call Blaine self centred, but he suspects the code might be about him. Who else would Kurt try to hide anything from other that his interfering colleague who has a Fuck With Kurt Agenda? All Blaine has to do now is try and work out what triggers them.

Let the Spying Game begin.


	3. Chapter 3

The Spying Game is not going well. Kurt is either a mind reader or, more likely, just not an idiot, and has noticed Blaine's new found interest in his every move. Either way he has become more withdrawn than normal, barely rising at all to Blaine's prodding. It's oddly lonely. It's funny how slowly the days go by without the energy of active hatred fuelling his every move.

Kurt has also taken to locking the planner away whenever he's not at his desk, so Blaine can't even get another look. He's reliant on seeing Kurt actually use it, which is hard when he spends the whole time glaring at his screen and ignoring Blaine's existence.

He needs to regroup. He needs A Plan. (He needs to sort his fucking life out honestly, but baby steps and all that.) If he knows Kurt, which he sort of does by now, he knows he can't resist getting pulled into Blaine's ridiculous games. So he starts a new one. The I've Got A Theory Game.

"I've Got A Theory," he says a week after the whole Planner Incident. "About you."

Kurt takes the bait. "Is your theory that I'm incredible? Talented? Just better than most other people? Because if so, you are correct. It had to happen sometime."

"Kurt please, none of those things are even remotely true."

"Yes, I suppose you being correct sometime does seem like an impossibility," Kurt says sadly. "Keep striving, Cheddar."

Blaine wants to laugh. But he resolutely doesn't let it show. Kurt is kind of funny. It's really irritating. "Are you a robot?"

"Is that your theory? Because that's terrible."

"It's not my theory. It would just make sense. I input a generic sentence and a witty retort just pops out. Like clockwork."

"You think I'm witty?" Kurt asks coyly.

"I think you're annoying. Is that what fuels you, Kurt? Irritation?"

"Just fuelled by my hatred for you, Anderson."

Well, Kurt is talking to him at least. He just doesn't seem particularly wound up. Not that Blaine is sure what the symbols in the planner stand for, he just assumes that if it's to do with him, they are as a result of annoyance.

"Do you want to hear my theory or not?" he asks.

"I would love to," Kurt says with an air of exaggerated patience. He rests his chin on his hand.

"I've Got A Theory that you could never surprise me. You're, dare I say it… Predictable."

"Predictable?" Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Not usually a word I hear associated with myself."

"No, I'm sure the words you hear about you are usually much shorter and sharper than that."

"Rude. But go on. How am I predictable?"

"Your schedule is identical every day. I could set my clock by you. The way you react to things, your mood, your ‘gives no shits’ attitude. I could go on."

"You know, I think you would find anyone predictable if you watched them as much as you apparently watch me. I never knew you cared, Anderson." Kurt flutters his eyelashes. It absolutely does nothing to Blaine's stomach.

"See, I knew you were going to say that," Blaine lies. Although on reflection, he could have probably guessed the gist of it. "Face it, Kurt. You’re boring. One note. I think if you did anything to surprise me, I would literally die of shock."

"Is that a challenge?"

“Is it what?”

“Because you know if the result is you _literally_ dying of shock, I feel that’s a challenge I have to take.” Kurt shrugs like _my hands are tied_.

"You can't do it. You're so inflexible."

"And you're so flexible, right?" Kurt asks, his voice heavy with innuendo and amusement.

Blaine walked into that one. He's man enough to admit it. "Yep," he says stubbornly. Kurt is probably going to send him to an early grave. Maybe it's time to heed the advice of his dentist, brother and probably random people on the street and just get a new job.

"I bet I could do something to surprise you." Kurt's voice is a promise. Low and filthy.

"Yeah?" Blaine asks. It's meant to be scathing but it comes out as a breath.

"Yeah. What do I win?"

“If what?”

“If I win the bet? Of surprising you.” Kurt’s eyes are dark and Blaine lets out a careful breath. 

“My death. Obviously.”

They stare at each other for a long moment before it's Kurt who breaks the silence.

"I, on the other hand, find _you_ very surprising, Mr Warbler."

Blaine blinks."What do you know?" he demands immediately. He sorts through the possibilities in his head. There is the picture of the Warblers on his desk but he doesn't know how Kurt would have gotten their name from that.

"Did you know that the first hit when you Google your name is a video named The Gap Attack?"

"Oh fuck, no." The dread hits Blaine like a weight. The whole Gap thing is a humiliation over a decade old by this point. But it was the clusterfuck that essentially put him off romantic gestures for life, not to mention got a man fired in the process. That is not something he wants Kurt anywhere near. "Please don't, Kurt."

"But it's so good," Kurt says. The familiar acapella strains of When I Get You Alone start to come out of his phone speakers. "Completely inappropriate. But good."

If Blaine hadn't been melting into a puddle of embarrassment at that moment, he might have realised that Kurt sounds sincere. As it is, he just assumes Kurt is trying to piss him off. And it's working.

"Kurt..."

"Like, was this completely spontaneous because the dancing is amazing? Oh! Should I send this to everyone and ask them to guess who the baby faced Warbler is?" Kurt teases.

"Stop it!" Blaine shouts, unexpectedly loud in the usually quiet office. He doesn't lose his temper often but Kurt has always managed to push his buttons and him sitting their and gloating over something that makes Blaine feel so miserable is the final straw. Honestly, time has taken much of the humiliation from the situation. It's the homesickness that hits, hot and sudden, that really does it.

Those Warblers has adored him. Maybe a little too much at times. Enough to go along with that particularly ridiculous scheme. But they had been his friends and loved him unconditionally. When Blaine compares that constant warmth and belief to the lonely reality that is the _Bow Ties_ office, it's almost unbearably sad. To his horror he feels his eyes fill with tears and he stares quickly up at the ceiling.

"Cheddar?" Kurt actually sounds worried. He's stopped the music. "I didn't know. What can I do?"

"You can try not being such an asshole," Blaine snaps.

"It seems I can't help being an asshole. I'm so predictable, right?"

It kind of seems like Kurt is trying to cheer him up which is crazy. Surely this is what Kurt has been aiming for this entire time. He should be gloating over his hard earned victory.

"Blaine?" Kurt tries again when he gets no answer. "I'm really-"

The repetitive beeping from both their computers puts a stop to the conversation and simultaneously tells them they have an all staff meeting in ten minutes. Blaine takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. It was probably only a matter of time before something set him off considering how horrible he feels all the time. He really just wasn't expecting to be ambushed by his childhood friends like that.

He moves towards Richard's door. Kurt is in step with him, going to Isabelle's. They knock in sync. He can feel Kurt's eyes on him so he glares back with as much ferocity as he can muster. Which probably isn't a lot with his red rimmed, wet eyes. But still. Appearances matter.

"Blainers!" Richard cries when he walks into the office. He's a short, squat man with very little neck and the ruddy expression of a constant drinker. Blaine idly wonders if that's what makes him so vile or if it's just his natural personality. He peers at Blaine's face. "What's wrong with you?"

"Allergies," Blaine says swiftly.

"Good. Thought your were going soft on me for a second. What do you want then?"

"We've got an all staff in ten, sir. Down in the floor five breakout area."

"Ah yes that's right. Agenda?"

Blaine passes it over. "Mostly discussing this month's issue. Also it's Sola's 50th birthday. I got her a cake."

"Fine fine," Richard says, uninterested. "There's going to be announcement at the end of this meeting and it will affect you. I want you to come in here immediately afterwards to discuss it, alright?"

Blaine has a thrill of fear at this news. "An announcement?"

"An opportunity," Richard winks.

Somehow this worries Blaine even more.

* * *

Blaine was an adult during the whole 2010s which means he has, of course, heard of, and has a working knowledge of, _Game of Thrones._ Admittedly, he's not actually watched it because he can't handle gore but he suspects that the _Bows/Ties_ divide is just as bloody and political as any feud in _Game of Thrones_.

The two magazines are like two houses, forced to work together for mutual gain but desperate to be first to stab the other in the back. They are distinct by appearance alone. The _Bows_ cohort are all bright colours, florals, patterns and insane accessories. Ex _Ties,_ on the other hand, look like bankers, complete with superiority complex.

Blaine can appreciate the drama of it all but the reality of it is a workforce that are at constant odds. Which is at the very best exhausting and at the very worst, toxic and miserable. So he makes a point to be a constant source of cheerful neutrality.

He makes small talk, checking on Geraldine's grand kids, Bryan's new kitchen and Kimiko's vegetable patch. Sola is a beautiful, tall, dark skinned woman who doesn't look a day over 35 but is nevertheless delighted with her massive 50 cake. Blaine is pleased he made the effort.

Blaine confidently circuits the room. Everyone knows him in passing. Everyone has a smile for him. But there's still that level of distance that he can't transcend. It has to do with being so close to Richard, he suspects. No one wants to be friends with someone that could theoretically report on their every move to the boss.

Kurt suffers from the same problem but just doesn't seem to care. He makes no effort to indulge in office chatter, just stands off to the side alone, looking particularly pensive. It’s because Blaine is watching him, that he notices when Tina peels off from the main group and hands Kurt some cake. He nods his thanks and turns towards her, putting his back to the room.

Blaine feels slightly betrayed - after all Tina is his best friend in this building ever since Sam got lost in the shuffle - and she should know that talking to his arch enemy is not being a good friend. He's also dying to know what she's saying. The cake had been a good move, Kurt has a notorious sweet tooth.

He’s trying to crane to see Tina's face over Kurt's shoulder when he is downright dumbstruck by what must be the sound of Kurt's laugh. He’s a full body laugher. Blaine didn’t expect that. But he can see from here that Kurt has literally thrown his head back in delight. Blaine very much wants to run over there and spin him around and catch him in the act.

Unfortunately, that would come across as slightly crazy in front of all their colleagues, not to mention involve running a whole gauntlet of furniture obstacles. It's nice to know Kurt's actually capable of laughter though, he was starting to wonder. It’s also a really nice sound. Which is annoying. Could Kurt not just have one physical flaw? Like a donkey laugh? Blaine feels he really isn’t asking for much. 

Blaine is prevented from further spying when Sebastian sidles up to him.

"Sebastian" Blaine says patiently. "What a pleasure to see you."

"I assure you the pleasure's all mine. You are looking especially delicious today, Blaine. I'm surprised your boyfriend's left you alone."

"My boyfriend?"

Sebastian smirks. "Hummel."

Blaine huffs. "We're not boyfriends. I don't even _like_ him."

"Then I can't see any reason why you won't go out for a drink with me."

Sebastian is talking quietly at least but Blaine still feels that fluttering of panic that someone, Richard, might overhear. Might find out. "Leave it alone Sebastian." Blaine is flattered by the flirting. He won't lie. He thrives off positive attention from people. It's just that Sebastian is so obnoxious about it. 

"You're going to miss me," Sebastian teases.

"I'll miss the daily ego boost. Little else."

"You wound me, Blaine." Sebastian clutches his chest.

"Where are you going anyway? Do I need to warn all the cute guys at the next place to stay away from you?"

Sebastian sighs. "Finally gave in to my dad. Going to work for the family firm and actually put my law degree to good use. Don't worry, there is a tragic dearth of good looking men there."

"Tragic," Blaine agrees, dead pan.

Sebastian just laughs and after a moment Blaine joins in. He's so used to carefully guarding his emotions with Kurt that it's nice to just laugh with someone, care free.

As if he feels it, he turns to see Kurt glaring at him from across the room and stops laughing immediately. He resists the urge to stick up his middle finger and sends Kurt a mental insult instead, which he apparently receives because he turns away again, scowl firmly in place.

"If you get bored of all this, there’s always a place for you as my secretary, Killer," Sebastian grins.

"What a wonderful offer," Blaine says drily. "But I'm happy where I am thanks." It's only mostly a lie.

"Attention everyone," Richard shouts and the hub bub slowly dies down. "Thanks everyone for a productive meeting. Sounds like the next issue is is safe hands. To finish us off I have an announcement to make…'

" _We_ have an announcement to make," Isabelle interjects. "We're having an executive restructure-"

"And creating a third position in the executive team," Richard continues. "Chief operating officer."

"It will be under myself and Richard," Isabelle says, speaking louder still. "And will be focused on the operational running of the company so we can focus on strategy."

Blaine feels Sebastian nudge him with his shoulder and someone else behind him pats him on the back. Richard is staring at him like he's trying to transmit a psychic message to space. Blaine doesn't need the encouragement. He already knows he wants this job.

"Details will be on the recruitment portal and job page. Open to external and internal applicants," Richard finishes. Blaine can see Isabelle and Kurt are having a similar silent exchange. 

"Dismissed!" Richard shouts and grabs Blaine by the shoulder, propelling him along as heads towards the elevator. Blaine peers over his shoulder and sees Isabelle link arms with Kurt, their heads close together.

Once in his office, Richard doesn't beat about the bush.

"You're going for it right?"

"What's the reporting line?" Blaine asks.

"You'll be in charge of Hummel if that's what you mean." Blaine doesn't get a chance to savour this thought because Richard continues. "Of course your first job will be to fire him."

"Fire him?"

"You can't have that little prick swanning around, undermining your every move, acting like he owns the place."

"Kurt will be going for this too," Blaine says, his throat dry. He's not sure he can fire anyone but if the positions were in the reverse he could sure as hell imagine Kurt firing _him._ It's rumoured that Kurt was personally responsible for removing a third of the _Bows_ workforce before the merger.

"Yeah, it's a total joke. If it was up to me I would just promote you now but Isabelle has insisted we let Hummel try out as well." He rolls his eyes like he can’t quite believe what the world is coming too. _Imagine_ _a_ gay _man in charge._ Blaine smiles grimly.

"Who's doing the interview then? Surely Isabelle will sabotage me if she wants Kurt?'

"We're going to get an independent panel," Richard says. He acts as though the whole thing is beneath him. "They're the reason we have to have external applicants. It will be tough, Blaine. You've got to do a presentation on what direction you see the company going in. And the interview questions of course. Make sure you prepare properly. If you need help, let me know. We must win. We can't let that ridiculous woman and her favourite fa-"

"Yeah of course," Blaine interrupts, backing away. Dickhead is out in full force and Kurt is the target. Which is hardly surprising. He really can't stand the man in front of him, is not sure how he got to be his protégé at all. He certainly doesn't _want_ to be. He hears Kurt's voice saying _you're a total people pleaser_ and for the first time thinks he might be on to something.

"I've got to get back to work," Blaine says, and throws himself out the office. He feels like he needs to wash his hands. And his whole body.

He's barely sat down at his desk again when he gets a message pop up from Tina. The office has various messaging options, ostensibly to allow people to collaborate with colleagues that are several floors away. But everyone just uses it for office chatter.

****Tina:**** So I may have accidentally told Kurt you are gay. Please don’t be mad.

Blaine has to actually resist the urge to slam his face into the keyboard.

****Blaine:**** How does one _accidentally_ out someone to their worst enemy?

****Tina:**** Well… I always assumed you were lying about not sleeping with him so I decided to go straight to the source.

****Blaine:**** The source that doesn’t exist. Because we are in fact not sleeping together.

****Tina**** : Yeah. I mean I know that now. I’m really sorry. I really didn’t mean to.

****Tina:**** I was trying to be sly and then well… he kind of worked it out. He’s wily Blaine, I think he missed his true calling as a detective.

Blaine doubts this somehow.

****Blaine:**** Wait, is that why you were talking to him at the meeting earlier?

****Tina:**** Yeah. I softened him up with cake. You’re right, he really likes desserts, I don’t know how he stays so trim.

****Blaine:**** Can we please focus? On you f**king my life up?

****Tina:**** I didn’t f**k your life up. If anything, you might be in there. He looked pleased when he realised.

****Blaine:**** Of course he did. This is blackmail material he can hold over me for LIFE!!!

****Tina:**** Oh right. Yeah… Well I did make him promise not to tell anyone else. Sorry.

Blaine clicks the cross in the corner of the messaging window with all the anger he can muster. Which isn’t all that much when just clicking a mouse button but still. He's pissed. Tina is usually well meaning but also, frequently, The Worst. If it wasn’t for Kurt she would be The Absolute Worst _._ Tina is just lucky that Blaine likes her most of the time. Otherwise he would really hate her right now. What a horrible day this is turning into. He's already been in tears once, he needs to avoid a second occurrence. 

He peeks over at Kurt who is only just back from talking to Isabelle and tries to decide whether Kurt knowing this about him is just a problem or a capital “P” Problem. Yes, Kurt lives to destroy him. Probably. He assumes. But also nothing Kurt’s ever done has ever felt truly, deeply mean spirited. Even the Gap video was clearly meant more in teasing fun. Even Blaine was surprised by his own reaction to it so there’s no way Kurt could have known it was a particular sore point.

And Kurt is gay too. It’s not something he’s ever really been able to hide. Nor, Blaine suspects, has he ever wanted to. If Blaine had to grudgingly compliment Kurt about something, it would be his fierce assurance in who is as a person. Kurt is brave. Kurt is _not_ a man that would use Blaine’s own sexuality as a weapon against him. He doesn't _think_ so anyway. 

Maybe this is fine after all.

Kurt catches him looking and winks at him. “Checking out the competition, Cheddar? That job is mine.”

“Funny,” Blaine says, reacting on autopilot. “That’s what Richard just told me.”

Kurt’s being completely normal. They’re only in direct competition for a job that they both really want. And Kurt only knows one potentially career ending secret about him. Nothing to worry about.

He is so completely screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and ♥ so far. They've really encouraged me to get this out quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter after this one is a bit of a monster so it may take a little longer to get out. In the meantime please enjoy!

Blaine has the following Friday circled three times in his planner along with seven separate post it notes reminding him of the date. It’s the Application Deadline, and he’s spent so much time on his presentation that he’s seeing it in his sleep. He’s looked over his CV so many times that it’s starting to look like nonsense. He’s constantly waiting for Kurt to blow his life up, but so far, nothing. In fact, Kurt’s barely said a word to him except to grouchily ask him to have his breakdown more quietly. Blaine needs a break.

At three he wearily locks his computer and is surprised when Kurt does the same. They’re so horribly in sync.

“How’s it going, Cheddar?” Kurt asks and Blaine narrows his eyes for a second before realising. The Normal Co-Workers Game. Right. He can do that. In fact, he decides to test the boundaries of Kurt's current civility.

"Why do you call me that?" Blaine occasionally likes to ask this question at odd times in the hope that Kurt will be surprised into answering. It has never worked. It doesn't work now. Kurt, as usual, lies.

"Because you're so damn cheesy." Blaine isn't sure why he is so certain that Kurt is lying. He just is.

"Cheesy like Sunday morning," he says happily.

"You're unbelievable," Kurt says. He looks like he wants to scream. Or laugh. Blaine's not sure which. "Look all I was _going_ to say is that I'm going to get a coffee. You want anything?"

Blaine stares at him. Let Kurt make his coffee and have him spit in it or worse? Yeah right. “No need. I’ll come with you.”

Kurt looks surprised but shrugs his acceptance and sets off in long strides that Blaine has to scurry to keep up with. The kitchen is down the other end of the office and they see people actively staring at them as they pass. Kimiko gasps and grabs her phone. 

Blaine realises that his feud with Kurt is probably somewhat legendary and also not very executive worthy behaviour. Time to take the Normal Co-workers Game up a notch. 

“It’s OK, kids,” he says softly, trying to appear for all the world that he’s chatting unconcernedly to Kurt. “I know your Daddies fight but they still love you very much.”

Kurt catches on quickly. “And even if they have to separate, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault. Apart from you Sebastian. It definitely _is_ your fault.”

Blaine bites his lip against the grin, glad that Kurt is looking ahead and not at him. They arrive in the kitchen hip to hip, jostling briefly over who’s going to get to the cupboard. Blaine gets there first, but that doesn't seem to bother Kurt. He just presses up against Blaine's back and reaches over his head to grab a mug before him. The contact is fleeting but Blaine can’t help but sink into it slightly. It’s been so long since he’s been this close to a man. He’s forgotten how warm and solid they can be.

If Kurt notices he’s being a perverted psycho, he chooses not to say anything, just grabs a second clean mug down and presses it into Blaine’s hand before moving away and letting Blaine breathe.

Blaine has barely taken a step towards the coffee machine when Katy, HR director, literally sprints into the room, blond hair awry and panting hard. “What’s going on in here?” she demands between breaths. She works on the second floor. Blaine has no idea how she got to the tenth so quickly or why.

“We’re making coffee?” Blaine says.

“I got an SOS.”

“We’re fine Katy,” Kurt says, taking Blaine’s mug back from his hand and shoving it into the coffee machine. Blaine sneaks a glance but is surprised to see that Kurt is using the right settings. How does Kurt know how he takes his coffee? How does Kurt know _anything_ about him?

“You two are not allowed to be alone together” Katy gasps, now holding a stitch in her side.

“Well that’s unfortunate. Because we sit together in a room together alone all day every day. I spend between forty and fifty hours a week with this fine man. All alone,” Kurt says. He s _ounds_ pleasant but Blaine knows him well enough to know that what he's actually saying is _Fuck Off_.

 _“_ Yeah,” mutters Katy. “I’ve actually made several recommendations to Isabelle about that.” Blaine doesn't need to know _her_ very well at all to know that she is very much inferring the same thing.

“Well I’ll be Anderson’s boss soon so we’re going to have to learn how to… rub along. May as well start now,” Kurt says. Blaine glares.

“ _Actually_ I’ll be Kurt’s boss soon and I can manage _anybody_ ,” Blaine says. His tone implies that _anybody_ means _even this_ _idiot_.

“You two realise that you're my full time job right?” Katy asks tiredly and Blaine feels slightly guilty. He wants to be a good senior executive and part of that is having strong relationships with the other managers. And not starting pointless vendettas with colleagues. Time to build bridges.

“Katy, Kurt and I are working on our… differences. As you can see. And I assure you I am very committed to team building. I’ve actually drafted a recommendation to Richard and Isabelle for a team-building afternoon for corporate, design, executive and finance.” Blaine is pretty pleased with this latest brainstorm. He thinks it will sound excellent for the interview.

“And I of course will cosign to show my commitment,” Kurt adds, the freaking hijacker. "Because Anderson and I get on so well." Blaine nods and twitches with the desire to shoulder barge him.

Katy is still staring at them suspiciously so Blaine takes his mug from Kurt with a hearty “thanks” and the fakest of fake grins. _Look what good friends we are._

“Don’t worry Katy we have it all in hand,” Kurt assures her and they start to walk away in step, leaving a worried looking Katy in their wake.

“When I’m your boss I am going to work you so fucking hard,” Kurt growls, his voice rough and dirty.

“When I’m _your_ boss I’m going to make not smiling at me a dismissable offence,” Blaine retorts, nodding pleasantly at Hugo as they pass. Kurt’s moving so fast that Blaine is spilling his coffee on the carpet in his effort to keep up. He doesn’t slow down.

“When I’m your boss I’m going to make you do all my firing for me. See how loveable you are then.”

“When I’m your boss I’m probably going to be convicted of murder,” Blaine mutters darkly but Kurt still hears.

“When I’m your boss I’m going to implement a strict corporate uniform policy. No more grandpa chic with your cardigans and bow ties.”

“Bow ties are literally the brand,” Blaine protests.

“The brand is gender neutral fashion. Besides, I’ve already got your outfit picked out. Polyester shirts and ties from here on in.”

Blaine actually gasps. They both express themselves through their clothing and Kurt knows it. Blaine moves ahead of him to barge through the door of the executive office with unnecessary drama.

“Is that what it would take for you to stop lusting after me?” Blaine snaps.

“You got me, Cheddar.”

“I’ve got you alright” Blaine says, slamming his mug down on his desk and spilling coffee everywhere. They’re both standing at their desks, glaring at each other and breathing harder than the situation probably warrants. “I will never wear polyester and I will never work for you. If you get the job I will _quit_.”

Kurt actually looks surprised. “Really?”

“Oh, like you wouldn’t quit if I got it.”

“I hadn’t really thought,” Kurt says honestly. “I mean obviously I could never work for you but I’m not convinced Isabelle can do without me.”

“Kurt, you need to quit if I get it,” Blaine says slightly desperately. He really doesn’t want to fire this man. Or anyone really.

“I don’t really give up on things that are important to me,” Kurt’s voice has taken on a steel edge.

“Me neither. But if you’re so sure you’re going to get the job, it shouldn’t be a problem to promise you’ll resign if you don't, should it?”

Kurt mulls this over. “I mean it is basically impossible that I won’t win. The only time I lost a diva off in Glee club was when I deliberately threw it. And this is like the ultimate diva off.”

Blaine is well and truly side tracked. “You were in Glee club?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says absently. “Fine. As you have all the authority of a poodle, which I am sure will be obvious to the entire interview panel, I agree to your terms. I’ll resign if you win. You resign if I win.”

Kurt unlocks his drawer and grabs his planner as Blaine watches, still trying to picture a baby faced Kurt singing on a stage. But he’s distracted from _that_ thought when Kurt makes a very obvious mark in the margin of his planner. _Got him._

“What?” Kurt asks suspiciously, sensing Blaine’s stare.

“Nothing,” Blaine sing-songs, logging into his computer.

_I thinks he puts a tally mark when we fight._

*

Blaine is eternally grateful that the years have stripped away the worst of Cooper’s egotistical behaviour and as a result made him an all round much better brother. He even turns up to their scheduled weekly Hangouts calls and is interested in Blaine’s life, which is not something that could have been said even five years ago.

“Have you got your application in yet?” Cooper asks.

“Not yet. It’s due Friday. I’m worried I’ll think of something better to add when I’ve already submitted it.”

“I think you’re stressing too much, B.”

“Probably,” Blaine sighs. “I think the stress is getting to both of us. Kurt actually offered to make me a coffee today. It was weird. Of course, he then verbally abused me the second we left the kitchen so normalcy was eventually restored.”

“Kurt-the-guy-who-hates-you, Kurt?”

“Yeah.”

Cooper frowns at him though the laptop screen. “Was he planning on poisoning it, do you think?” he asks seriously.

Blaine laughs. “No. I mean maybe with laxatives. Not sure he would have got away with a full on poisoning in the communal kitchen.”

“I just don’t get that guy,” Cooper mutters. “Who could hate you? You’re like a Disney character.”

“Says you, Flynn Rider,” Blaine says with a fond eye roll.

“I mean yeah, I’m definitely Disney prince material. Look at this jaw. But for you I meant more like… Bambi?”

“Oh fuck off,” Blaine says without heat as Cooper cackles.

“Does Kurt hate baby animals, B? Is that why he doesn’t like you?”

“I don’t really know. I think it was just hate at first sight.”

“Inconceivable,” Cooper says dramatically in the exact tone as in _The Princess Bride_. “No one hates my brother. I mean look at you. You’re adorable.”

“Like a baby deer, I _get_ it Cooper.”

“Not just that. Like you’re actually nice. You actually see the best in people. You’re _pleasant_. I sometimes doubt we’re related.”

“Oh don’t worry. Me too. Every day,” Blaine dead pans and Cooper gives him the finger.

“Maybe he’s in love with you,” Cooper says slowly.

“Cooper.”

“No no no think about it!” Cooper says excitedly. “Hopelessly in love with the man he can’t have, he pushes him away in the hope that it will make it hurt a little less.”

“You’ve been reading too many shitty scripts” Blaine decides.

“I don’t know. Your boss is a total douche right? Maybe Kurt thinks he can’t act on anything while you’re working under him.”

“I mean he wouldn’t be wrong about that. Although, he has just found out I’m gay so that’s a thing,” Blaine says, visibly deflating.

“Are you OK, Squirt?” Cooper asks kindly, noticing his shift in mood.

“To be honest…” Blaine hesitates. “I’m feeling a little lost. My boss _is_ a total douche. He’s prejudiced against every group of people you can imagine. I literally have to hide who I am around him. If I get this new job I’ll be working even more closely with him. My closest colleague hates me. No one at work really wants to be _friends_ because I’m too close to Richard. This fashion stuff isn’t even my real passion, I was just doing it to pay the bills and now it’s like my whole thing. This promotion would be great because it would allow me a lot more creativity but is that really what I want? I miss music. I miss performing. I miss having people around me that actually care about me.” Blaine blinks. He wasn’t intending to say that much.

Cooper is silent for a moment. “Do you know how I know we _are_ related?” he asks eventually.

“No.” Blaine has no idea where this is going.

“Because we both need to be fulfilled in what we are doing to be happy. And we will both do whatever we need to do to achieve our dreams. If this job isn’t it, Blaine, find out what _is.”_ Cooper pauses and adds as an afterthought, “We both also have a bit of a need to be adored but that’s a whole other thing.” 

Blaine cracks a weak smile.

“Also” Cooper says. “ _I_ care about you. So does Tina. So does Sam. I know it probably feels a little lonely in that place when you have negativity coming at you non-stop. But you’re not alone, little brother.”

Blaine sighs, feeling his shoulders come down slightly. It’s somehow exactly what he needs to hear. “Thanks, Coop. When did you get so wise?”

“Probably about the time I gave up those credit commercials. They were really terrible.”

*

They end up staying on Hangouts for several hours, keeping each other company as they both separately make dinner and eat it with their laptops propped in front of them like they're sitting across from each other.

Blaine gets no further with the job decision. He wants the promotion because he's ambitious and thinks he actually has good ideas and also a bit because he requires validation. But he suspects Kurt wants it because it's his actual dream and feels a little uncomfortable potentially taking that away.

"Don't think about anyone else in this decision, Blaine," Cooper advised as they were saying goodbye. "Just think about yourself. What do _you_ want?"

Blaine agrees with him in theory. It just isn't so easy in practice. He's definitely going to submit his application though. He can't give up an obvious opportunity at the first hurdle.

He lays on his bed afterwards idly zooming in on the picture of Kurt's planner he has on his phone. There's five tally marks on the random Monday he photographed. They could have easily had five arguments that day. It stacks up.

He frowns over the slashes. No idea about that. The X's though. It makes Blaine think of kisses tacked onto the end of texts. Well there's certainly no love in that office. Maybe this is Kurt's HR log.

HR makes him think of Katy and then his and Kurt's subsequent conversation. _Grandpa_ _chic?_ He does have a penchant for cardigans and polo shirts but it doesn't mean he is incapable of being sexy.

He springs off the bed and rummages through his wardrobe. Kurt wants him in a shirt and tie? Fine. Be picks out a short sleeved, practically see through white button down. He's put on some muscle since he bought the shirt and he knows it makes his arms look amazing. He matches it with a skinny black tie.

Now for pants. He knows for a fact, thanks to Tina, that his butt is his best asset. He picks out his tightest pair of red pants. He does have an affinity for red pants. But these ones have the dual purpose of making his ass look great and also kind of showing off what he has going on in the front too.

He'll get up early and do his hair properly for once. Take time to tame the curls without just slavering gel all over them like he normally does, too lazy and sleep deprived for much else.

Kurt is going to spit coffee through his nose at the sight of him. Blaine's not sure why this is important to him, but it is. It's an odd thought to drift off to.

*

Falling asleep with Kurt's name in his head is clearly the reason for the dream.

Blaine is lying on his stomach and Kurt is braced over him, pressed along his back, hot and solid. His voice is a growl in Blaine's ear.

"I'm going to work you so fucking hard."

He grinds against Blaine's ass, slow and heavy, letting Blaine feel every inch of him. Blaine whimpers, pressing his own arousal into the mattress beneath him.

"I can do whatever you want but you have to tell me," Kurt purrs, lips lingering on the shell of his ear. There's slick fingers sliding down over his ass and Blaine squirms with desire.

"Wait. Want to see you," Blaine murmurs. Kurt presses up on his arms to let Blaine twist beneath him, settling back down so they're chest to chest.

Blaine can look into into his eyes now and the thought that this is Kurt really hits home. Kurt looks at him, eyes dark with arousal but soft with an unspoken apology.

"Yeah. Afraid so," he murmurs.

"You want me," Blaine realises. Kurt's kiss to the pulse in his neck serves as confirmation. _You want me so badly._

Blaine reaches up to cup a hand to Kurt's cheek and pulls him in for an open mouthed kiss and feels Kurt groan into his mouth. Kurt's hands are everywhere, still sticky with lube, stroking up over Blaine's hip, hitching up his legs to wrap around his waist. There's a moment of delicious friction between them and they both moan into the kiss.

Blaine is so hot. He can't even move with Kurt pressing him into the mattress. But he's never been wanted like this. Never felt so in control.

Kurt pulls back from the kiss to his rest his forehead against Blaine's.

"You've always known," he whispers and Blaine wakes up.

It doesn't take much thought to slip his hand into his sleeping shorts and finish the job, biting his lip as he comes to stop any accidental escape of Kurt's name.

He glances at the clock. Three hours to bleach this incident from his mind.


	5. Chapter 5

Blaine gets to work early the next day. He examines his reflection in the mirror in the elevator and feels pretty good about what he sees. His hair looks soft and curly without being the puff of frizz he usually wakes up with. 

The pants though, might have been a mistake. He's already had to adjust himself three times (once on the bus before he realised he was _that_ guy on the bus with his hand down his pants and quickly stopped.) They leave literally nothing to the imagination. You can see the entire outline of his dick through the fabric. There's nothing wrong with his dick, Blaine is quite fond of it in fact. He's just not sure how he feels about everyone knowing what it looks like. On the plus side, the pants do make his ass look incredible.

Kurt is already there of course. Eight on the dot. Like clockwork. Blaine sort of assumes he must sleep in the office to always be so punctual. Especially with LA traffic. Kurt doesn't look up when Blaine walks in until Blaine kind of forces him too by greeting him with an overly exuberant and cheerful "Good morning!"

"Yeah, hi," Kurt says distractedly, glancing up. The glance becomes a full on stare. "Wow, Cheddar," he drawls. "Hot date tonight?"

"You know it," Blaine says. Lying to Kurt is just second nature at this point.

"Who with?"

"A person." 

"What time?"

"Seven?" Blaine hazards. He's sweating slightly.

"Where're you going?"

"Why are you so interested?" Blaine asks, trying to think. He is blanking on every bar in the city.

"I've read that if managers take interest in their employees lives, it can help them feel valued and therefore work better. I just figure I should start practising now."

Blaine glares. Kurt truly is unbelievable. "We're going to the Purple Turtle. Satisfied?" It's the first place that comes to mind. It's a bit of student bar to be honest but it does good cocktails.

"Very satisfied. Weird coincidence but I'm meeting a friend at Purple Turtle at seven tonight. I guess I'll see you there. " Kurt smirks.

Blaine is stumped. Kurt is diabolical. "Guess so," is all he says, making sure to sound bored and not as panicked as he feels. He can find someone before tonight. There is nearly three hundred people in this building. He'll hire an escort if he has too.

Blaine slides over to his desk and leans on the side closest to Kurt in what he hopes is a relaxed but seductive pose. He regrets it immediately when he realises how prominently he's displaying his dick.

Kurt is looking.

"See something you like?" Blaine asks, trying to sound suave but mostly sounding nervous.

"Yep." Either Kurt has no shame or no social skills, Blaine actually isn't sure which.

"My eyes are up here, Hummel. Don't make me involve poor Katy. We're already her full time job, remember."

Kurt blinks but tears his eyes up to Blaine's face. "Sorry. Just admiring the stitching on your pants. Obviously."

It's impossible to tell whether he's joking. He just sounds like he always does. A bit bored. A bit sarcastic. Totally over it. Blaine wonders if it's obvious he kind of wants Kurt to come over here, peel his pants off and sink down onto his knees. He definitely wants Kurt on his knees.

"You OK there?" Kurt asks, sounding amused. "You've got your horny eyes on again."

Blaine abruptly realises this is a terrible position to be in to start having sexual thoughts and scrambles away to sit behind his desk like the skittish fawn he apparently is.

"What's wrong?" Kurt asks, looking mildly worried. Blaine wants to kiss the expression off his face. He wants to go into the basement and scream. That dirty dream is ruining his life. This was all such a terrible idea.

"I'm fine," he says eventually, way too late.

"OK," Kurt says, disbelieving. "Want to try that one again?"

"I had a dream," Blaine confesses with the air of one who's just said _there's been a terrible accident_.

"A dream." Kurt sits back in his chair, actually steepling his fingers.

"Yep." Blaine's pops the "P" obnoxiously trying to put a stop to the inevitable interrogation before it can begin. He busies himself logging into his computer (new password: KurtHummelSucks). He feels Kurt's eyes on his face.

"I forgot your hair is that curly." Kurt's voice is soft, almost fond. It's completely out of nowhere. Blaine just blinks at him in complete bewilderment. "It was like that the first day we met. You probably don't remember it." As if Blaine could forget. "But since then you've always gelled it into submission."

Blaine nods. His every day style is not the gelmet he had at school but he certainly doesn't show off his curls to their full potential. "It's a lot of effort."

Kurt hums and Blaine thinks that Kurt might actually smile but he ducks his head instead.

"So this dream?" Kurt says to his desk.

Blaine sighs. He wonders if Kurt was trying to lull him into a false sense of security or if he was just desperate to change the subject. "Yeah?"

"Was it about… a guy?"

"A guy?" It seems like an odd question. But then, he’s dressed up for once and has been eye fucking Kurt for the last ten minutes. Maybe it’s not that odd. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Care to elaborate?"

“OK I’ll tell you but…” Blaine bites his lip. He needs get this off his chest. “You obviously know about me.”

Kurt frowns. “Obviously. You’re sitting right in front of me.”

“Tina told me. That she outed me in the middle of a work meeting,” Blaine clarifies.

“Oh,” Kurt’s eyes widen in realisation. “Yes, she’s terrible at secrets. Just to warn you. But I promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone. And I meant it.”

“Really?” Blaine can’t help the disbelief that seeps into his voice. “Why wouldn’t you?”

Kurt slumps slightly. “I’m not actually a monster, Cheddar. I would never use something that personal against you. You give me _plenty_ of other things to work with anyway. Trust me.”

“Charmer,” Blaine says dryly. But he believes it. Maybe stupidly. But he does. And his shoulders go down for the first time in a week. “Thanks.”

“Stop stalling. Tell me about the dream.” 

"Oh it was highly erotic," Blaine says, sinking back into playing with Kurt as easily as bathwater.

"Dear Katy…" Kurt mutters, pretending to type. He doesn't even look at his screen.

"Sorry, I mean neurotic. I always get those two mixed up."

"You had an anxious dream?"

"Yeah. I was naked."

This seems to pique Kurt's interest. "Do go on."

"And I was wandering through all these corridors which kind of reminded me of my high school. I was searching for something." Kurt has turned him into a pathological liar.

"Searching for what?" Kurt breathes.

"I didn't know. But a voice kept calling my name and I could feel this presence at my back, really close so I could feel the heat of him against me. I felt like maybe this is who I was looking for but every time I turned he seemed to dance out of my reach. I couldn't catch sight of him."

"Really?" Kurt looks sad at this, though Blaine isn't sure why. "Did you catch him in the end?"

"No. But when I stood still hecaught up tome _._ He pressed up against my back and I could feel he was naked too. I tried to turn but he was bigger than me and wouldn't let me move. And I asked him. 'Who are you? Why do do you want me so badly?' And he whispered his name into my ear. I was quite surprised."

Kurt's head snaps up. "Who was it?"

Blaine shakes his head. "Someone I know pretty well." He makes an exaggerated show of looking around the empty room. "If you come over here I'll whisper it to you."

Kurt shivers. "Um, no thanks."

Blaine is confused for a moment until Kurt shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Is Kurt Hummel turned on his presence? It just makes Blaine want to tease him even more. He’s actually winning whatever game this is. The Make Kurt See Him As A Sexual Being Game? The name needs work. The reasons behind it probably need examining too. But not right now.

"Don't worry I'll come to you," Blaine murmurs.

"No. It's fine. You can just tell me. From over there."

But Blaine is in his element. He uses his half forgotten dancer training to move across the room in the most seductive way he knows how, holding Kurt's gaze the entire time. God, he feels powerful for once. Kurt turns in his chair as Blaine comes round his desk and Blaine steps forward, practically between his legs.

"Hey," he says quietly, feeling suddenly shy now he's so close.

"Hey," Kurt breathes. There's a charged moment and Blaine wonders how Kurt would react if he just climbed into his lap and kissed his beautiful face off. He has no idea what's happening to him. He's sweating. He’s only meant to be winding Kurt up but he's managing to wind himself up too. Kurt seems as much at a loss as him judging by the look on his face.

Eventually he reaches out and lightly touches Blaine's tie. It's the most deliberate touch they've ever shared. Blaine wants to grab his hand and move it up to his face. Or down lower. Both options have their appeal.

"Nice tie," Kurt says, slightly apologetically, like he knows it's inadequate for the situation.

"Yeah?" Blaine asks looking down at it.

"Yeah."

"Well you wanted me in a shirt and tie. I thought I would demonstrate." Blaine tries to flex his muscles without looking like he is.

"Yes," Kurt says, eyes sliding over his shoulders and down his arms. "I admit that what I had picked out was a lot more synthetic and…" he gestures up and down his own arm. "Long sleeved."

"Shame. When you're my boss you'll have to kiss these arms goodbye."

"If I become your boss you're going to quit," Kurt points out.

"Then I guess you'll have to kiss all of me goodbye." Wow, that came out dirtier that Blaine intended.

"I look forward to it. The you leaving part not the kissing part… never mind. Can I help you?" Blaine has never seen Kurt this flustered. He's actually a little flushed. It goes all the way down his neck.

Blaine's only almost forgotten why he came over here in the first place. He leans in, breath gusting over Kurt's ear, sliding a hand over his shoulder. "I was going to tell you a secret."

"HR," Kurt murmurs, barely audible.

“Is that like our safe word?” Blaine teases. 

"Completely unprofessional behaviour."

Blaine let's his lips linger, a hairs breadth from Kurt's ear. And then he pulls back."No, you're right," Blaine agrees, giving Kurt a cheeky wink. "Can't go whispering the name of my naked dream man to you. Completely unprofessional."

And with that he whirls and away and sashays out of the office toward the kitchen. He can feel Kurt's eyes on his butt the entire time. Victory has never tasted so sweet.

* * *

Unfortunately, Kurt has kind of laid down the gauntlet by saying he was going to crash Blaine's 'date' and Blaine doesn't put it past him to actually do it. So he needs to find a man.

He hopefully calls Sam but Sam has already got plans that night and can't make it. The only other man Blaine feels truly comfortable with is Cooper and that won't work for obvious reasons.

He's wandering the office floor, trying to look purposeful when he runs into Tina. She's still trying to make up for the whole Outing Incident. Blaine is still not sure that she's forgiven.

"Blaine, oh my God, your ass looks amazing."

"Thanks."

"It looks like a choir of cherubs guided the hand of the great Michael Angelo himself to sculpt the perfect butt."

"And you made it weird."

"Sorry," Tina grins. "You look good is what I'm trying to say in a not creepy way. Don't let Sebastian see you. He'll probably jump you."

She walks off with a little wave, leaving Blaine rooted to the spot.

Sebastian. Now there's a thought.

* * *

Despite the fact that Blaine had stated firmly several times that he just wanted to go out tonight as _friends_ , Sebastian had still looked like the cat with the metaphorical cream. It couldn't be helped. Sebastian had agreed to both time and location and he is leaving the company soon and then Blaine never has to see him again. It's a solution, if not a perfect one.

It's with some trepidation that he walks back into his office. Kurt has been in a weird mood all morning. He puts it from his mind and contents himself by writing up the proposal for the team building afternoon they had promised Katy. He leaves space for two signatures. This is the first time they are going to collaborate on anything and will undoubtedly be the last.

He signs it and puts it in Kurt's in-tray and Kurt meets his eye for a moment before deliberately going back to what he was doing. It's two hours before he even picks up the proposal and even then he scribbles his signature across it without reading it. He really is in an odd mood.

Blaine starts up the Staring Game. It's a sure fire way to get attention eventually. Sure enough, after only a few moments, Kurt sighs and locks his computer.

They just stare at each other for several long minutes, the clock ticking away the seconds in the sudden deadly silence. Kurt's face is as impassive as ever but Blaine feels like something has changed between them. He's just not sure what.

"So. Nervous?" Kurt is the one to break the silence.

"No. Should I be?"

"Your 'hot date' tonight." Kurt doesn't quite stoop to using air quotations but his tone implies them. He doesn't believe Blaine for a second. "Who's it with again?"

"A guy. I told you."

"A guy you work with."

Blaine just shrugs.

"It's been a while since you've had a date hasn't it? As long as I've known you." Kurt comments.

"Yes, well I'm picky. There is a complete lack of eligible single men in this building."

"Oh, I don't know" Kurt says quietly.

"Maybe you’re right. I guess it turns out the right man was right in front of me all along. Handsome. Charming. And he's leaving soon so I thought why not? Here's my chance." Blaine supposes Sebastian is actually handsome and even charming if you squint a little.

"You sure about that?" Kurt asks.

"Yep," Blaine says. _Nope._ He springs up and walks over to Kurt's desk. Kurt kind of flinches back a little like he's worried Blaine is going to invade his personal space again but Blaine just plucks the signed proposal off his desk.

"I'll go get a copy of this for Isabelle."

When Blaine returns from the photocopier, Kurt hasn't moved but his hair is a little messed up like he's run a distracted hand through it. Probably more than once. It's worse than Blaine thought.

"Here" he says, slapping the copy onto Kurt's desk. "For Isabelle. Don't fuck this up for me, Kurt."

Blaine sees the exact moment that Kurt has the idea. He gets the sly look of a cat that's just realised the canary is not only unattended but also out of it's cage. Kurt scribbles something across the bottom of the copy and snatches it up, not letting Blaine see.

"Kurt, what are up to?" Blaine asks warily.

"You'll see Blainey Boy." Kurt pats his cheek on the way past and disappears into Isabelle's office.

* * *

Blaine is furious. He’s been completely blind sided by Kurt’s stupid paintballing idea. It’s also quarter past six and he really needs to get going if he wants to make his date on time but Kurt is _still_ here, looking as flawless as ever and it’s annoying. The whole thing just adds to his frustration.

“You’ve hijacked my team building project. Richard just told me,” he hisses.

Kurt actually the gall to look hurt by this. “I just put forward a suggestion to Isabelle.”

“A suggestion Isabelle and Richard have decided is superior to my, much more sensible, suggestion.”

Kurt rolls his eyes. “Your idea was getting everyone in one those rooms with the whiteboards and participation games and trust exercises. No one likes that stuff.”

“And they like shooting at each other with paint?”

“Obviously.”

“Kurt.”

“Cheddar.”

“It’s meant to be _team building_ ,” Blaine bursts out. Yes, this had originally been an idea designed to get Katy off their back but the more of the toxic behaviour he witnesses within this company, the more he thinks it’s actually necessary. Unfortunately the worst of the bad behaviour is driven by the _Ties_ lot, even he’ll admit that. It comes from the top.

Kurt sighs. “Look, can you just trust me? I want this day to be a success as much as you. I co-signed the thing. Anyway, I did paintballing back in Glee once. Our teacher used to these themed weekly lesson and the theme of the week was Confrontation because everyone was at odds, which wasn’t new, but was particularly bad that week.”

“Oh…kay?” Blaine says slowly. This is literally the most he has ever found out about Kurt’s life and it happened over a decade ago. He has no idea why Kurt’s being so forthcoming now. “Did it work?”

“Surprisingly yes. One of Mr Schue’s ideas that wasn’t completely terrible. The drama of it all kind of gets to you, you’ll see. It was fun but, more importantly, we all let out a lot of our aggression in a constructive way. And it kind of encourages camaraderie where the common goal is vengeance. It was all very wholesome. We also had a big song and dance number afterwards but we can probably skip that part.”

Blaine nods slowly. He’s still annoyed and still not convinced that this didn’t come from a place of malice but… it doesn’t sound completely awful.

“Now that you're pacified, don’t we need to get going?” Kurt asks, watching him.

“We?”

“I mean yeah. We’re both going to the Turtle, right? I can just give you a ride?”

Blaine sighs. So Kurt is going through with crashing the date after all. Fine. He probably still doesn’t believe that anyone would find him desirable enough to date him. He is a sexless Ken doll in Kurt’s eyes. But may as well get a ride and avoid being late. “Fine. Thanks.”

Blaine feels oddly nervous as they wait for the elevator. A car feels like a very enclosed space to be trapped in with Kurt of all people. He’s not sure they’ve ever even sat side by side before.

He watches in trepidation as Kurt, presses the B. Maybe Kurt is just luring him down to the basement to murder him. Maybe he’s finally cracked. He's finally pushed him too far with his teasing today. His body won't be found until the morning and by then Kurt will have washed the blood off his shoes.

“You OK?” Kurt asks, watching him with a bemused expression.

“You’ve asked me that a lot today.”

“You’re acting very strangely today. More than usual I mean.”

“Not acting strangely,” Blaine mutters at the floor in a frankly strange manner. He looks up to find Kurt looking at him still and there’s a few intense seconds of the Staring Game before Kurt says “Fuck it,” and slams his hand against the emergency stop.

“What are you _doing?_ ” Blaine squeaks. Kurt is coming towards him and Blaine is backing away but there’s only so much elevator before he’s pressed against the wall. “Don’t kill me, there’s probably cameras.”

"I'm not going to kill you, weirdo," Kurt murmurs. "I'm just coming over here for a second."

"What for?" Blaine breathes. Kurt's face is so close that he could lift his head just so and their lips would touch. Kurt slides a hand up his chest, warm against Blaine's skin even through the material of his shirt. 

"I propose a new game. OK?" Kurt says softly right next to his ear. Blaine just nods, not sure what he's agreeing to. He's just hyper aware of Kurt's body, so close to his own. And then Kurt is tugging lightly on his tie and Blaine has a brief moment of Definitely About To Die panic before Kurt’s lips touch his.

Blaine freezes for a moment. A kiss. Kurt is kissing him. It’s almost whisper soft. A gentle brush of lips, like Kurt is waiting for him to pull away at any moment. He doesn’t pull away. He moves closer, his hand settling against Kurt’s neck in an almost subconscious gesture. Kurt immediately relaxes, his free hand sliding more comfortably over Blaine’s shoulder and his lips parting slightly as Blaine presses in for more.

Kurt doesn’t kiss him carefully after that. They kiss messily, open mouthed, a hot, damp press of lips. Blaine can’t stop tugging Kurt closer, with an arm hooked around his waist, until he’s pressed almost painfully into the side of the elevator by Kurt’s body. He can’t find a single part of himself that cares. He just presses in more fiercely, licking his way into the heat of Kurt’s mouth. It’s not tentative. It’s practically decadent. They take their time tasting and feeling, losing several heady minutes to the slick slide of tongues.

Breathing feels like it isn’t even an option. Blaine can’t imagine stopping this. His hands move restlessly over Kurt's hips, sliding up under his shirt to feel the soft skin there. He nips gently at Kurt's mouth, arches into him with his body. He wants everything all at once.

Kurt seems to sense his urgency and responds with teasing. He playfully slips his tongue into Blaine's mouth, only to retreat and push in again. A constant, not enough give and take that's kind of driving Blaine crazy. He moans a little, rocking forward and moving a hand up to cup Kurt's neck again, the other into his hair, keeping him close. He feels Kurt actually smile against his mouth. He tries to pull away to get a look but Kurt chases his lips and Blaine doesn’t resist when they sink in to each other again. 

When Kurt tries a teasing retreat this time, Blaine sucks on his tongue, practically fucking his mouth on it with a few quick strokes in a filthy suggestion of what else he could be doing with it. Kurt groans and Blaine felts the sharp ache of arousal unfurl in his stomach at the sound. Kurt presses his hips into Blaine's, grinding into him for a few heated moments that leave Blaine gasping.

"Everything alright in there?" The elevator speaker has crackled into life.

Blaine thinks it's lucky that hadn't happened a few moments earlier because he probably would have bitten Kurt's tongue off. As it is, he pushes Kurt away in shock so hard that Kurt stumbles. They are so completely busted. The moment is so completely ruined.

Kurt would still look completely unruffled if his lips weren't kiss bitten red and his hair a mess. "Sorry, must have leaned on the button by accident," he says smoothly into the small speaker. Blaine is glad that he can see how clearly still turned on Kurt is otherwise it would feel like some fever dream.

"Away we go then," the voice says cheerfully and it's barely three seconds before the elevator arrives in the basement. If Kurt had waited even three seconds none of it would have happened.

"What the _fuck_ was that?" Blaine demands, stumbling after Kurt towards his car.

Kurt arches an eyebrow in surprise. "It's called kissing, Cheddar. Surely you've done it before. You certainly seemed like you had." He has the audacity to wink.

"Yes but… you and me. What?" Blaine has literally been rendered incoherent. He tries to casually adjust himself - he is seriously burning these pants when he gets home, there is no room for anything in here.

Kurt waits until they're both seated in his car to respond and, in hindsight, Blaine has no clue why he's willingly got into another enclosed space with Kurt. The man is clearly a sociopath. And a really good kisser. Fuck, he's a good kisser.

"Are you OK?"

"Stop asking me that," Blaine says slightly hysterically and sounding very much not OK.

Kurt is silent for a bit, letting Blaine process until they hit the highway. "You're freaking me out. Have I traumatised you?"

"You kissed me."

"It seemed like a good time," Kurt says, a little sheepishly.

"But why? I mean at all."

"It was just… I Had A Theory about you. About us. And well… you kissed me back. God, did you kiss me back.” Kurt looks pleased. Blaine feels mortified.

"Have you lost your mind? A _theory_. Is this about that stupid surprising me bet?” Blaine very much regrets that dumbass Theory game now. “Or you're just trying to fuck me up before my date? Oh shit - Sebastian!" Up until that point Blaine had kind of forgotten Sebastian existed.

"Um, I'm Kurt, remember?" Kurt is glaring at the road but his tone sounds a little hurt.

"What? Of course you are." Blaine is frantically pulling down the sun visor to look in the mirror. Nothing to be done about the state of his lips. _Fuck._ "My _date_ is with Sebastian."

It actually feels like the temperature in the car drops several degrees. "You're going on a date with Sebastian?"

"Yes, that's where you're driving me to, remember? What's wrong with you?"

"Sebastian was the man that's 'been in front of you the whole time'?" Kurt snaps, incredulously.

"Well I mean…" Blaine decides to just evade the question. "Did you think I was lying?" He kind of had been lying to begin with but that wasn't the point.

Kurt is silent for a few moments. "I thought… someone else." Then much quieter, "I should have known you were just fucking with me."

" _I'm_ fucking with _you_?" Blaine kind of whisper shouts it. It was just a bit of flirting. Hardly a hanging offense. He is so beyond frustrated. Kurt doesn't answer. He has schooled his expression into its perennial frown.

Blaine wonders if Kurt really had done all this just to prove he could do something to surprise him. Well colour him fucking surprised. He touches his lips absently. He has no idea what to feel. He didn't really expect a person that supposedly hates him to make out with him in an elevator, that's for sure. That was not in The Plan. 

The silence in the car is oppressive. Blaine realizes just how exhausting hating someone really is. He feels on edge all the time at work. He's constantly expecting the worse. It feels like such a waste of time to spend the majority of his time with someone that actively despises him.

"I wish we could just be friends," Blaine says quietly, watching the traffic whoosh by. He hadn't really meant to say it out loud.

"We will _never_ be friends," Kurt snaps and the harshness of his tone takes Blaine aback.

When Kurt finally pulls up outside the the Purple Turtle, Blaine tumbles out of the car and runs towards the bar before the car has even come to a complete stop.

He hears Kurt's desperate shout of "Blaine!" and dimly registers the use of his actual name but doesn't turn and doesn't stop moving until he's safely in the bar.

He takes a beat to compose himself and wonders if he can quickly slide off to the restroom to scream or splash water on his face or something. Unfortunately, Sebastian is sitting at the bar and catches Blaine's eye almost immediately, patting the empty bar stool beside him.

_Here we go_.

"Blaine, you made it," Sebastian says, pushing a beer over to him. "You look like you could use this."

"Yes, sorry, am I late?" Blaine glances at his watch. Only ten minutes but still. He hates being late. He also realizes that the ten minutes he is late are probably most of the time spent in the elevator and feels even worse. "Sorry," he says again.

"Chill, Blaine it's only a few minutes. I've been checking out the 'ambience'," he grins, gesturing to some guys are dancing in the sunken dance area. They all look about 20 to Blaine's mind and he gives Sebastian a judgemental look.

Sebastian laughs. "Don't worry, now you're here I only have eyes for you."

"Sebastian," Blaine warns.

"Yes I know. It's just a friendly drink. And I promise you I can be very friendly."

Blaine sighs. Today is really not the day. Sebastian seems to realise this and holds his hands up in surrender. "OK, I'll stop. I’m sorry. You’re just sex on a stick. It's hard to resist."

"Thanks, I felt like making an effort this morning," Blaine says, slightly sad.

"Well, yes, you do look _extra_ hot today but I think you look good all the time," Sebastian shrugs. "You know that."

For some reason, probably because Sebastian is usually so horribly over the top with his flirting that it's eye roll inducing, that simple statement feels like the most honest compliment he's ever given. And Blaine is horrified to feel his throat closing up again. God, he's an emotional wreck lately.

Sebastian, gesturing for another beer, doesn't notice, and when he turns back he grins. "So, want to tell me about your day, _friend_? You do look quite flustered if you don't mind me saying."

"Me minding has never stopped you before" Blaine mutters tightly. "You know, I've come straight from the office, I'm just gonna go… freshen up real quick."

Sebastian looks at him closely but just nods."Sure."

Blaine doesn't even make it the bathroom, just stands in the corridor outside it, trying to calm himself.

"Blaine?"

It's Kurt. Of course it is. Just what he needs when he'd having some sort of breakdown. He quickly wipes at his cheeks in case a tear has gone astray.

"Please just leave me alone," Blaine says tiredly. "Why are you even here?"

"I was worried. You ran off. Are you crying?"

"No," Blaine lies. "Kurt, if you don't want to be friends with me, as you made abundantly clear by the way, why do you care how I feel?"

Kurt swallows. "I don't…" he sighs, looking on the verge of tears himself. "This is a total mess."

"Understatement," Blaine mutters. "Look, you've won alright? I'm too tired to fight with you right now."

"Won?" Kurt doesn't look like he feels he's won anything. In fact, he looks devastated which is somehow even more irritating.

"You've seen me cry. Twice. You got me to kiss you when I should have just punched you in the face. You've accomplished a lot today."

"Do you think all this…" Kurt gestures between them, "is in an effort to make you cry, Cheddar? Of course it's not."

"Don't call me that," Blaine snaps. It feels too close to an endearment right now and he feels too raw to handle it. Unbalanced. "Can you go now?"

Kurt slumps against the wall. "Shouldn't you be the one going? Out there. To charm your man." He gestures towards the bar.

"Yeah, I just need a minute. It's not that easy to be charming all the time."

"You always seem to manage." Kurt seems sincere. Blaine kind of wants to hit him. Instead he nods and shuffles along the wall, wondering if he can just casually side step his way out of this conversation. It's not that he fears confrontation exactly, he just really doesn't have the energy for it right now.

"I shouldn't have done it," Kurt bursts out suddenly. He looks positively tortured. "Kissed you. I thought… well it doesn't matter what I thought. It was clearly unwanted. And I never want to be that guy trust me. _My_ first kiss… but that's not important." He's rambling, gesturing wildly. Blaine has literally never seen him like this. "If you want to report me to HR…"

"Oh my God, is that what this is about?" Blaine interrupts. No wonder Kurt's upset, he thinks he's out of a job. "You're worried I'm going to _report_ you?" Kurt is shaking his head, looking stricken but Blaine ploughs on.

"Do you know why I'm out here trying to get a hold of myself? Because Sebastian said that I look good all the time. You know, I am so miserable at work and feel so bad about myself all the time because of _you_ basically, that a simple compliment like that made me _cry_. It's ridiculous. _We're_ ridiculous together."

"Blaine," Kurt says softly. "I think you…"

"Shut up. There is nothing more for you to say to me. There's nothing more you can _do_ to me. You've won. Goodnight."

With that, Blaine stomps off back to the bar, leaving a dejected Kurt in his wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who did the elevator trope best? Glee or Me. Vote now in the comments below :P 
> 
> (I am totally kidding, I was on tumblr the day the fandom lost it's collective sh*t over that kiss lol)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew long chapter ahoy! I think I've decided it's going to be ten chapters overall. Subject to change on my whim.   
> Enjoy!

Blaine calls Richard the next day and says he needs a Personal Day for Personal Reasons. Richard is fine with it. Blaine supposes there are some perks to being his favourite.

"No problem, Blainey Boy. Be rested for tomorrow. Application deadline remember." 

Blaine spends the best part of his morning brooding, pacing and kind of wanting to die of embarrassment. 

He had managed to somewhat salvage the previous evening. Once Sebastian had accepted they were only going to be friends, he had relaxed a lot and become much better for it. They had a surprising amount in common including a love for music. Blaine can't remember the last time he'd really been able to gush about music. It was nice. 

When they had parted, Sebastian had smacked a kiss to his cheek and told him "Don't be a stranger." And Blaine felt like he had a new ally in the trenches of hell that was the office. A very short lived ally. It was a shame Sebastian was leaving in a week. But not that much of a shame. 

The better part of his brainpower though, is taken up by the Kurt Paradox (as Blaine had taken to calling it in his head). He cannot for the life of him work out what drove Kurt to kiss him. Yes, he was dressed better than normal and they had been flirting but… they always flirt, no matter what Kurt claims. It's never made Kurt forget that he thinks that Blaine is a boring, people pleasing cheese puff before. 

Was this like a hate sex thing? Do people actually have hate sex? Do they usually kiss like they're drowning and the other person is oxygen first? Blaine is pretty sure he doesn't want to have hate sex. He, at the very least, wants to have hey-I-kind-of-like-you sex. 

Maybe Kurt had really just taken the stupid challenge to surprise him way too far. Maybe he really had just been trying to mess Blaine up for his date. Neither of those things really feel true though. Kurt had claimed it was all to test a Theory. But had presented neither hypothesis nor findings. Apart from Blaine had kissed him back. Which he had. And it was good. In that moment he's pretty sure he would have quite happily kept kissing Kurt forever. Which brings him full circle to the  _ why _ again. 

Blaine remembers the way Kurt had nibbled on his lip and teased him with his tongue and full on groaned into his mouth. He can still feel the phantom press of Kurt's hips into his. God, he wishes it could just be real.

He resumes pacing. 

At lunchtime he calls Cooper, needing to get another perspective on things. 

"So let me get this straight." Cooper says. "Kurt-the-guy-who-hates-you, Kurt  _ kissed  _ you?"

"Yes."

"And you kissed him back?"

"Yes."

"And it was really good?"

"Yes."

"So you're mad at him  _ because _ ?" 

Blaine sighs, fidgets with a hole in his comforter, tries to explain. "Because what the  _ fuck,  _ Cooper?"

At that moment there's a knock on the door and Blaine has a hideous moment of panic when he thinks it must be Kurt and isn't sure whether he  _ wants _ it to be him or not. 

Telling Cooper to hang on, he goes to answer the door to be met with, not Kurt, but a courier holding a bunch of red and yellow roses. 

It doesn't say who sent them but it doesn't need to. The note reads " _ You look more than good every day. You take my breath away _ ." Fucking Sebastian back to his over the top compliments. Blaine should have known he couldn't help himself. He will grudgingly admit the flowers are a good choice though and the well timed ego boost is appreciated. 

"What was that?" Cooper asks. 

"Oh, Sebastian sent me flowers."

"There's a Sebastian involved now?" Cooper wails. "What is going on over there?"

Blaine tries his best to explain it from the start. From wanting to prove to Kurt that he's more than just some grandad (for reasons) to flirting with Kurt in the office to the kiss and all the way to their fight in the bar. 

"You really have no idea why Kurt kissed you?" Cooper asks eventually. 

"I've narrowed it down to two options. Temporary insanity or pure fuckery." Pause. "Or hate sex." 

" _ Or, _ " Cooper says, "and stick with me here because this is a complicated concept. He just  _ wanted _ to."

"Inconceivable," Blaine says and Cooper sighs. 

"Seriously, Blaine. From an outside perspective it just kind of seems like he's into you, he got jealous and then he jumped you in an elevator. It's not all that complicated." 

"Not this again, Cooper. He doesn't like me. Have you not listened to me complain about him month after month?" 

"I very much have listened to that. Constantly," Cooper says drily. "I don't know, B. You're obviously much closer to the situation than me so maybe I'm way off base but… think about this. Even after all that, he still drove you where you wanted to go  _ and _ came to check on you. He could have abandoned you on the side of the road."

"Well that would have been pretty cruel."

"Exactly. Like something someone that hates you would do. Right?"

Blaine thinks for a moment. "You're delusional."

"And you're insufferable," Cooper declares. "I have to go."

Cooper's annoyed. Blaine can tell because Cooper hung up him. He's very astute. He would know if Kurt had a crush on him. There would be Signs. It's absolutely stupid. He kind of wants it to be true. 

He contents himself texting Sebastian about the flowers instead. 

**To Sebastian:** Thank you so much! 

**To Blaine:** The pleasure was all mine. I had a great time last night ;) We'll have to do it again.

**To Sebastian:** Definitely. As friends though yeah? 

**To Blaine:** Yes Blaine. Now calm down. You're going to give me a complex. 

Blaine shrugs. Maybe in Sebastian's world, it's perfectly normal to send flowers after a friend date. He is loaded after all. 

He has an application to finalise and an apartment to clean but instead he find himself picking up some blank sheet music and a pencil and plopping himself down on his piano stool. He touches the keys reverently for a moment before he starts to play. An idea for a new song has been nudging him all day. Time to let it out. 

* * *

The next morning he gets into work just after eight. He's determined to hustle past Kurt's desk without even looking at him but he doesn't have to. Kurt's not even there. 

"Kurt?" Isabelle calls from her office. 

"No it's me, Blaine." 

"Blaine, darling. Would you mind coming in for a second?"

Frowning, Blaine does as he's asked, slipping in and closing the door. He actually gets on fairly well with Isabelle but they don't have much cause to talk one on one. 

"How can I help?" Blaine asks uncertainly. 

Isabelle peers at him. "Application in?"

"Yes, submitted this morning. Kurt..?"

"Yes his is in too. And a few external applicants."

Blaine nods and Isabelle watches him before seeming to decide to get to the point.

"Are you alright? Kurt mentioned you had a date Wednesday night and then you had a day off yesterday. Does that mean it went very badly or very well?" She grins. 

"The date was fine," Blaine says warily. He has no idea what Kurt has said to her. 

"Was it with Kurt?" Isabelle asks bluntly. 

"What? Of course not. It was with Sebastian Smythe, from legal," Blaine says unthinkingly. 

"Wait, Sebastian is the man that's been 'in front of you the whole time'?" 

"Why do people keep  _ saying  _ that?" And how much had Kurt told her? 

"Well. It's just he's very obvious. I don't know how you would have missed him, darling." 

"Did you call me in here just to ask about my date?" Blaine demands.

Isabelle sighs. "No it's just… you didn't come into the office. And Kurt, to put it frankly, was a mess yesterday. I've known that man nearly ten years now and there's only been a handful of occasions in which I haven't seen him perfectly put together. I thought these two details might be connected? And Kurt is refusing to talk about it."

Blaine bites his lip and then decides on the sort of truth. "Kurt and I had a big argument before my date. I woke up feeling unstable. Like if we saw each other… there was going to be a crime scene." 

Isabelle raises her perfect eyebrows at that. "Wow. Do you mind if I ask what you fought about?"

"Um… Kurt didn't believe I had a date." Half truth again.

Isabelle frowns, looking confused. "Really? What makes you say that?"

"He thinks I have no sex appeal. That I'm boring and too nice and probably can't understand what a single other person could see in me."

Isabelle taps her pen to her lip. “He said all that to you?”

“In the past," Blaine shrugs. "Not during our fight though."

Isabelle looks like she is going to say something but thinks better of it. "Have you been worrying about it?"

"Not really." Only all night instead of sleeping. "I mean, he doesn't have to be attracted to me. But I wish he would at least respect me."

Isabelle nods. "You're a man that prizes his reputation of being likeable and approachable. Everyone likes you. Except him."

"He wants to destroy me," Blaine claims and OK, maybe he's being a bit dramatic. 

"And you, him?" Isabelle asks. 

"No. I mean I know I'm not guiltless in our vendetta, don't get me wrong. But it's exhausting. I've really only wanted Kurt and I to be friends." 

"Well if you need some space today I could sort out one of the empty offices on third? We could redirect your phone."

"No. Thanks but I've got to rip off the band-aid. I've got the quarterly report to prepare. I'll just put my headphones in and ignore him."

"Well, OK. If you're sure."

"I am. Thanks, Isabelle."

When Blaine exits Isabelle's office, Kurt is at his desk. He's not the mess that Isabelle reported but there's certainly some fraying around the edges. Some bits of hair spiking up untidily, shirt sleeves rolled up lopsidedly and a general air of exhaustion. 

"Hi," he says quietly.

"Hello." Blaine gives a stiff little nod. 

And then Kurt takes him completely by surprise. "God, I'm sorry, Blaine. I'm so  _ so _ sorry." 

Blaine looks at him.  _ Really _ looks. And the thing is, he believes him. Kurt had looked so tortured in the Turtle and he looks desperate now. There's no game here. Blaine could just make a snarky comment now and they could easily just sink back into what they always have been. But it's not really what Blaine wants anymore. "I know," he says softly. And then because they're still  _ them _ , "You only call me Blaine when you're feeling particularly repentant, I've noticed."

"While that is true, you also told me not to call you Cheddar anymore." 

"No. I mean that wasn't like a general rule…" Blaine says, feeling his cheeks flush. "You can still call me that dumb nickname if you must."

He will never admit this but he's secretly fond of having something that only Kurt calls him. And not usually in front of other people. It's private. It's theirs. It's probably for some completely horrible reason but… can't win them all. 

"I must." 

They both almost smile, glance at each others lips and look away again. The memory of the kiss hangs between them like a tangible thing.

Blaine wants to run. He wants to pull Kurt back into that elevator and jam the emergency stop button. He's hyper aware of his clothes against his skin. He can't stop looking at Kurt. 

"Can we just not hate each other for a bit?" Kurt blurts out in the silence. "Down weapons? Call a truce?" He raises his hands in surrender. Blaine stares at them. He thinks about where else he would like those hands. 

To cover his awkwardness, he reaches into his cardigan and mimes pulling out a gun and throwing in on the floor. Kurt slides an imaginary knife out of a thigh holster, fake spins it a few times and then places it on the desk. 

"And the rest," Blaine says, pointing. 

Kurt sighs in mock defeat, and makes a pantomime of pulling weapons out of all sorts of unlikely places. Blaine just watches until Kurt flops back in his chair in apparent exhaustion. 

"You're so weird," Blaine says. But his tone has no bite. 

They both stare at each for a moment and then they both start laughing. The sort of relieved laughter of two people that have seen some shit but are out the other side. Blaine feels warmth unfurl in his stomach as he finally,  _ finally  _ sees Kurt's face lit up in laughter. He feels like he’s only ever seen Kurt in black and white and now he’s here in sudden colour. He’s electric. Gorgeous. Blaine can’t believe he’s been denied those smile lines this entire time. New life goal: make Kurt Hummel laugh at every opportunity. 

"Listen," he says once they've calmed down. "I'm not mad. I was just confused mostly. But please can we not mention the  _ Incident  _ again."

Kurt sobers immediately, searching Blaine's face. "If that's what you want?"

"It is," Blaine says but Kurt always had made a liar of him. He wants more kisses. But he also wants coffee dates and goodnight texts and midnight chats, two heads on one pillow. He wants to make a complete fool of himself over this man. "It's completely freaking me out." That part is honest at least. 

Kurt nods carefully. "As you wish."

They're staring at each other again but the levity is all gone. It's the Staring Game version 2.0, now starring extra intensity. Blaine feels like he's drowning in blue. He prays for a fire drill. A phone call. Anything. 

He's apparently not alone in hoping for a diversion. 

"So," Kurt's eyes go back to his screen. "How was your... date?" His knuckles are white on his mouse.

"It was good. We have a lot in common." 

"Yes, you're both very irritating" Kurt says seemingly before he can stop himself. "Sorry, what I  _ meant _ to say is.. that sounds magical." He still sounds incredibly sarcastic. 

"You're terrible at this," Blaine accuses mildly. 

"Truce or small talk?" 

"Both." 

Kurt nods. He can't argue with it. "Go on then. What do you have in common?"

"Music. Overbearing fathers. Annoying co-workers." Blaine keeps his face completely straight. "He's surprisingly nice underneath it all. He sent me…"

"Is that what you want then?" Kurt blurts. "Nice?" 

"Isn't that what we all want?" Blaine feels a bubble of hope expand in his chest. They're talking like they're friends. Maybe a really misguided kiss and consequent blow out is all they needed to get over themselves.

"And did Mr. Nice drive you home?" Kurt asks in a would be casual tone. The subtext is obvious though.

"I got a cab home. Alone. Is that OK, dad?"

Kurt shrugs. He looks exhausted. "Ok that's enough of that. What shall we play now?"

"The Friendship Game?" Blaine asks hopefully. 

Kurt rolls his eyes. "I think that would be a waste of time, don't you, Cheddar?" 

"Ouch," Blaine says sarcastically to cover up how serious he really is. The bubble of hope dies. Kurt opens his planner and starts making annotations so quickly that Blaine can't follow it. He's pretty sure there's an X in there somewhere but he's feeling too deflated to focus. If they don't hate each other and they're not friends, what even are they? Will they even talk? Blaine tries to not let it bother him. Tries to persuade himself it's for the best. 

It doesn't quite work.

* * *

"Hot damn," Tina says. "Your man is looking fine today. How do you get any work done?" 

"He's not my man," Blaine protests.

"Knew who I meant though."

It's a week since the Kiss Incident (Blaine is going to need a filing system for all these Incidents soon) and he is absolutely not thinking about it. Or reliving it every single night in bed. Nope.

Tina is also unfortunately right. Kurt is wearing a soft grey v-necked t-shirt and Blaine doesn't think he's ever seen so much of Kurt's skin. His arms. Holy shit. Blaine has always known about the existence of Kurt's arms but never realised they looked like that. The t-shirt clings to his body in a way that should frankly be illegal. Blaine can see every play of muscle as he moves. He can't stop staring. 

"Put your tongue back in," Tina admonishes, so cheerfully loud that people turn to look. Including Kurt. Who smirks. 

"You are The Worst," Blaine hisses and Tina laughs. "I've got to get over there anyway. Take the cash." 

It's paintball day and what with the coach, casual dress and air of excitement, it feels like a school trip. 

"Waivers to me. Cash to Anderson." Kurt is saying. "Waivers. This isn't signed. I'm not being responsible for your lost eye. Sign it. Waivers here."

"Who's Anderson?" someone shouts. 

Blaine rolls his eyes. "That would be me. I'm just Blaine to most people."

Kurt gives him one of those frustrating almost smiles. "Sorry.  _ Blaine. _ " Kurt somehow makes his name sound like the sweetest of endearments and Blaine blushes. He suspects Kurt has done it on purpose and knows someone who's going to be covered in paint soon enough. 

People are in high spirits and, for once, you can't tell who worked where at a glance. It's also a little rowdy. Blaine gets knocked into the bus by a particularly enthusiastic surge of activity and Kurt grabs his shoulder to steady him. 

"Careful, he's only small," Kurt jokes but the look he pins on the perpetrator is nothing short of terrifying. Blaine is so distracted by the feel of Kurt's hand on his shoulder and the accompanying light headed rush that he nearly yelps in surprise when Judith grabs his other elbow. 

"Blaine. Thanks for extending my deadline yesterday. I swear I was in full zombie mode. I need some sleep." She hands him twenty dollars. "I was hoping I could ask another favour actually."

Kurt let's go of his shoulder but Blaine can tell he's still listening. "What is it?" Blaine asks, distracted as he continues to take money. 

"It's my niece. She's only sixteen and needs some work experience. Her school councillor thinks she needs some perspective. You know what teenagers are like. No concept of work." 

"Oh. Well Katy is in charge of that sort of thing. She can set something up. Kids usually want to sit with the design team don't they?"

"No, I want her to do the experience with you."

"Me?" Blaine squeaks. "Why?" For the first time in his life he wishes Kurt would interrupt. 

"Because you're so patient and kind. She's a bit of a brat to be honest. No one else is going to put up with her." 

_ Blaine to Kurt. Intervene and I will literally do anything _ Blaine thinks. Kurt actually glances over at him but just raises his eyebrows. 

"I'll think about it," he says out loud.

"Oh I actually need an answer now. She's supposed to have set something up already," Judith insists. Blaine tries to decide if he actually hates her. Is he about to need a second hand for people he hates? Well he's just removed Kurt so… Not important.

"Well if it's just for a day…"

"It's for two weeks. Thanks Blaine, you're an angel. I'm sure she'll come round." Judith squeezes his hand and runs onto the bus. 

"Motherfucker," Blaine mutters uncharacteristically, quiet enough that only Kurt can hear. Kurt snorts. "I'm going to tell her to get lost later."

"Sure you are. You could have told her to get lost right now. Just say no, Anderson. Just say no."

Blaine is just about to tell  _ Kurt  _ to get lost when Sebastian appears at the end of the line.

"All right, Killer?" Sebastian says, smiling at him. "Kurt," he adds. Kurt's smile is more like a grimace. 

"I thought you were leaving, Sebastian," Kurt says.

"It's my last day today. Do try not to miss me too much."

Kurt mutters something that sounds distinctly insulting. 

"Wanna be team mates, Blaine?" Sebastian asks, turning back to him. 

"Sure," Blaine says at the same time Kurt says "No." That really is his favourite word. 

"Teams are preallocated," Kurt says. "Get on the bus."

"Problem, Kurt?" Sebastian asks silkily. 

"Yes. I don't like you."

"Fun," Sebastian says delightedly. "I don't like you either." 

There is a long moment of unbearable tension until Blaine clears his throat. "We should probably just get on the bus." 

"Well let's at least sit together," Sebastian says to Blaine and then, turning to Kurt, "Surely you're not in charge of seating arrangements as well?" 

As it turns out Kurt is. He's saved two seats at the front with his bag and a pile of clipboards and glares at Sebastian until he acquiesces with poor grace and takes the last other available seat. 

"You're an actual control freak, aren't you?" Blaine says as Kurt muscles him into the window seat. "And seriously what the fuck was all  _ that _ about?"

"I just don't see you two together. You could do better" Kurt murmurs. "I mean who says  _ killer _ . It's weird."

"You don't know anything about him" Blaine points out. He's confused and a bit pleased. But mostly confused. He also feels a bit dizzy. That's odd. "Or much about me to be honest."

"I know you have terrible taste in men." 

_If only you kne_ w Blaine thinks, taking a moment to admire Kurt up close. _Those_ _arms_. He spends a few blissful seconds imagining those arms holding him and… no. Dangerous thoughts. Cease and desist. 

"See something you like?" Kurt says in the exact same tone as Blaine had used on the day of the  _ Incident _ . 

"Yep." 

They share an almost smile again. It's getting kind of weird. This is the most they've spoken since the agreement to down weapons. The meaning of a truce to Kurt seems to involve just leaving Blaine alone. It's peaceful but it does make the days drag. 

Feeling a bit more relaxed, Blaine settles more comfortably into his seat, so his knee presses against Kurt's. Kurt doesn't seem to mind. 

They indulge in the Staring Game for a while until Blaine gets the uncomfortable idea that maybe at this point they're just gazing at each other instead and turns to look out the window. 

"Cheddar?"

Blaine doesn't respond. He's sort of freaking out a bit. It's all just a bit too much too soon. Going from hating each other to whatever the hell is going on now. 

"Cheddar," Kurt says again. 

Blaine sighs, leaning his forehead against the window. It feels heavenly cool against his hot face. "Why do you call me that?"

"Because watching you pretend to hate it is the best part of my day?"

Blaine pointedly does not respond. 

"Come on," Kurt says softly right next to his ear. "Play with me for a second."

"HR," Blaine says automatically and feels the huff of Kurt's laugh against his skin more than hearing it. But he gives in, turning so they're face to face. 

"Are your roses still alive?" Kurt asks. 

Blaine blinks. That was not what he expected. "How do you know about those?”

"Mind reading," Kurt says seriously. "Also Tina."

"Oh good." Blaine is relieved. "My first thought was spy cams. Or a telescope."

"That was your  _ first _ thought? You're a very weird person."

"I wouldn't put anything past you" Blaine mutters. 

"No, I removed the spy cameras when we called the truce."

"Always knew you were a pervert." 

Kurt's lip twitches. "Obviously. You didn't answer my question."

Blaine can feel sweat beading in the small of his back. "No, I had to throw them away this morning."

Kurt takes a breath like he's stealing himself for something but then he frowns, peering closely at Blaine's face. He reaches out to slide a gentle hand over Blaine's cheek. "You're really hot."

"Sweet talker." Blaine shivers. Kurt's hand feels like ice. 

"Are you feeling OK?" 

Blaine feels nauseous and weird and very hot. "I'm feeling fine."

Kurt doesn't look like he believes him but doesn't push it. "OK, well we better address the troops." 

He stands to kneel on his seat and shouts "Oi!" loud enough to get everyone's attention. 

After a bit of murmuring, the bus falls quiet. Blaine kneels on his seat too and gives a small wave. The movement makes him sway slightly, feeling giddy. He feels even more swoopy when Kurt puts a steadying hand on the small of his back, out of sight. 

He tunes out a little as Kurt explains the rules. They'd gone through it all together the previous day. Six different rounds of capture the flag. Teams of four swapped out in between each round. No shooting each other in the face or crotch. There's a bit of mutinous muttering at that one. 

"The point is team building," Kurt says archly. "Not blinding your colleagues."

"Will there be protective clothing?" someone asks. 

"Please hold questions to the end" Kurt barks at the same time as Blaine says, "Yes, goggles."

They pause to glare at each for a moment (old habits die hard) and Blaine hears some laughter. 

"Will you two be on opposite teams?" a voice yells from the back, causing more laughter. Blaine tries to look dignified. He can't let his feud with Kurt tarnish his reputation for the rest of his life. 

"We'll all be on each others team at some point. I'm sure Kurt and I will find some common ground today just like everyone else," Blaine says diplomatically. 

"After the games," Kurt continues like there was no interruption, "we will all have coffee in the on-site café and discuss what we've learned about each other. There will also be a prize for the person who has shown most commitment to the exercise. Which is learning to get along and all that." 

"What's the prize?" several people ask at once. 

"The prize is a free day off at a time of your choosing as long as it's approved by your line manager," Blaine says and he can see the excitement on every face. Day release from prison with no strings attached. They can all get behind that. 

* * *

The first rotation of the day sees Blaine on a team with Kurt, which Blaine is very suspicious about until Kurt shrugs and says, "I promised Isabelle we'd be in a team together." 

Their team mates are Bryan and Fatima. Two  _ Bows _ . Two  _ Ties _ . It's all very civilized. 

"Right, what's the plan?" Bryan booms. He's Australian, about 6ft 2 and has the shoulder width to match. 

"Split up or stick together?" Fatima asks. 

"Stick together," Blaine decides. "We're meant to be bonding after all."

"We could have one person go for the flag and have everyone protect them," Fatima suggests. 

"Great idea," Blaine says as enthusiastically as he can manage. The helmet he is wearing feels like it weighs fifteen pounds. It’s suffocating. “Who should go for it?”

They all turn to look at Kurt, who despite saying nothing so far, feels like he’s in charge. 

“Fatima,” Kurt decides. “And then if she gets shot we’ll go for the flag in height order, starting with the tallest.” Great. That means Bryan, Kurt then Blaine. Blaine will have no protection at all. He’s literal cannon fodder. He should have known Kurt would find a way to screw him over. 

They wait in the starting zone and Fatima seems to sense some of his apprehension or he must just look really ill because she pats him on the back. “Don’t worry, Blaine. We’ll look after you.”

The starting horn sounds and Blaine rushes forward. According to their strategy it makes sense for him to be the forward scout as he's the most expendable. He scrambles up a steep slope on his hands and knees and cautiously peeks over the crest of the hill. 

Fatima sprints past him with a battle cry, arms wind-milling and all sense of strategy and secrecy forgotten. Blaine scrambles up on his knees to try and call her back but there’s a heavy hand on his shoulder pushing him back down. 

“Well there goes that plan. And don’t pop up like that, you’re going to get shot in the face,” Kurt says because of course it’s him. 

"Why do you care?" Blaine grumbles. He tries to get up anyway on a matter of principal but maybe he’s just weak from sickness or Kurt is that strong, because the hand between his shoulder blades feels like an anchor and he only results in squirming uselessly. It’s kind of a turn on. Most awkward place to discover a kink, Blaine decides. 

Kurt is lying next to him now and looking at his face. “Are sure you're feeling OK? You look awful.”

“You always think that,” Blaine points out. 

“What? No I…”

“Quiet!” Blaine hisses. He can hear running footsteps. They both poke up cautiously and spot her at the same time. Judith. Motherfucker and pain in Blaine's ass. 

"I thought I would give you a chance to get some revenge by putting her on the enemy team," Kurt breathes right next to Blaine's ear. Blaine shivers at the closeness of him. "Would you like to do the honours?"

"This is the nicest thing you've ever done for me," Blaine says. It's completely heartfelt. He sees Kurt's smile out of the corner of his eye and hears the mutter of "I can be nice," as he leaps up and open fires. He has no aim to speak of but is successful in catching her on both her knee and shoulder. He resists the urge to keep shooting at her. Barely. He doesn't want to be That Guy. 

He waves at her cheerfully as she leaves the field. 

"Badass," Kurt says, amused. "I guess we should probably try to catch up with the others. We're meant to be bonding after all." 

Fatima is well ahead now, leaping between trees like a tiny but very graceless gazelle. Bryan is gamely keeping pace with her, gun waving wildly in the air. Unfortunately he is a much more obvious target due to his size and Blaine catches up just as Bryan falls dramatically to the floor, a large blob of white paint on his chest. 

He sinks to his knees next to him, casting a quick glance around for the assailant. “Bryan, no!” 

“The bastards got me” Bryan growls. He clutches the front of Blaine’s fatigues “You have to save her, Blaine. Don’t let my death be in vain.”

“I won’t,” Blaine promises. And then they both start laughing. 

“Idiots,” he hears Kurt mutter behind him but his tone is not as scathing as usual. He actually sounds like he’s smiling. Blaine doesn’t have time to check though because Kurt shouts, “Stay down!” and there’s an accompanying crackle of gunfire. 

“Got him,” Kurt says happily, grabbing Blaine’s hand to haul him to his feet. Blaine can’t get used to all this touching. They’ve touched more today that the rest of the time they’ve known each other combined. He sees Marcus from the enemy team leaving the field and Bryan scrambles up to join him. 

“Good luck,” he yells over his shoulder as he leaves. 

Blaine takes off running again, taking Bryan’s ‘dying words’ to heart. He has to get to Fatima. He feels a bit like he wants to keel over but is able to leap behind some barrels with surprising agility when he hears the firecracker popping that means someone is shooting nearby. 

“You’re good,” Kurt calls, where he’s pressed against a nearby tree. It seems that Kurt is determined to be a constant shadow. Blaine finds he doesn't mind that much. 

They’re approaching the flag now and he sees Fatima sprint out from the far left somewhere, eyes fixed on the flag. She’s about thirty yards away when she gets shot unceremoniously shot in the back and yelps in pain. 

“Shit, guess it’s just you and me,” Blaine says to Kurt. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” 

“Great, I’m a dead man” Kurt mutters. He makes the short run into Blaine’s barrel hideout, checking over both their ammo with quick precision. 

“Were your parents in the military?” Blaine asks, watching him. He feels it would explain a lot. His brisk manner, his strict routine, his inability to makes friends easily. Maybe he’s been bounced around from place to place without the opportunity to forge close bonds. 

“No, my dad ran a tire shop,” Kurt says looking a little confused by the question. Then he laughs a little, his eyes far away. “My step-brother was in the army for like two weeks when we were just out of high school but that didn’t last. He was a bit of a klutz.” 

“Was?” Blaine doesn’t mean to ask. It’s a very personal question. But it just kind of comes out. Kurt’s face falls, his eyes turning sad and Blaine immediately feels awful and hurries to apologise. “Sorry, you don’t have to…”

“No, it’s OK,” he says quietly. “He died. When we were nineteen.”

Blaine feels it like Kurt has just punched him in the stomach. His brain instinctively turns to Cooper. They weren’t close when he was nineteen but he still would have been devastated. And now that Cooper is such an essential part of his life? It's… well. Inconceivable. 

“Kurt, I’m so sorry.” Blaine instinctively grabs Kurt’s hand. They look at each other for a few long seconds and Blaine is sure that Kurt glances at his lips. Or maybe he’s just taking in how sick Blaine must look.

The chatter of gunfire nearby remind him of where they are and Kurt blinks, clearly as jolted out of the moment as Blaine. “Ok, bodyguard,” he says, recovering quickly. “Let’s win this.”

They move forward cautiously now that the flag is in sight. Blaine nearly jumps out of his skin when they come up close to the dividing line and two men from the game next to theirs stumble out of the woods very close to them. Then he sees one of them is Sebastian and grins and waves. 

Sebastian winks and lifts a hand in response. Kurt, still at Blaine’s side says “Watch out,” in a complete monotone, raises his gun and fires off two very well aimed shots, hitting Sebastian in the knee and calf.

“Kurt, what the fuck? I’m not against you,” Sebastian shouts. 

“I do apologise, you took me by surprise,” Kurt says with a complete lack of sincerity. Sebastian curses at him and hobbles off, sticking his finger up over his shoulder for good measure. 

Blaine can’t decide whether to be amused or not. “That wasn’t very sportsmanlike,” he chides. 

“I told you, everything happened so fast. I got confused,” Kurt says but his eyes are sparkling with a suppressed smile and Blaine has never wanted to kiss someone so badly in his life. Kurt grabs his hand, because apparently this is something they are doing now, and tugs him forward, staying low. There are about ten yards from the flag and Blaine is glad that it’s going to be over soon. He’s flagging, his face completely soaked with sweat, his curls plastered to his forehead. He’s deeply surprised Kurt wants to touch him at all but Kurt doesn’t say anything scathing about it so Blaine just chalks it up as win. 

They halt behind a wide tree to consider their options. Kurt looks like he’s thinking about just making a run for it but there are still two people alive on the enemy team and he peers around carefully trying to assess the situation. 

“You should go for it” Blaine says. “I’ll cover you.” 

Kurt nods slowly. “OK, I’m putting my life in your hands here.” He’s barely taken a step when the loud crack of a twig makes him start. They both freeze in place, staring around wildly. Blaine sees them first. Rob and Reisha from Accounting hurrying towards them, trying to dodge behind bushes as they go. He drags Kurt behind him and shouts, “Run for it!” at the top of his voice before starting to shoot. 

Reisha is taken by surprise and gets a splatter to her shoulder before she can even get her gun up but Rob kneels down and just opens fire. Blaine feels the paint thudding into his thighs, his stomach and his chest, in quick succession. One completely coats his goggles in paint, blinding him. At least eight shots altogether. It’s complete overkill. He groans in pain. This really hurts. Do people actually do this for fun?

In reaction to the sound, Kurt grabs him around the chest and swings them round neatly. He takes the following shots on his back, huddling around Blaine protectively, his chin pressed to the top of Blaine’s head where Blaine has sagged forward in pain. 

Blaine feels Kurt twist behind him and yell something angrily. The shooting stops. 

“Your whole team is dead, we win!” Rob shouts gleefully. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Kurt cries. “One shot is enough. You could have really hurt him.” 

Blaine feels Kurt’s hands on him, turning him around so they’re pressed chest to chest instead and scrubbing over the paint on his goggles. Kurt’s face appears, peering worriedly down at him. 

“Sorry, Blaine.” Rob looks suitably chagrined. “I’m used to computer games. Got a bit trigger happy.”

Blaine feels winded. And completely defeated. He just failed his one job at getting Kurt to the flag. He’s also overheating horribly with Kurt’s body against his which is why the thank you in his throat kind of turns into a frustrated outburst. “I’m fine, back  _ off _ . You should have just run for it." Blaine needs to breathe and he can’t do that with Kurt so close. 

Kurt's face flashes with hurt but he lets go and takes a few steps back. "Sorry."

Blaine immediately feels like a Major Asshole because he's definitely being one. He hadn't realised how much of Kurt he had been getting all day until now. When he's faced with his default frown. He opens his mouth to try and fix it, but Reisha gets there first.

“Come on,” she says from where she’s hovering nearby. “Let’s go see how the others got on.”

The walk back to home base is awkward. All the ease they had built up over the day is gone. They don’t talk but Blaine is somewhat grateful for that. He can deal with Distant Kurt and Scathing Kurt. He’s not sure what to make of this new Truce Kurt. He's always been able to keep a lid on the part that thought he and Kurt were Meant To Be. That lid is dangerously close to coming off as it is. 

When they reach the start point it’s clear that Blaine isn’t the only one in pain, although he and Kurt are the only ones who look like they've been dipped in paint. There are casualties abound. People are groaning and laughing and dramatically re-enacting exciting moments. 

Sebastian sees him and comes over. “Damn. What happened to you?”

“Rob from Accounting. If you see him, feel free to shoot him for me. Doesn’t have to be on the field.”

“You shall be avenged,” Sebastian promises. 

Blaine pulls off his helmet and goggles and unbuttons the front of his fatigues, trying desperately to cool down. His undershirt is stuck to his skin with sweat. He needs to sit down for a very long time.

Someone presses a water bottle into his hand and Blaine knows it’s Kurt when he hears his voice nearby asking one of the staff for aspirin. “Hold this for me a sec,” Kurt says softly to Blaine, passing him a clipboard. “And drink your water.”

Blaine guzzles it down like he’s never seen any before and Sebastian raises his eyebrows at him. “You OK? Are you sick?”

“I think I might be dying,” Blaine says.

“Ohh Blainey Days.” Tina’s voice comes out of nowhere. “I can take care of you.”

“That's quite all right,” Blaine says quickly. "We all know what happened last time."

“The rumours have been greatly exaggerated,” Tina insists. 

“I was there,” Blaine points out. “Well sort of. I was unconscious.”

“He makes it sound worse than it is,” Tina says to Sebastian and Blaine tunes them out as he glances at the clipboard. 

It’s the teams for the rest of the matches. Kurt has put them together in every rotation, probably at Isabelle’s request. But what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her. She’s safely ensconced in the café with Richard. Blaine is not sure he can deal with anymore of Kurt for one day. His feelings are all over the place. He really just needs a nap. He quickly and carefully swaps some names over so he’s not even in the same game as Kurt for the rest of the day. 

“Get their attention for me, would you?” he asks Sebastian, gesturing at their assembled colleagues. Sebastian gives a piercing whistle that makes Blaine wince but has the desired affect. He reads out the teams for the next game and watches as people start to group up, chatting happily. 

“Cheddar.” It’s Kurt again. “I really think you should sit the rest of the day out. You’re sick. I’ve asked someone to get some medicine for you. I can call you a cab if you want?”

“Sit the rest of the day out and let you get the promotion? I don’t think so.” Blaine knows that today is an audition of sorts. A demonstration on how well he and Kurt can organise their colleagues but also how well they participate. 

“What are you on about?” 

“I know you’re just trying to show me up with how much better you are at organising than me. You’re trying to lure me in by being nice and then BAM, trick me into going home.”

“You are unbelievably frustrating, you know that?” Kurt asks. 

“What do you mean?” Blaine’s head is fuzzy. Thinking is hard.

“Just… think about my actions today as if I was someone else for a second. Not someone you don’t like.”

“I don’t not like you,” Blaine says somewhat nonsensically. 

Kurt shakes his head. “Never mind. I’ll see you later.” He takes his clipboard back and looks at it for a moment. “Or not I guess.”

He walks away.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: vomit. I don't think it's particularly graphic but Blaine is sick so it's ongoing through the chapter.
> 
> This chapter was getting stupidly long again so I've split in two, perhaps a little awkwardly but it means I get it out quicker so hopefully you'll forgive me!

Blaine is not sure how he makes it through the afternoon but at the same time it passes in a flash. He has to admit to himself that Kurt had a good idea with the paintballing. Everyone is having far too much fun to remember they hate each other. He sees Bows' and Ties' protecting each other, laughing together and getting to know one another. What with that and Kurt's behaviour today, he may as well have stumbled into a parallel universe. 

The activity also lends itself to some wonderful drama, which the theatre kid in him really appreciates. 

He shoves Jane into a fox hole and crouches over her, gun blaring as red paint rains from above. 

He becomes the field sergeant and shouts "move move move!" as his entire team sprints at the flag from different directions, pellets churning up the ground at their feet. 

One particularly hard earned victory on the fifth game sees him picking up tiny Bernadette like a trophy as the entire team roars their victory. He puts her down and very nearly throws up on her face. He manages to wait until they're on the way back to divert off the path slightly and throw up in a bush. 

He only sees Kurt at base camp and they don't really talk. Kurt does manage to coax Blaine into taking some aspirin after the second game and, judging by the constant stream of water bottles Tina brings him, has instructed her to keep him hydrated. Apart from that they avoid each other. Or rather, Blaine feels that Kurt is avoiding him and Blaine should probably want to do the same. He can't stop himself looking for Kurt at every opportunity though.

Even on the field, where he knows they don't have any games together he keeps imagining he sees the line of Kurt's back or the flash of blue-green eyes only to realise it's someone else. He hopes it's just wishful thinking and not that he has to add hallucinations to his growing list of symptoms. 

He all but collapses into his seat when they finally make it to the after game coffee. 

Then he stands up again when he realises he's supposed to be running this thing. 

"Thanks everyone for your great effort today," he announces. He puts a careful hand on the wall next to him to combat the dizziness. "But there can only be one winner, to be decided by Isabelle and Richard. If you would like to nominate someone that you feel went above and beyond, please stand up and state your case."

There's a bit of shuffling and embarrassed glances until Kurt stands up and says, "If the person you nominate wins, you will get a $30 Amazon voucher."

That hadn't been agreed but the stories start to pour in after that so Blaine can't be bothered to be mad about it. He's sure Isabelle will pay it. He gladly lets the chatter fade into white noise as he curls up in his chair and resists the urge to close his eyes. That is until he hears his name. 

"Blaine just shoved this guy behind him and took like 10 bullets to the chest in order to try and save him." Reisha is saying. “It looked really painful.”

"Sorry," Rob interjects guiltily. 

"And to my shock, I see the guy he is protecting is none other than Kurt Hummel," Reisha continues. There's a big laugh at that, as well as the exchange of some significant looks and nudges. "But it gets even better. Because Rob keeps on shooting and so Kurt spins them round to stop Blaine taking anymore shots. They both protected each other." Reisha claps her hands together in pure girlish delight. Blaine suspects she reads a lot of romance novels. 

He glances up at where Kurt is sitting across the room in time to see him run a nervous hand through his hair. For some reason it’s Kurt’s obvious discomfort that spurs Blaine into action, not his own. 

"I guess we've all learned something today," he says sagely like it's the end of a bad after school special. "Even insurmountable hatred can be surmounted by the promise of a free day off." Everyone claps and cheers and the focus moves on. 

Eventually the prize is awarded to Kelly and Blaine sighs in relief at the thought of his bed, now only an hour away. 

The car park is a mess. Isabelle and Richard zoom off in their own cars immediately. Some people are being picked up and others are piling into the coach. Blaine takes one look at it and knows he's not going to be able to do it. 

"Please could you wait a few minutes?" he asks the driver calmly and walks back into the building. He reaches the toilet just in time to throw up for the second time that day. He rests his face on the cold porcelain seat and prays for death. 

He isn't sure how much time has passed when he hears a knock on the door. It sounds as irritable as a knock could possibly sound so Blaine assumes it's Kurt. 

"Go away," Blaine shouts. 

"It's Kurt."

"I know. That does not change my previous response. I'll get home by myself, just go."

It goes quiet and Blaine assumes Kurt has gone back to the coach. Which he absolutely cannot hold up any longer. He splashes cold water on his face and gives himself a quick mental pep talk. 

When he walks out of the restroom, Kurt is leaning against the wall, waiting. 

"Shit, you look terrible," Kurt says. Blaine doesn't even bother with a witty retort. He knows he does. 

"I don't think I can do it. The bus," Blaine admits. 

"Do you want me to call Dickhead for you? He can't have gotten far. He could come back and get you." 

"Oh God no. I'd rather walk than spend an extra second with that douche."

After a tentative, hovering moment, Kurt gently takes Blaine’s arm and steers him back towards the car park. "I won't let it come to that. I could go back on the coach and then drive out and get you. But that would take an hour at least." He bites his lip in thought. 

"Wait for you to come and get me? I'd be waiting all night."

"I'm going to let that pass because you're sick," Kurt says, side eyeing him. "But word of advice. Don't piss off the guy that's trying to help you. I would just call a cab but it will take forever at this time of evening."

As soon as they get out the front again, Tina rushes forward. "Blaine you really should let me take you home after we get back. I can look after you. No more incidents I promise."

"While your soup is an amazing cure all, Tina, I think I just want to be by myself," Blaine says. Tina is great. But also more than a little overbearing as a nursemaid. 

"How are you getting home though?" she demands. "You can't drive like this." 

"Car's in the shop anyway," Blaine breathes. He's leaning heavily on Kurt now, barely caring that he’s in full sight of everyone on the coach. 

"I'm driving him," Kurt says. "But," he adds dropping his voice and speaking directly into Blaine's ear, "I think you're going to have to brave the coach back to work, sweetheart. Think you can manage?"

Blaine registers the endearment dimly like it's being said to someone else. He must nod or acknowledge the question in some way because the next thing he knows, he's on the coach with Kurt beside him. 

The journey is nothing short of hell. Every stop and start sends his stomach churning. Every turn makes his head swim alarmingly. Kurt doesn't talk to him for which he's grateful. He's not sure he could open his mouth without throwing up. Kurt does keep a solid arm around his shoulder. It's hot but stops the worst of the jostling so Blaine leans into it gratefully, for once not stopping to question why Kurt is being so nice to him. 

Once they're at work, Kurt faces another confrontation, this time involving Sebastian. There's a lot of hissed back and forth between the two men with Tina appearing to try and mediate, if unsuccessfully. Blaine just leans against Kurt's car where Kurt has deposited him and doesn't say anything until Sebastian turns to him. 

"Are you sure you want _him_ to take you home?" 

Blaine just nods tiredly. He's desperate to go home. Kurt wants to take him. And will then leave him alone. Sounds like a win to him. 

Sebastian and Tina finally leave and by this time the car park has emptied around them. 

"Sorry," Kurt murmurs. "I'm just trying to get you into bed and there's all these interruptions."

"Kurt, no!" Blaine protests. "I'm gross. You should wait til I'm better to get me into bed." So apparently he vomited up his filter, that's good to know. 

"Noted," Kurt says dryly. He's opened the passenger door and is trying to manhandle Blaine into the seat but Blaine is clinging to him and just being largely uncooperative. "Work with me here, Cheddar. You're heavier than you look."

"Rude," Blaine mumbles but allows himself to fall gracelessly into the seat. Kurt belts him in like he's a child and then walks around to his side. 

"Do you think you're going to be sick in my car?" he asks patiently once he's in. 

Blaine thinks for a moment and then just shrugs. Kurt rummages and then pulls out a takeaway coffee cup from his door pocket. 

"Just try and aim for this, OK?" He pulls out of the car park and then something seems to occur to him. "You're going have to tell me where to go."

"You can go to hell!" Blaine shouts gleefully. He's a mess. 

"So that's where you’re from."

"Hush, go left." Blaine directs Kurt to his apartment building and by focussing on his breathing is able to make it without vomiting. In the car. He does have a bit of a moment behind a pillar in his apartment car park with Kurt rubbing soothing circles into his back. 

"Thanks, I've got it from here," Blaine says more bravely than he feels. 

"Anderson, you can barely stand," Kurt points out, looping an arm around Blaine's waist to help him walk.

"No shhh. Less Anderson, more Cheddar. Or sweetheart. I like that one." It doesn’t occur to him to ask to be called Blaine at this point. 

"OK, sweetheart," Kurt murmurs right next to his ear. And Blaine never knew his ears were a thing but God does he get the shivers every time Kurt puts his mouth there. Or maybe that's just the fever. 

With some effort, Kurt manages to get him into the elevator and prop him up against the wall. 

"Don't get any ideas," Blaine says. Filter is still well and truly not present. "We all know what happened last time."

"I think I can resist, Sicky McGee," Kurt drawls. He's stepped away from Blaine to stretch and Blaine is treated to a sliver of skin at his hip. 

"You look good today," Blaine says barely listening. "You should wear t-shirts more often." 

"Really?" Kurt looks down at himself. “It’s just a t-shirt.”

“Yes but… arms,” Blaine says happily and Kurt gives him one of those infamous almost smiles. 

“Well you look good today too.” 

“You don’t need to humour me. I know I’m a sweaty, dysfunctional mess.”

“And yet even as a sweaty, dysfunctional mess, you still take my breath away.” Kurt’s tone is a little teasing but his expression is soft so Blaine just grins stupidly. Something about the wording Kurt had just used is tugging at Blaine’s memory but he can’t place it. And then the elevator is at his floor and Kurt is gently guiding him forward again and Blaine sinks into him gratefully. 

Somehow Kurt has Blaine’s keys, pulled from his pocket without him even noticing, and gets the door open. Blaine lurches into his apartment like a drunkard, going to his kitchen sink and guzzling water straight from the tap. 

“I think I should try an after hours doctor,” Kurt says, toying with his phone. "I'm worried about you."

“I just need sleep,” Blaine says. “Thanks for making sure I didn’t die. But I’m good now.”

“Do you want me to call anyone?” 

Blaine thinks of Cooper but then shakes his head. “No. I just want to collapse.”

Kurt takes a step towards the door. “I’m going to at least see what I can get you from the drug store. Will you be alright for a bit?” 

“Yes Kurt, I am 28 years old. I am capable of undressing myself. Thank you,” he ushers Kurt towards the door. 

“Go sit down,” Kurt orders. “I’ll be back.” 

“Yeah yeah, see you Monday.”

The door shuts behind him with a quiet click and Blaine is blissfully alone. He peels off his sweaty clothes right there in the entry way, sighing gratefully when cool air hits his fevered skin. He staggers into the bedroom and looks longingly at his bed but decides he can’t bear getting into bed whilst this disgusting, so hobbles off to the shower instead. 

He thinks he’s just going to get in, get clean and get out but once he’s standing in the shower, he just kind of melts against the wall in pure relief. His stomach and chest are a mess of slowly darkening bruises that are painful to touch, but the warm water feels soothing. He still feels like he’s dying but at least he can die clean. 

He takes care to wash the gel out of his hair but can’t be bothered with the rest of his routine. He just lets his mind wander. 

It doesn’t wander very far. It just gets to Kurt and then kind of stops there. Kurt who’s been so kind and patient all day. Who shielded him with his own body when he groaned with pain. Who has brought him home with care and attention. Who Blaine has actively insulted at least a few times today and now feels bad about it in hindsight. Kurt has changed the game and Blaine doesn’t have the rulebook. 

He thinks again of Kurt pushing him down to the ground, the irresistible press of his hand. He thinks about Kurt doing that in bed. Pressing Blaine down and holding him still while he fingers Blaine open, whispering endearments and dirty talk into his ear as he does so. Blaine’s hand drifts down to his cock which is starting to show some interest in proceedings. 

“Alive?” Kurt shouts from somewhere nearby and Blaine actually shrieks in surprise. 

“Did you steal my keys?” is all he can think to shout back. “Also don’t come in. I’m naked.” And still a little aroused, he thinks. 

“Duh.” 

Blaine finishes in the shower and walks out of the room, wrapped in a towel. Kurt has made himself scarce in the lounge so Blaine quickly pulls on some sleep shorts. He thinks about going to ask Kurt why he's come back but, in his desperation to sleep, the bed almost appears to be bathed in a welcoming golden glow. He'll just sit down for a moment. Then talk to Kurt.

He face plants his bed without grace and falls asleep almost instantly. 

* * *

He wakes to hands on his back and it’s so much like his fantasy for a moment that he actually groans out loud before reality crashes in. 

“Cheddar? Are you OK?” Kurt asks. “Sorry I didn’t want to wake you but you need to take these.” He helps Blaine sit up and Blaine just blinks at him blearily. Kurt is outlined from the light spilling in from the lounge and he is so unfairly beautiful that it makes Blaine feel even more foggy than ever. 

“Are you an angel?” he accuses. 

“Hope not. Because that means you would be dead.” Kurt presses some pills and water into his hands. Blaine takes the offered pills obediently, without questioning it. If Kurt wanted to kill him, he would have had ample opportunity while he was unconscious. He slumps down onto the bed. 

Kurt puts a hand on his forehead and frowns. “You’re still very hot.”

Blaine leans into the coolness of his hand. “Cooper used to do this too when I was a kid. It’s not a scientific method you know?” 

“Cooper?”

“My brother. He’s nine years older than me. I was somewhat of a surprise.”

“And he used to take care of you when you were sick? That’s nice.” Kurt’s hand has gone from his forehead to his hair, stroking through it almost absently. 

“Yeah. I mean…” Blaine hesitates. It sounds a bit pathetic to say that his parents were never very interested in doing it. It's fair to say his parents were Distant. Not awful. Just disinterested. "As best he could. He always used to put on The Princess Bride and feed me ginger ale." Blaine smiles fondly at the memory. "Did your mom do stuff like that?"

"My mom died when I was eight. But I do remember that she used to sing to me when I was ill. It's one of my clearest memories of her actually. That and mac and cheese. She used to make it a lot and, then when she died, it was the only thing my dad knew how to make."

"I love mac and cheese," Blaine says enthusiastically. "It's the ultimate comfort food."

Kurt smiles. "Yeah, it's my favorite. It always makes me think of home. My dad always said…” He hesitates.

“What?" Blaine prompts. God, he likes talking to Kurt like this. It feels so easy. Probably because he currently has no shame. But Kurt is talking nicely to him. He'll take what he can get. 

“Well… he always said my mom was the cheese to his macaroni. And I always thought that was really lame. Like shouldn't she be something more exciting? But as I grew up I started to understand it. My mom was warmth and comfort and home for him. I've always wanted to find that. The cheese to my macaroni." He looks at Blaine. 

"Kurt Hummel, are you secretly a romantic?"

"It's not actually a secret," Kurt says. "I'm really just a silly old romantic."

"It's not silly. But I don't think romantics pounce on people in elevators."

"You make it sound awful. There was no pouncing. I approached slowly and with deliberate broadcasting of my intentions."

"I know, and I'm sorry I reacted so badly," Blaine says. "To the kiss I mean. I thought you were trying to kill me."

"Wow, I must be really out of practice.”

"No, shh I mean at first. Then I realised. Kissing. It's been a while since I kissed someone. But it was good. Really good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Blaine thinks for a moment."Do you think Isabelle and the Dick ever make out in the elevator?"

If Kurt is thrown by the subject change, he doesn't show it. "Undoubtedly. They probably have vicious hate sex after every quarterly meeting." 

"So is hate sex like a real thing then because I was thinking about this?"

"Dare I ask why?" 

Blaine laughs. "No reason."

Kurt smiles. "You're fun when you're sick."

"I'm always fun," Blaine sniffs. "You've just never taken the time to appreciate me." He yawns widely. 

"And for that I am deeply sorry," Kurt says with surprising sincerity. "But you should get some sleep now." 

Blaine is going to protest but Kurt starts to hum softly, his hand still in Blaine's hair. Something sweet and familiar from childhood that Blaine can't quite place. He lets his eyes flutter shut. 

“You know if you’re this desperate to stay, I won’t stop you,” he murmurs, like he’s doing Kurt a massive favour. He’s sure Kurt sees right through him. 

“Of course I’ll stay,” Kurt says and then Blaine is asleep. 

* * *

Blaine wakes up to vomit and Kurt is already there, holding a plastic bowl in front of his face, cradling his head, taking the weight, making soothing noises. 

“This is disgusting” Blaine manages between heaves. “I’m so sor-” 

“Shhh,” Kurt murmurs. “Let me take care of you.”

Blaine falls asleep, with Kurt gently wiping his face with something cool and damp. 

The clock shows it’s nearly 2am when he surfaces again and he jerks away in fright at the feel of weight in the bed next to him. 

“It’s just me,” Kurt says. Blaine wonders when that became something reassuring. Kurt is sat up against the headboard, reading the book that had been on Blaine's bedside table. 

“I’m cold,” Blaine complains, trying to curl into Kurt’s body. 

“You’re not, sweetheart. You have a fever.”

“Cold,” Blaine insists. His bladder is giving him more urgent things to worry about though. He groans and drags himself out of bed to go and use the bathroom. He leaves the door ajar and it only occurs to him once he’s done that Kurt has definitely just heard him piss. Oh well, just add it to the list of mortifying moments. Nothing else for it but to fake his own death and move to another city once all this is over. 

He takes a while at the sink, splashing water on his face and brushing his teeth to get rid of the residual sick feeling. When he emerges from the bathroom, Kurt is in the middle of changing his sheets. He tries not to think about the fact that Kurt probably rummaged through his closet in order to find them or that he’s touching Blaine’s sweat soaked sheets. Instead, he focusses on Kurt’s ass as he bends over. He’s sick not dead. 

“How are you feeling?” Kurt asks, pulling back the comforter so that Blaine can crawl back in. 

“Just peachy,” Blaine groans. “You?”

Kurt settles in next to him, on top of the covers and presses a hand to Blaine’s forehead again. “I’d feel better if you would just cool down a little.”

Blaine reaches up to touch Kurt's forehead too because fair only seems fair. Kurt feels the temperature that Blaine should probably want to be. He slides his hands down to cup Kurt's face, his thumbs sliding over Kurt's cheekbones. 

Kurt just sits there patiently, letting him touch. Blaine remembers thinking about choking him on more that one occasion, and flushing slightly, moves his hand to Kurt's throat. He doesn't press down, just rests it there, feeling Kurt swallow. 

"Are you going to kill me, Cheddar?" Kurt asks quietly, looking at his from under his lashes. He's smiling and Blaine uses his free hand to trace over those gorgeous smile lines.

"I've got you right where I want you," Blaine says. He gives a very weak impression of a maniacal laugh. 

"Ah the old sick and helpless routine. Gets 'em every time."

"They said I was no good but you wouldn't listen." Blaine realizes he is making no sense but Kurt is just looking at him and grinning so he can't mind too much. "I would very much like to kiss you right now," Blaine says matter of factly. And seriously where is his brain to mouth function? He would very much like it back. "But I will save you from my disease. And my sicky mouth."

"Probably for the best," Kurt agrees, his voice a mere breath against Blaine's lips. And Blaine didn't realize he'd actually pulled Kurt closer until that moment. "You would probably regret is once you're no longer delirious and doped up on pain medication." 

"Probably," Blaine nods. He doesn't move. After a long moment of sharing breaths, Kurt gently extracts Blaine's hands from his face and gets him lying back down again. 

"Go back to sleep," Kurt says. "I'll be here."

"Why?" Blaine wonders aloud. He's already halfway asleep when Kurt answers. 

"You know why, Cheddar."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments. I am thankful for every one 😍
> 
> Warning: there's still mentions of vomit

Blaine wakes up not much time later with a strange man standing over him, wearing plastic gloves. He yells in surprise, scrambling upright too suddenly and having to fight the wave of nausea that follows. 

"Shh it's OK," Kurt's voice says in his ear and Blaine automatically moves towards him and straight into his lap. He burrows his face into Kurt's neck and he feels Kurt suck in a breath. 

"Are you selling me to kidnappers? My parents don't have much ransom money," he rambles.

"What? Of course not," Kurt says and it's probably the fever but Blaine thinks he sounds almost unbearably fond. 

"I see what you mean. Definitely delirious," says the stranger, sounding amused. "Blaine? My name's Hugo. I'm a doctor and Kurt's friend. Can you tell me about your symptoms?"

"Um… fever?" Blaine says. He's just woken up and has no clue what's going on. He looks at Kurt who squeezes him reassuringly and takes over. 

"Seemed OK in the morning. Maybe a bit flushed and unfocussed. Visibly sweaty by midday and his eyes looked a bit weird which is how I noticed. He was sick at about five-ish? Plus a few times since. And he's got a really high temperature."

Hugo hums. "Can you put this in your mouth please Blaine?" Blaine turns from the safety of Kurt's neck to eye Hugo suspiciously. But he takes the offered thermometer. 

"104.8 degrees," Hugo says after a minute. "You were right to call." Blaine glances nervously at Kurt's face. "Not that I think it's anything life threatening. Blaine, can you sit up and face me a little more? You can stay there if you want."

Blaine does want. Kurt shifts underneath him, moving him so he's sat between Kurt's thighs with his back pressed against the solid comfort of Kurt's chest. He's like a human armchair.

Blaine winces as Hugo feels his glands with gloved hands and groans aloud in pain when the hands move to his abdomen. 

"Woah, what happened here?" Hugo asks noting the bruises, hissing out a sympathetic breath. 

"Paintball at work. Someone got carried away. Even mine aren’t this bad." Kurt strokes down Blaine's arms comfortingly. "Poor, Cheddar," he adds as a breath in Blaine's ear. 

Hugo hums and finishes his examination in silence. Blaine let’s himself be distracted by the soothing stroke of Kurt’s hands on his arms, sinking into the feel of being safely surrounded. 

"Well, it could be food poisoning. But I'm fairly certain it's just stomach flu or a similar virus,” Hugo declares. “These things are usually unpleasant but are over quickly. He should be fine by the evening, otherwise the next day. If not, call me again, preferably not in the middle of the night." He grins to take any sting away. "In the meantime, just keep doing what you're doing. Keep him resting and hydrated. You've done well, Kurt."

"That's all it is?" Kurt asks, sounding relieved. 

Hugo grins. "That's all it is. Well, thank you, Blaine. I'll get out of your way now. Let you get some sleep. You too, Kurt. "

"I'm just going to see Hugo out, Cheddar," Kurt says into his hair. Blaine protests, snuggling into the loose embrace Kurt has him wrapped in. He's definitely sweating all over Kurt and it's probably gross, but he feels so comfortable. Kurt gives him a little squeeze. "I'll be right back."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Blaine let's Kurt extricate himself and flops back onto the bed, idly listening to Hugo and Kurt's conversation as they leave the bedroom. 

"Thanks so much, Hugo. I'm sorry for dragging you out in the middle of the night. I was just…"

"Worried?" Hugo asks kindly. "Perfectly understandable. But you've done all the right things. He'll be fine."

“I know it’s stupid. But ever since my dad deteriorated so quickly, I’m just wary of ignoring any symptoms. Even if they seem like nothing.”

“I know, Kurt,” Hugo, squeezing his shoulder. “You can call me any time. You know that.”

"I owe you a dinner. You and Rachel. My treat," Kurt insists. They pause just outside the door. 

"Well I won't turn that down" Hugo says, patting his stomach. "But we do have another problem." His voice turns stern. 

"What's that?"

"Rachel's already done the seating chart for the wedding and she said you weren't bringing a plus one."

"Because I'm not," Kurt says, confused. “I mean, I’m going to keep Carole company.”

"But why wouldn't you bring Blaine?"

"He's not my _boyfriend,_ " Kurt says, lowering his voice. Blaine can still hear perfectly well though and feels bad, like this isn't something he should overhear. "We just work together."

"Kurt." Hugo's voice is incredulous. "You’re here in the middle of the night fretting over a _colleague_? No.”

"But also yes. If we're talking about reality. I’m just a very caring person. Obviously." 

"OK,” Hugo says slowly. “I'm going to put you down for a plus one."

"Hugo."

"You've got a few months. I'm sure you'll work it before then."

They walk towards the front door, still bickering and their voices become inaudible. Blaine lies back. He feels distantly disappointed. Of course, he knows intellectually that he and Kurt are just people that work together. That is how he would describe them too, to someone else. But...

Kurt returns a few minutes later, holding a glass of water and looking exhausted. 

"You came back," Blaine announces, so delightedly that Kurt grins. 

“Of course. Now drink your water. Stay hydrated. Doctor’s orders.”

“You didn’t have to drag your friend out of bed in the middle of the night, just to check on me,” Blaine says quietly. “I’m really OK.” Ish. He feels like he’s been hit by a truck. But aside from that. 

“It’s fine. That man is marrying my best friend Rachel. If he can deal with her, he can deal with any other of life’s minor obstacles, trust me. Anyway, your temperature was worrying me. And you said you wanted to kiss me earlier. I had all kinds of concerns.”

Blaine considers this for a moment and then pats the bed, an obvious invitation that Kurt takes, curling up on top of the covers and facing him. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” he asks, after a long pause. 

“There’s nothing going on.”

“Well there is. Because I don’t like being sick -”

“I know.”

“But at least you’re being nice to be. When this is all over are you just going to go back to hating me?”

“Blaine. No. Of course not. I don’t hate you.”

Blaine splutters at the audacity of this lie. “You have a funny way of showing it. I feel so lonely you know. It starts to sit heavy after a while. And honestly? Life’s too short.”

“I know,” Kurt agrees quietly. “I’m sorry. For basically everything. I just feel like I’ve gone about everything in such a terrible way.”

“What do you mean?”

"It's probably a conversation to have when you're not crazy with fever."

Blaine kind of wants to push the issue but to be honest, he really isn’t at his best right now. Who knows what’s going to come out of his mouth? So he just nods in agreement and contents himself with cupping Kurt’s face again, unable to resist touching him. Kurt shivers, his hand reflexively closing over Blaine’s. 

"Are you going to go to sleep?" Blaine asks. “You look tired.” His eyes feel heavy already. It's annoying not being able to stay awake for more than twenty minutes at a time. 

"Yeah. I'll go to the couch once you're asleep, don't worry."

"No. Don't do that," Blaine says, hooking an arm around Kurt's waist and snuggling in. He is going to be seriously embarrassed by this whole thing when he gets his ability to think back. But he's a cuddly person at the best of times and, at bad times like this, he's considerably worse. 

"You want me to stay here?" 

"Right here," Blaine says into Kurt's shoulder.

"As you wish."

"You know that means 'I love you' in _The_ _Princess Bride,_ right?" Blaine informs him sleepily. He closes his eyes. 

"Does it?" Kurt's tone is completely innocent. 

"I'm gonna start getting ideas," Blaine murmurs. Kurt chuckles lightly and strokes Blaine's hair. 

"Well for now, rest well and dream of large women."

Blaine smiles. God, he loves that movie. 

* * *

"Blaine! Little bro? Where are you?"

Blaine groans as he wakes. A quick glance at the clock shows it's barely 7am which would be awful on any weekend and is just inexcusable now. 

He blinks the world into focus. Kurt is lying next to him still, having kept his promise, but isn’t touching him. He looks like he's been dozing against the headboard in what seems to be an incredibly uncomfortable position. He's already sitting up, far more alert than Blaine, who still feels like shit. 

The door to the bedroom bursts open and Cooper stands there looking a mixture of worried and annoyed. 

"Blaine, thank God. I thought you'd _died_."

"Nope," Blaine says helpfully. 

Cooper seems to realise he's not alone. "Wait, did you stand up our call last night to get laid? Because if so… hypocrite is all I'm going to say."

Blaine winces. He'd completely forgotten to text Cooper. "That's not what happened. I'm sick," he says at the same time Kurt says, "No. We're not like that. We're…"

"Oh. You must be Just-friends-Sebastian." 

"Ew no," Kurt says. And then to Blaine, "Wait, are you and Sebastian just friends?"

Blaine wants to die. Cooper laughs. 

"Oh my God. Wait. Is this Kurt-the-guy-who-hates-you, Kurt?"

Blaine was wrong before. _Now_ he wants to die. 

"No!" Kurt protests again. "I mean probably, actually. Am I?" He directs the last part at Blaine. 

"I may have used those words." Blaine is melting with embarrassment. Why on earth did he give Cooper a key? 

"Sorry, who are you?" Kurt asks Cooper, seeing that Blaine is no use to anyone right now. 

"Oh, right. I just assume everyone knows who I am. I'm Cooper. The more handsome and talented brother."

"Well I can only speak for the handsome part, but I have to disagree," Kurt says, his gaze shifting over to Blaine and smiling softly. Blaine blushes for a very different reason. 

Cooper is positively gleeful. "Of course you do! And don't worry about my little brother. He's really oblivious but he'll come around. I've been working on him."

"I'm right here," Blaine manages weakly. 

"I'll let you two talk," Kurt says. "Coffee, Cooper?"

"Would love one," Cooper says. He doesn't even wait for Kurt to completely leave the room before he says, "He doesn't seem awful to me." Kurt smirks over his shoulder as he disappears into the kitchen. 

"What is wrong with you?" Blaine hisses. "Actually, don't worry. We don't have time to unpack that right now."

"Har har har," Cooper says drily. "Seriously, can we just skip to me saying 'I told you so' twelve times. You've got heart eyes you could see from _space_."

"Ugh, Cooper. It's awful. I'm probably going to blurt out something awkward any moment. I have no filter. I've already accused him of loving me through the vague allegory of _The Princess Bride_ and told him I want to kiss him. There's no telling what's going to come out of my mouth."

Cooper blinks in confusion but softens slightly. "Sorry, squirt, I'll save the torment for when you're feeling better. Sick huh?"

"Stomach flu," Blaine says, sounding as pathetic as he feels. 

"Wow, Kurt must really like you. To put up with actual vomit."

"Maybe," Blaine says softly. "Or he's just gathering a lot of blackmail material." 

"Do you do this on purpose? I mean, I could kind of understand why you didn't realise that Tina chick was in love with you for six months because she is a girl. Not your area of expertise. But Kurt is a dude. That has literally been looking after you all night. I assume."

"I mean yes he has but..."

"But nothing, moron. Look, I'm meant to be at rehearsals in an hour but I can call and cancel if you need me. _Or_ I can ask Kurt to stay until this evening." He waggles his eyebrows. 

"Well…" Blaine says slowly, pretending to think. "Kurt is much prettier than you."

"That's what I thought. I'll see you later. Don't do anything I wouldn't do and all that."

"Not much danger of that. I'm disgusting."

"I don't think Kurt thinks so. You're not the only with heart eyes you know?" 

Cooper winks at him and disappears off into the kitchen. Blaine lets his eyes close and the sound of Kurt and Cooper's distant chatter and laughter drift over him. Cooper is probably telling some really embarrassing stories. He can't seem to mind too much though. 

Kurt thinks he's the more handsome brother. Kurt has heart eyes for _him_. Maybe. If Cooper is to be believed. Which he usually isn't. But maybe just this once…

* * *

He must drift off because the next thing he knows the light has changed to the bright warmth of mid-afternoon. He feels significantly better and doesn't need a thermometer to know his fever has broken. 

It takes a few minutes to order his thoughts but with the return of his higher reasoning comes the even more abrupt return of vulnerability. 

Kurt isn't in the room, but he can hear the quiet sound of the piano drifting through from the lounge so assumes he must still be here. Blaine literally clasps his hands over his face like he can suppress the overwhelming humiliation. He'd told Kurt how lonely he was, how he wanted to kiss him. He had clung to Kurt like he was a life raft. Kurt had been witness to many unsavoury bodily functions. Not to mention whatever Cooper might have said. _Fuuuuuck_ . Kurt has so much power over him now. He won't let Blaine forget about this for _years._

He's spiralling so completely that it takes him a moment to realise what Kurt is playing on the piano and only then because Kurt has started singing along. It's Blaine's new song. Where he has helpfully written the melody and accompaniment on the same sheet music and left it on the piano. The song he had written for… _holy shit_. 

Blaine scrambles to his feet, gets the sheets wrapped around his legs and nearly crashes to the floor. 

_Falling in love_

_Was another foolish thing_

_That I never really needed_

_But you were the first to change my mind_

Kurt's voice is beautiful as he sings along, though hearing it from a third person perspective reaffirms Blaine's instinct that the melody isn't quite where he wants it yet. Which isn't the point right now 

_You're knocking me off of my horse_

_And here I lay, fallen and defeated_

_And I'd leave it all behind_

_For this foolish thing of mine_

Blaine skids into the room and Kurt nearly jumps out of his skin at the sudden intrusion. 

"Cheddar! You scared me."

"What are you doing?" Blaine tries to keep his voice level but his music is so deeply personal to him and this song in particular… 

"Sorry, did I wake you? I was just messing around on the piano. I'm a bit rusty to be honest."

"Um no…you didn't." Blaine isn't sure what to say. He wants to get Kurt away from the piano. Away from the song that's been written for _him_. God, this is worst case scenario territory. 

Kurt stands up and comes over, evidently confused as to why Blaine is standing halfway across the room when he's been practically glued to Kurt up until now. He reaches up to touch Blaine's forehead and Blaine jerks back instinctively, too agitated to understand, just for a moment, what's happening. Kurt's expression goes carefully blank. 

"Feeling better?" he asks. 

Blaine nods. "Much. Thanks."

"Can I?" Kurt gestures to his face and this time Blaine allows the touch. He has to resist the urge to sink into it. "You do feel much cooler, that's good. Hugo did say it would probably only be 24 hours." 

"Yeah. You really didn't have to do all this" Blaine says awkwardly. "I mean thanks for giving up half your weekend but you can go now." 

"Oh," Kurt says and he looks troubled. "I can stay. If you want?"

God, Kurt pities him. It's so obvious. Blaine kind of wants to take back everything he said last night but it's all a bit of a confusing mixture right now. "No. Really. I just want you to go so I can… get human again."

"Right. I'll just go then. If you don't want anything else." Kurt's looking at him with big eyes but Blaine has no idea what the expression means. It's never been this awkward between them. Even when they argued there was a comfortable ebb and flow to their conversation. Now it just feels stilted and awful. 

He looks at Kurt. Sleep rumbled and exhausted but still effortlessly gorgeous. Kurt's hands fit Blaine's hips perfectly, he knows that now. He knows what Kurt's face feels like cupped in his hands. He knows the taste of Kurt's mouth. And he _wants_.

"You've got your horny eyes on. You must be feeling better," Kurt says drily. Neither of them has moved, despite Kurt's acknowledgement that he'll leave. 

"Don't be mean. I'm sick," Blaine says primly.

Blaine practically frog marches Kurt to the door. He stops himself from wrapping Kurt up in a hug and begging him to stay. He still has some pride. Maybe. Somewhere. It’s just that he's had 12 solid hours of Kurt's touch and now he craves it like a smoker gone cold turkey. While he was feeling ill, he didn't have any problem just taking the comfort that he needed, but now in the cold light of day he feels clingy and ridiculous. 

"You won't tease me about this on Monday, will you?" Blaine asks. He's seen a softer side to Kurt now. There's a kind and patient soul under the prickly exterior. But he doesn't know what he'll get come Monday. Back in the office. Back to their normal battlefield and away from the weird bubble they've created here.

"I won't even mention it if you don't want." Kurt looks weary. Done. Not in his usual 'I am above all this' way but like it's bone deep. Almost sad. Blaine doesn't know what to say to fix it. Or he does know but isn't ready to. 

"Don't want you getting any unfair advantage at the interviews." It's meant to be a joke but it falls flat. 

"For fucks sake, Anderson. Like knowing the colour of your vomit will give me an edge." Kurt leaves then. Blaine expects him to slam the door but it just clicks softly shut behind him. Somehow that's worse. 

He wishes he had the courage to call Kurt back and tell him _thank you_ and _sorry_ and _you're right_ and soothe everything away with endless lingering kisses. He thinks of his song. Knocked off his horse. Defeated. It's never felt more true. 

He sulks around the place for the rest of the afternoon. He walks into the kitchen to find Kurt's cleaned it and feels bad all over again. He takes up his well-worn pacing route and tries to think it all through.

He doesn't hate Kurt. Which isn't exactly a revelation. The song that had poured out of him last week hadn't exactly been a song about hate. He, admittedly, has been slightly smitten with Kurt from the moment they met but just moved his energy into hating him instead when it became evident they weren’t going to be fast friends. Or friends at all. But lately everything was harder to align into its normal neat box of, ‘This is Kurt. I hate him.’ It was a lot more like, ‘This is Kurt. He’s hilarious and handsome and snarky and smart and I’m slightly obsessed with his arms. Also, apparently, he’s sweet now which is really annoying because I need to remember how awful he is and that’s hard when I keep remembering that he literally helped me throw up. Oh God, why did he see me literally throw up?’

He keeps hearing Kurt’s voice like a broken record in his head saying, _you know why, Cheddar_. And his sweet little smile when he was calling Blaine handsome. Kurt had been everything he needed him to be over the last twenty-four hours and hadn’t complained once. He had barely teased. Blaine comes to the steady conclusion that he might actually be the stupidest person alive. 

He grabs his phone and pulls up a text to Kurt. He has the number in case of emergencies but has never used it. He thinks about what he wants to put, and nothing seems right. He puts his phone down again. Maybe they just need to talk in person. Maybe Blaine just needs to kiss Kurt senseless. Maybe he needs to come up with a more coherent plan. 

When there's a knock on his door at just after 6pm Blaine is so certain it must be Kurt being the brave one, because of course he is, that he literally runs to the door. 

"Hey, B. You're looking much better. Upright and everything, well done. I've bought enough food for three so I hope Kurt likes soup."

It's Cooper, and Blaine is both disappointed and incredibly happy to see him. So much so that he throws his arms around him. 

"Hello," Cooper says in surprise. It's not that they don't hug but not usually this enthusiastically. Still, he puts his grocery bag down and wraps Blaine up in his arms and rocks them back and forth without questioning it. 

"Kurt's not here," Blaine says eventually, pulling away. "So, more soup for us."

"Kurt's not here?" Cooper frowns. "He said he'd stay with you until I got back."

"I sent him home. I'm feeling a lot better."

Cooper is clearly processing as he picks up his dropped bag and walks to the kitchen. "What did you do?" he demands suddenly. 

"What…? I just told you. Sent him home."

"Blaine, you’re such an _idiot_."

"I know," Blaine says, sounding so defeated that it seems to take the wind out of Cooper's sails. 

"Ok, well as long as we're agreed, I guess you can still have some soup if you're up to it."

Cooper let's it go after that and they pass a peaceful evening eating soup and watching old movies including _The Princess Bride_ as per their tradition. Cooper does occasionally glance at Blaine and shake his head like he can't believe what a moron his brother is. Blaine can't really blame him. The more memories that come back to him in a coherent order, the more Blaine realises that he really _is_ a moron. 

Clearly, he needs to change his password to _BlaineAndersonSucks_.

Cooper leaves with a final hug and a comforting, "You'll sort it, little bro. You always were good at romantic speeches."

Blaine has no idea why Cooper is so invested in his love life but is grateful for the encouragement all the same. He obviously needs all the help he can get. 

* * *

On Monday, Blaine dithers for so long that he's nearly late. He dithers over what to wear - ultimately deciding to keep it simple with a deep purple button down. He also dithers over whether to bring Kurt something. He has some serious grovelling to do after all. He panics and just gets a whole cheesecake from the bakery around the corner before running for the bus. 

Kurt is of course already there when he arrives, and Blaine is a little more sweaty and out of breath than he would have liked. 

"Hi," Kurt says quietly, keeping his eyes on his screen. Not the most enthusiastic greeting but at least it's not an all-out blanking. 

"Kurt," Blaine says. He loads so much into that one syllable that Kurt looks up in surprise. "I bought you cheesecake," Blaine says eventually. "It's a thank you and apology cheesecake. Thank you for this weekend and I'm sorry I was so weird and ungrateful and basically just dumb."

He puts the box of cake down on the desk and Kurt smiles tentatively. "You _were_ weird and ungrateful. But I forgive you. We can just not talk about it. If that's what you want?"

"No it's…" Blaine is desperate to get everything out _this second_ or he might combust. The office feels so exposed. "Come with me a second?

He heads to the stationary cupboard. It has the copier in too but only he and Kurt use it. They should have privacy. Luckily, Kurt has followed, looking a little bemused. Blaine ushers him further in and leans against the door.

"The thing is. I know we've had this whole antagonistic thing going and it been fun but…" 

"But?" Kurt prompts gently. 

Blaine considers what he wants to say. _But I think we might be actual soulmates like in books and I basically want to kiss your face off and touch you everywhere and know all your secrets all at the same time. Let's just be boyfriends._ Probably not that. Probably need to ease into it.

"But I don't want to do that anymore. I like you, Kurt. I liked you the moment I met you, actually. And I still like you, despite your best efforts to persuade me otherwise. And this weekend showed me that maybe you do have a soul after all, which is great news."

Kurt quirks a small half smile. "Still in debate. And I like you too, Cheddar if we're just declaring things. But...Is that all you wanted?" He looks hopeful. 

"Well. Seeing as you’ve seen me half naked, covered in sweat and vomiting, I guess I was kind of hoping that made us friends now?" 

"Blaine…" Kurt says, his face falling slightly. For some reason the use of his name doesn't sit right with Blaine in that moment, so he hurries to interrupt.

"Look I know you're weird about the F word… Friends," he feels the need to clarify. "But I _want_ to be friends with you. Or something. Though I don't know why because you clearly have issues."

"Or Something?"

"Huh?" Blaine says intelligently. Kurt is looking at him with dark eyes and it's suddenly hard to concentrate. 

"You said friends Or Something." Kurt takes a step forward. "What does Or Something involve?"

"Oh… not hating each other for a start," Blaine breathes. Kurt has crowded him up against the door. 

Kurt pretends to think, bracing his hands on the door, bracketing Blaine's shoulders. "I can probably manage that. And Sebastian?"

"Who?" Blaine says blankly and Kurt laughs, looking very pleased with himself. Blaine can't stop staring at his lips. 

"About yay high. Looks like a ferret. Just-friends-Sebastian. Is that accurate information?"

"Yes, extremely accurate," Blaine blurts. "You should kiss me now."

"Oh?" Kurt's voice is soft, just a gust over Blaine's lips. "Does Or Something involve kissing then?"

"God, I hope so," Blaine says and pulls Kurt in by the front of his shirt. 

Kurt’s hands are surprisingly gentle when they come up to cup his face and he kisses Blaine like he’s been missing him. Slowly and sweetly, so carefully that it makes Blaine feel almost _loved_. There’s no better word for it. Kurt kisses him like he’s trying to memorise the taste and feel of him. He kisses like he’s never going to let go again. If Blaine was prone to melodrama, which he definitely is, he would say it feels like coming home.

It’s only when he pulls Kurt even closer and ends up with the door handle in his back that he remembers where they are and just how much trouble they could get in for this. 

"We should probably get back to work," Blaine says, pulling back only enough to speak. His voice comes out more breathless than he expected. 

Kurt nods, his eyes sparkling. "I think I'm going to enjoy playing the Or Something game with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. To be honest you had me at cheesecake."

Blaine can't resist. Not with Kurt's smiling face so close to his own, those beautiful eyes as bright as literal stars. He kisses him again, putting a hand to his neck in something that already feels like habit. 

They do make it back to work. 

Eventually. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final thoughts:  
> The line Kurt says about large women is from the Princess Bride. He hasn't lost his mind. 
> 
> The song is Foolish Thing by Darren Criss which I appropriated for Blaine. I was just listening to Homework on repeat and well things happen 
> 
> I was going to end the chapter with Cooper's encouraging words but I feel like we've all suffered enough 😉


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo massive chapter ahead. Somehow my determination to have this be ten chapters transcended basic common sense. What can you do?
> 
> The chapter in which the boys talk a lot, there's a whole lot of fluff and then they bang. This is my literal first time ever writing smut so please be gentle with me ;)

Kurt insists they need to Talk which Blaine would be a general fan off if he didn't know that Kurt meant a capital 'T' Talk and not just a light-hearted chitchat. Kurt seems to be fairly determined about this fact (or at least doesn’t let himself get distracted by kisses) so Blaine lets Kurt drag him out for lunch for the literal first time since they met.

Kurt takes him to one of the local diners and Blaine barely hesitates in sliding in next to Kurt in the booth rather than opposite him.

"You know it would be easier to talk if you were across from me," Kurt says lightly but he gives Blaine's knee a small squeeze and Blaine suspects he doesn't mind very much.

Blaine does attempt some casual small talk but by the distracted look on Kurt's face, he's clearly building himself up to something so Blaine goes quiet and just lets him think until the waitress has come and taken their order.

"You know when you were sick, I said I felt like I had gone about everything in a terrible way?" Kurt asks eventually.

"Yeah."

"Well… I wanted to explain what I meant by that." Kurt swallows.

"Go on," Blaine encourages gently.

"Do you remember the day we met?"

"Yes. You didn't smile at me," Blaine says, so indignantly that he can tell Kurt is fighting a grin.

"I was miserable," Kurt admits and that hadn't been what Blaine was expecting. "My dad had just died, a third of my colleagues had just been made redundant, which the other two thirds blamed me for, and I had just met Dickhead, who called me 'lady face' and made me feel seventeen again and not in a fun Zac Efron way." He pauses to breathe. "Which isn't an excuse. I just want you to understand that I wasn't really… my best self when we met.

“I also assumed, wrongly, that whoever Richard would have chosen to be his 'second in command' would be just as unpleasant as he is which means that I had some preconceived notions of you before we even met." Kurt bites his lip. "I'm sorry.

"It's OK," Blaine says quietly.

"It's not OK. Because you are _nothing_ like that piece of human garbage. When I met you…" Kurt hesitates and appears to change tack. "Well I just saw you with your eyes and hair and your adorable bow tie and I just thought 'great, the guy that's going to make my life a misery is really hot'-"

"You think I'm really hot?" Blaine interrupts and Kurt relaxes slightly, smiling.

"Yes, Cheddar. I think you're really hot. But…" he ducks his head. "I let my assumptions get in the way. I thought there was no way Richard would have promoted a queer man that far up his company. So not only did I think you were cute, I was also very sure you must be straight."

"I was kind of allowing that impression to exist," Blaine admits.

"I figured. And I don't blame you. It's just I've had problems in the past falling for straight guys. It's been messy. And I felt… well I felt quite strongly that if I smiled at you and we became friends, I was probably going to fall hopelessly in love with you and if you couldn't or didn’t love me back it was going to be… too hard to deal with on top of everything else. I kind of went into self-defence mode."

"Oh," Blaine says quietly. After a moment he reaches out tentatively and slides his hand into Kurt's who squeezes it gratefully. "That’s why you always said you didn’t want us to be friends," he realizes. “Is that also why you were always so mean? To stop us being friends?"

Kurt looks a little troubled by that. "I didn't realise it bothered you so much. Not until that night in the Turtle."

"You didn't realize calling me names would bother me?" Blaine demands incredulously.

“Well… at first I just tried ignoring you. Do you remember in the early days, I would just try and keep to myself?”

“Yeah.” Blaine does remember that. He hated it. Mostly because he was so attracted to Kurt and wanted his attention. But Kurt didn’t need to know that.

“So, when you tried to talk to me, I would try and discourage you, but you would always just come back at me with something. You were always so funny and confident about it. I enjoyed it. You always seemed happy to fight with me instead of letting me be silent. Every time I got hold of myself enough to leave you alone for a while, you would pull me back in with one of your little games. And you used to stare at me all the time. I don’t know. I thought you found it as fun as I did. I thought you were maybe even… flirting with me? But that was probably wishful thinking. Either way, I didn’t realise you were taking it so to heart.”

Blaine thinks about this. It's not a completely inaccurate presentation of events. He _didn't_ like it when Kurt ignored him. He did find a lot of their banter funny when it didn't get too personal. And would half that stuff even have bothered him as much if we wasn’t so keen on Kurt to begin with? He’s not sure. "I guess sometimes I did enjoy it," he says slowly. It's weird to think that Kurt has his own side to this story.

"But, Blaine," Kurt says seriously and he gently takes Blaine's chin in his hand so that Blaine has no choice but to look him in the eye. "If I ever made you feel any less than the gorgeous, wonderful, kind-hearted man that you are? I am truly sorry. It was never my intention."

Blaine is not sure who moves first but the next thing he knows they're kissing. Like teenagers. Unreserved, messy and he's smiling too hard to make it good, but Kurt obviously doesn't care because he's holding Blaine so close that he's practically in his lap.

They only stop when the waitress comes to bring them food with a clearing of her throat and amused expression. They separate slowly, and Blaine calmly says, “I accept your apology,” making Kurt laugh the cutest little snort laugh he’s ever heard.

Something occurs to Blaine about Kurt’s explanation as they walk back to the office and he tries to ignore it, but it comes spilling out of his mouth before he can stop himself. 

"You smile at me now. Does that mean you're no longer worried you're going to fall in love with me?" He feels a little bad. Kurt has already been incredibly vulnerable with him today, has put himself out there, has shed his armour. And Blaine is asking for even more. 

But Kurt smiles, squinty eyed and scrunchy in a way that Blaine is coming to realise is Kurt at his most relaxed. "It means I'm finally willing to take that risk."

* * *

There's an email waiting for Blaine when they get back. It's inviting him to an interview for the job the following Thursday. His stomach does a weird pancake flip, a mixture of delight and dread.

He, somehow, had managed to forget that he and Kurt are in competition for this promotion. If anything is going to mess Them up (and Blaine really wants there to be a Them, not just a them), it's going to be this.

"Kurt. Do you have a…?"

"Yep. Next Thursday. You?"

"Same," Blaine sighs.

"Are you worried?" Kurt asks. He says it in a way that means it's impossible to infer exactly what he's referring to. The interview. The competition. Just Them being at odds. 

"No. I'm confident I will crush you," he says. Not confidently.

Kurt nods. His expression is neutral. "Me too. Start looking for a new job."

Blaine sighs. It all just feels incredibly forced. "Look, I think we…" he starts to say just as Kurt says, "Shall we just…?"

"You go," Blaine prompts. 

"Well," Kurt says. "Shall we just put this on hold? I mean us. The Or Something part. Put that on hold until we know the outcome of this job thing? I don't want it to get… difficult."

"That's just what I was going to say," Blaine lies. It wasn't what he was going to say. His dad always told him he was bad at making Sensible Life Decisions. He's not about to start now. " _Or…"_ he continues, like this has just occurred to him. "We could just agree to not think about it.”

“Sounds healthy.”

“No, I mean… We can just not worry about this job thing when we’re together. Not discuss our presentations. Obviously not try and screw each other over. Just put it to one side. Let what happens, happen.”

“I would never try and screw you over anyway,” Kurt says, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course not. Me neither.”

“But. Don’t you think…” Kurt pauses, obviously trying to find the right way of saying what he wants to say. “If by some miracle we decide we _like_ being Or Something…”

“Crazy.”

“I know, right? But if we do. Don’t you think one of us having to quit our job would put a damper on things? I would just say we can forget that dumb deal. But in _this_ scenario, the loser would likely have to quit anyway. Because there’s rules against… that sort of thing. If one person is the other’s boss.”

Blaine goes quiet. He doesn’t know the way through this problem. He just knows he doesn’t want to stall things before they even start. Especially not with the taste of Kurt’s kisses still in his mouth. Extra especially as Kurt takes advantage of the pause in their conversation to peer into the bakery box, pluck a strawberry off the top of the cake and eat it with almost obscene enthusiasm. Kurt probably is right about this whole thing because all Blaine can think about when he looks at him is…

“Sex.” Blaine blurts.

“Excuse me?” Kurt looks confused but not offended.

“We just won’t have sex. I mean….” Blaine swallows. What _does_ he mean? “We can still hang out and stuff, just not complicate it with…”

“Sex?” Kurt asks, looking amused.

“No, you’re right, terrible idea,” Blaine mutters. “Don’t know what I was thinking.”

"Hang on. I just didn't know sex was even on the table," Kurt says. He glances towards the two closed office doors opposite them and lowers his voice to a delightful husk. "Tell me more."

"Oh please, sex is always on the table," Blaine scoffs like he meant to say it all along. "But not for us. Right now.” There is no way this is ever going to work. Blaine knows that with certainty when Kurt goes for a second strawberry. There’s no way he’s going to keep his hands to himself if they’re alone. Not if Kurt wants it too. “Or…” he says, elongating the word. “Addendum to this plan. We have sex. But we make it a one time thing. Just to get it out of our systems. Then we continue with aforementioned not having sex plan.”

"A one time thing?" Kurt asks. Blaine feels like there’s a lot more Kurt could have said to that so proceeds with cautious optimism.

"Yep.”

"Are you at least going to buy me dinner before you start propositioning me?"

"I just bought you lunch, didn't I?"

" _I_ bought _you_ lunch," Kurt points out. "And it was a grilled cheese."

"There's nothing wrong with grilled cheese. But if it has to be dinner we can hit the drive thru on the way."

"So romantic,” Kurt sighs, pretending to swoon. Blaine fights the grin almost by habit.

"Look I'm just saying there was a lot of grinding going on in that elevator from where I was standing. Which was between your legs. And we'd not had dinner then," Blaine points out.

"I thought we were never talking about that again?"

"Unless it proves a point I'm trying to make. Keep up, Kurt."

Kurt laughs. "I demand wining and dining, dammit. I told you I’m a romantic."

"There has to be wine involved now? The stakes just keep getting raised," Blaine pouts. "There goes the Happy Meal idea."

"Do you want me feeling cheap, Cheddar?"

Blaine shrugs. "I happen to like a McFlurry. But if you’re going to choose to be picky...”

"I always choose to be picky. And what exactly would this one time involve anyway?" Kurt says this like they're discussing a work project.”

"I assume you were given the birds and bees talk. Work it out."

"Sort of. There were pamphlets. I don't like to think about it." Kurt shudders slightly. "I just want to know the rules going in. You do seem to make up an awful lot as you go."

"The rules are simple. We only have sex once. Or at least until all this job nonsense is out of the way. Then we can go from there." Blaine shrugs like it's all perfectly reasonable. He realises it isn't. But with Kurt wanting to abort mission completely, his mouth just kind of got ahead of his brain. Maybe he’s still delirious.

Kurt raises an eyebrow. "Just once, huh? Are you sure you'll be able to control yourself?"

"I think I can manage," Blaine says, completely unconvinced of that fact.

"Because you're acting like you're doing _me_ a favour. But it's actually a favour you would be doing yourself. Because I happen to be excellent at blowjobs."

Blaine literally doesn't know what to do with his face. He tries to keep cool. "Oh really? How do you even know that for _sure_?"

"Oh, trust me. I know."

"Because you take a survey at the end of every sexual experience?"

"Obviously. You can't be afraid to ask for feedback."

"Well…" Blaine can't resist staring at Kurt's mouth with that image in mind. "We can probably work with that."

"Just once?" Kurt checks and he is literally Satan. He looks so incredibly amused by all this. Why can't he at least be as partially affected as Blaine. And why is that confidence also such an irresistible look on him?

"Just once," Blaine confirms.

Kurt grins. "We'll see." He puts another strawberry in his mouth and the way he wraps his lips around it seems to be deliberate at this point. He seems to have forgotten that he wanted to put a stop to the whole thing, though. Blaine feels a little bad that he's successfully derailed that line of thinking. But also very happy.

"Why don't you come over tonight?' he blurts. “I mean not necessarily for _that_ ,” he says, his cheeks burning. He used to be so much better at this. Or maybe it's just Kurt that brings this out in him. “I mean because I would like to get to know you better. I might even actually make you dinner. Although, to be honest, it’s more likely to be take out. But there will definitely be food.”

Well that was fucking atrocious. Blaine wouldn’t be surprised if Kurt was regretting the whole thing.

But Kurt just smiles so sweetly that it makes Blaine's breath catch and says, "As you wish."

* * *

Blaine doesn’t end up cooking. Instead he spends the intervening hour before Kurt is due to show up showering, changing his outfit five times and styling his hair into the curls he knows Kurt likes. He also paces a whole lot. He can’t help but think that it’s going to be strange. Yes, he feels like they're finally on the same page (or at least in the same damn _book_ ) but it's still going to require a cosmic shift of mindset.

He thinks about lunch. Kurt had laid himself bare. If he can manage that, Blaine can manage behaving like a normal human being for one evening. 

He’s already told the doorman to expect Kurt, so the knock comes directly on his apartment door at exactly 7.30pm. Apparently his eerie punctuality extends to all things. Kurt looks so out of context standing at Blaine’s door, looking as handsome as ever but more relaxed away from the office. He’s wearing navy which is Blaine’s absolute favourite colour on him. His eyes are practically glowing.

“Kurt! Wow, hi.”

“Hi. You look good,” Kurt says, smiling easily and pressing a quick kiss to Blaine’s cheek. He’s so annoyingly unruffled. As ever. Blaine feels like a legitimate mess next to him and he usually feels like he’s quite put together. “I bought you these.” Kurt pulls a bunch of yellow and red roses out from behind his back.

It takes Blaine an embarrassing thirty seconds to understand what that means. “They were from you? The ‘you take my breath away flowers?’”

“Yeah,” Kurt ducks his head, looking a little shy.

“Why didn’t you just say?”

“I wasn’t sure how you would react. I mean you’d already reacted pretty unfavourably to my first romantic overture at this point, if you remember?” Kurt’s tone is light but he still looks a little strained.

“I guess I can’t really deny that,” Blaine admits. “But I love them. Thank you.” He leans in to kiss Kurt properly, letting his free hand trail down Kurt’s arm and tangle their fingers together. “Come on.”

He leads the way into the kitchen so he can get a vase and silence settles over them as Blaine trims the stems. “Is this going to be awkward?” he asks. He has always been a supporter of the theory that pointing out awkward moments makes them less so. It _kind_ of works this time because Kurt chuckles softly. 

“Only if we let it be, Cheddar.”

“It’s just weird. Being out of work with you, I guess. I mean I know we had lunch today but before that the only non-sick time was that whole… Purple Turtle thing.” What an amazing thing to bring up on what is essentially a first date. Sometimes Blaine thinks his dad must be right, his private school education _was_ a total waste of money. But Kurt surprises him by grinning.

“Do want to know something kind of embarrassing?”

“Definitely.”

“I thought you wanted to go on a date with _me_. That day I mean.”

Blaine stares. A few things click into place. “Oh no. Not...I don’t mean _oh no_. I mean I’m so sorry that I did that.”

Kurt waves a hand. “You obviously didn’t do it on purpose. You were so shocked after that kiss that must not be spoken of. It’s just because you were being so flirty. And you said the person for you was in front of you the whole time. Stuff like that. I felt incredibly dumb when I realised I had made the whole thing up in my head.”

“Don’t feel dumb. I had a sex dream about you,” Blaine blurts. “That’s why I was being flirty. And strange probably. Because I had a sex dream about you and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

“So that dream you told me about…” Kurt says slowly.

“All made up. Aside from there being a naked tall man pressed up against me. Which was you.” Blaine thinks at this point Kurt is probably going to get mad. He probably would if the situations were reversed. But Kurt shocks him for second time by laughing. He laughs a lot now, Blaine has noticed. He still loves it every time.

“Well…” Kurt seems lost for words for once.

“In my defence,” Blaine says, feeling considerably more relaxed with a laughing Kurt in front of him. “You said to me ‘I’m going to work you so fucking hard’ that day and you’re really hot. Any human brain would have run with those details.”

“You think I’m hot?” Kurt teases, echoing Blaine from the diner. But he looks pleased.

“ _Really_ hot,” Blaine repeats if only to see Kurt blush, which he does. It’s so endearing.

“Any further details you want to share?” Kurt asks, coming a little closer.

“Pervert,” Blaine says mildly. He finishes arranging the flowers and steps comfortably into Kurt’s space, wrapping his arms around Kurt’s waist.

“Did we manage to diffuse the awkward?”

“I think so. But just in case.” Blaine kisses him soundly.

They do order in. Just pizza. Which they put between them and share as they lounge on the floor despite the abundance of perfectly comfortable seating options in Blaine’s apartment. They happily ignore the TV that Blaine had clicked on to talk instead. Blaine finds out that Kurt is one of those rare people that actually likes pizza crusts, that he’s a cat person, loves the ocean and once dreamed of being on Broadway.

He would happily listen to Kurt talk all evening but Kurt wants to hear about him too, especially about Cooper who he seemed to find funny rather than outrageously offensive. Which is always a plus. Blaine might feel jealous about this interest, but Kurt is holding his hand and smiling at him brightly and leans in to steal the occasional kiss. There’s no doubt where his real interest lays and it’s not in Cooper.

Blaine feels like there's a weight off his chest with so much finally out in the open between them. It feels so much easier. He has confidence that when he reaches for Kurt's hand, Kurt will take it. And sometimes that's all that's needed.

It does feel a little strange. He feels like Kurt sometimes holds back a teasing comment he otherwise would have just said. Blaine suddenly feels that he has to present the best version of himself, rather than the very real, flawed individual that Kurt already knows, but likes anyway. It's an adjustment. But, when Kurt laughs and leans his head into Blaine's shoulder, it feels exactly like what they should be doing.

“I should probably go,” Kurt says eventually with no small amount of regret.

Blaine opens his mouth to protest but then realises it’s gone midnight and they both have to get up at six that morning. “Let me do this first,” he says instead. They’re already sitting close together, knees touching where they’re both sat cross legged on the floor. Blaine kneels up, pressing his hands to Kurt’s shoulders for balance and without further preamble, kisses him the way he's wanted to all night.

Kurt makes a small noise of surprise at the sudden intensity but then just opens his mouth beneath Blaine’s tongue, letting him lead. It’s all heat and hunger, endless and breathless and wonderful all at once. Kurt sinks down to the floor under Blaine’s insistence, pulling Blaine down with him, not letting them separate for even a second. 

If someone had told Blaine a week ago that he would be happily making out on the floor with Kurt Hummel of all people, he would… have been highly sceptical at the very least. But right now, there’s no space for thought on anyone else, any _thing_ else. Kurt makes beautiful noises as Blaine presses him down, legs tangled, and bodies pressed irresistibly together. He can feel how aroused Kurt is and it’s all such a hopeless turn on. If they’re not careful, they’re going to waste their one time on hasty floor sex. What a dumb rule. Who even made that rule?

“Blaine,” Kurt whispers. “Wait.”

“Sorry,” he pants, tearing himself away. “That really was just supposed to be a goodnight kiss. Got a bit carried away.”

Kurt strokes over his hip, leaning up for a more gentle kiss. “It’s OK. Obviously, I am not going to object to having a sexy man straddle me and kiss me senseless but if you're serious about that one time thing…"

“So serious," Blaine says biting his lip and then, after a moment , he leans down and gently bites Kurt's lip instead, who moans and catches his mouth again, pulling him close. Blaine grinds down, heat swirling in his stomach. His hand is on Kurt's shirt, tugging it up, stroking over warm skin.

"B-Blaine," Kurt stutters, eyes dark.

"Fuck. Sorry."

Kurt laughs and after a moment, Blaine joins in, resting his forehead against Kurt's. "This may sound old-fashioned but I just want to make it count. Take my time with you." Kurt smiles wickedly.

Blaine's hips twitch in response and they gasp in unison. "I'm getting off you now," Blaine announces. Otherwise he's never going to let Kurt leave. Not in a creepy way.

He can’t resist one more kiss before he disentangles himself and stands up. He pulls Kurt to his feet. The hold hands as they walk towards the door, deliberately slow.

“I had a good time,” Kurt breathes, surprisingly shy to Blaine’s mind, especially considering he was just happily moaning underneath him. 

“Me too. I'll see you tomorrow?" He doesn't know why it comes out a question. Of course they'll see each other tomorrow. Blaine has no idea how they're going to deal with this at work. The wanting and the hiding. All of it.

"Don't overthink it," Kurt says apparently reading his mind. 

"It's kind of my thing. That and not communicating the results of said overthinking and getting myself into a mess as a consequence."

"Well, we really want to avoid that second thing, don't we?" Kurt says fondly. He kisses Blaine briefly, nuzzles his cheek, threads his fingers through Blaine's hair. "God, I love your curls."

" _Kurt_ ," Blaine groans because _really_ , all this touching is deeply unfair when he’s this turned on.

"Sorry," Kurt laughs, not sounding it. "I'll go." He steps out into the hall and turns and smiles. "No overthinking, Cheddar. Just talk to me if you do, alright? It's going to be OK."

Blaine watches him leave and thinks that just maybe it will be.

* * *

"Morning, I got you coffee," Kurt greets him the next day, gesturing at the Starbucks cup waiting on Blaine's desk.

Blaine, late, exhausted and fed up to the back teeth of LA buses, thinks he might actually be in love. "Thank you so much."

"Wow, you just made your heart eyes at coffee. Should I be offended?' Kurt smirks.

"I don't have heart eyes," Blaine lies. "And coffee is my first and truest love. I hope you can learn to live with it."

"I suppose I'll have to," Kurt says, with a put-upon sigh. Blaine tries not to read too much into that. It feels like Kurt is alluding to some sort of nebulous future which contains both Blaine and his coffee addiction.

He grins wider when he sees that the name scrawled on the cup says _Cheddar._ He takes a long sip and makes an indecent noise of satisfaction. "You’re the actual best. Those buses are ruining my life."

"Is your car still out of action?"

"Yeah," Blaine frowns. "It might be a lost cause."

"I could have a look at it for you," Kurt offers. "I know I don't look it, but I actually know a lot about cars. My dad taught me."

"You would do that?"

Kurt gives Blaine a look that somehow perfectly communicates that _Duh, I just spent a full night wiping your sweaty brow, I'll happily look at a car_. "Of course," is all he says.

"Then I would love that, thank you."

"Saturday?"

Blaine’s face falls. "I can't. My brother is in a musical and their pianist has gone MIA. I said I would fill in this weekend."

"Oh, that's OK… Another time?" Kurt looks as disappointed as Blaine feels.

"Definitely. But you should come. To the rehearsal. You can heckle Cooper and throw stuff."

"Will that be OK? Me coming, not the heckling. I assume there would be some objection to _that_."

Blaine shrugs. "I'm doing them a favour. They’re not paying me. It's a new musical too. _Love Story_. It's like a Taylor Swift jukebox musical crossed with Love Actually. It will be fun."

"That actually sounds amazing," Kurt says. "I'd love to come."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, dummy."

Blaine smiles into his coffee.

* * *

He rides the high of whatever they're doing for the rest of the week. They don't hang out again outside work aside from a few lunches and stolen kisses but Blaine doesn't mind. Or he does. Horribly. But Kurt wants to take it slow and he can respect that, seeing as he's a proper gentleman and all that. It doesn't stop him jerking off to the thought of Kurt every night.

He might worry that Kurt was cooling on the whole thing if he didn't bring him coffee every morning and if he hadn't cornered him after one particularly late night in the office and kissed him breathless. That and the occasional dirty text that fuels the aforementioned jerking off. 

He's feeling so happy that when Judith phones as usual on Friday he is ready for her.

"Blaine, darling. I think I'm coming down with that dreaded flu that's going around. I just need to go home early and rest up and I'll be right as rain. Would you mind just sliding my deadline to Monday lunchtime?"

"Actually Judith, that won't work for me."

"What?" She doesn't sound so sweet as pie now.

"Every time you ask for an extension, I end up working late and that's not fair. You can meet your deadlines like everyone else."

"Or what?" Judith asks coolly.

"Or nothing" Blaine shrugs. "I just tell Richard you didn't submit on time." Which of course was a threat in itself. Richard was volatile to a fault. He could laugh it off or make Judith's life miserable for a few weeks. No way of knowing.

"You know, ever since you started hanging out with Hummel you've changed."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Also, I'm not doing your niece’s work experience. Good luck arranging something else." He hangs up.

Kurt stares at him. "Woah" he says after a beat. Then he grins. "Did you two break up?"

"Oh, shut up."

Kurt just laughs.

* * *

"Kurt, _you're_ here. Blaine didn't tell me. And Blaine tells me everything," Cooper rambles happily, wrapping Kurt up in a firm hug.

"Blaine didn't know," Kurt confides. "I just came to get more embarrassing stories from you."

Blaine nudges his shoulder into Kurt's. "Hey! Hasn’t he given you enough of those already?" Kurt doesn’t answer, just looks at him with soft eyes that make Blaine's breath catch.

"OK, you two are so cute together. You are together now, right? I can't deal with any more of this one's angst," Cooper says, gesturing at Blaine.

"Cooper it's not like a contractual obligation for you to embarrass me, you know?" Blaine whines.

"I know. It's just so fun."

Blaine would protest but Kurt takes his hand and gives it a comforting squeeze and he suddenly doesn't care anymore. “Actually, I didn’t tell you he was coming because I was working on the forgiveness is easier to obtain than permission philosophy.”

“Eh?” Cooper asks.

“We didn’t know if I would be allowed to come,” Kurt explains. He turns back to Blaine once he’s finished speaking, almost like he can’t stop looking at him and Blaine feels his hair self-consciously. He’s gone curly again, as Kurt seems to be such a fan. But maybe it’s just a little too wild today?

Kurt reads his discomfort and leans in, dipping his voice just for Blaine’s ears. “You look incredible.” Blaine blushes hotly. He wishes he wasn’t so transparent. But sometimes it’s worth it.

“Stop whispering sweet nothings to each other and get to work,” Cooper says but he’s grinning. “Kurt, I have no idea if you’re allowed to be here but if you just keep your head down and sit a few rows back, I’m sure it will be fine. B, come meet the others.”

Blaine allows himself to be dragged off, looking over his shoulder at Kurt who waves and wanders away to find a seat. He makes himself focus. He’s here for Cooper today after all. Not Kurt. Who says nice things to him and makes him blush and looks about ready to tear all his clothes off the second he gets the chance. God, he hopes they get a chance. He realises he hasn’t been listening to a word Cooper has been saying. So much for focus.

“Sorry, what?” he blurts.

“Hopeless,” Cooper says. “You’re no good to anyone when you’re all besotted.”

“I am not _all_ besotted. Just mostly,” Blaine says primly.

“I’m so glad you’re happy, squirt.” It’s a surprisingly sincere sentiment from Cooper, who prefers to show affection with insults. “You are happy, right?”

Blaine doesn’t have to think very hard. “I really am.”

* * *

It’s not a bad day but it is long. Blaine loves playing the piano and has always quite liked Taylor Swift. The musical seems to be a lot of fun, with several separate but entwining love stories, taking place across the course of it before coming together at the end. There’s a lot of misunderstandings, a hilarious actress who absolutely kills _Blank Space_ and Cooper is in his element as the main love interest.

The band is on the stage, part of the musical itself, which means he gets to glance up at Kurt every now and then who smiles and waves from the stands. And Blaine counts down the hours until they can be alone.

He’s very nearly escaped when the director, Artie, corners him at the exit. “Mr Anderson?”

“Mr Abrams. I do hope my playing was satisfactory today?” Blaine asks politely, glancing at Kurt who has frozen by the door, evidently sure Blaine is about to get in trouble for bringing him.

“Yeah, you were great. In fact, I was wondering if you would be interested in coming on permanently.”

“Permanently?” Blaine asks.

“Yeah, you know. Turn up every day. Get paid. Permanently. Or at least for as long as the run. Cooper tells me you sing too? You noticed that the rest of the band is part of the ensemble so there would be opportunities to sing. If you're any good of course.”

“Oh. Well that’s a kind offer but I have a full-time job. I wouldn’t be able to fit this in.”

Artie shrugs and hands him a card. “If you change your mind. We’re having a nightmare finding a competent pianist this last minute."

“Oh,” Blaine says again. “Well, thanks. I’ll think about it.”

Artie waves him off and starts wheeling his way back down the slope. Blaine hurries to catch up with Kurt.

“You were amazing,” Kurt says by way of greeting.

“Ah, the music wasn’t that complicated, luckily.”

“Yeah but I can just see that it’s your passion. Watching you up there… you were electric.”

“You’re full of compliments today,” Blaine notes.

“I might be trying to get into your pants,” Kurt admits, a breath in Blaine’s ear. Blaine shivers.

“You don’t have to try that hard,” Blaine assures him.

“But you look like you love it.”

“Getting compliments? I mean obviously.”

“No,” Kurt laughs. “I was back on the music thing. You look like you really love it. Why don’t you do that? Rather than dealing with Dickhead all day, every day.”

“I… don’t really know. No opportunities, I guess,” Blaine says honestly.

“Looks like you just got one.” Kurt gestures to the card in Blaine’s hand. “I’m not going to tell you how to live your life, of course, but why pass up doing something you love?”

“Practicality mostly.”

“Hm. Always had you pegged as a dreamer, Blaine Anderson, not a pragmatist. But I will obviously support whatever decision you make.” It’s such a frankly coupley thing to say that Blaine pulls him in for a kiss. 

“You know what I think?” he asks.

“What?”

“I think we should go back to mine.”

* * *

Blaine does actually have dinner planned for once but as he tries to explain this between kisses, he finds himself pressed into the mattress by a very eager Kurt and finds he actually doesn’t give a shit about dinner.

"Sorry. Is this OK?" Kurt seems to remember himself enough to check and Blaine almost laughs.

"It's so fucking OK."

Kurt needs no further encouragement. His lips are hot and hungry, his hands unbuttoning Blaine's shirt and he's clearly as desperate as Blaine feels.

"You too," Blaine manages when Kurt finally has his hands on bare skin and seems quite content with that fact. Kurt doesn't miss a beat, pulling the Henley he's wearing up and over his head. Blaine has to appreciate that Kurt is wearing something that's easy to take off. He also has to appreciate Kurt's body. It is every bit as wonderful as the rest of him.

He doesn't have much time to enjoy it before Kurt's hands are on him again, a scorching path across his skin. Kurt bites gently as his pulse point, scrapes his teeth against Blaine's jaw and across his stubble. Blaine lets his hands wander freely in return, smoothing down Kurt’s naked back and appreciating the curve of his ass.

"Tell me what you want," Kurt whispers into his ear. "You can have my hands, my mouth. You can have me on my knees, if you want, sweetheart. Whatever you want. " 

He grinds his hips into Blaine's and even through several layers of fabric, Blaine moans at the feel of Kurt hard against him. Kurt has him trapped against the bed and could do whatever he wanted and Blaine would happily take it. But he's begging Blaine to tell him how best to please him and Blaine feels… powerful. There's no better word for it.

"Want your mouth," he breathes. "On my dick. In case that wasn't clear."

Kurt laughs softly. "It was."

"I've heard you're excellent at blowjobs."

"I guess you'll be able to decide for yourself."

Kurt kisses him slowly, a hand in his hair, grinding lazily. Blaine gasps with the flashes of pleasure each time there's friction but it's nowhere near enough through denim. He tries to rock upward, hitching a leg up around Kurt's to try and pull him closer.

"Patience," Kurt says lightly but his mouth starts to move lower. He kisses Blaine's neck, worrying at a patch of skin that makes Blaine's breath hitch at the feel of his lips on it. Blaine thinks he's probably leaving a mark and just tips his head back, providing better access.

Kurt pulls back for a moment and Blaine protests the loss of his mouth until he sees that Kurt is just looking at him, eyes dark with want.

"You are so fucking stunning. Like this. And all the time. I just…" Kurt cuts himself off by pressing one quick, deep kiss to Blaine's lips and then his hand is on Blaine's belt, yanking at it so hard that it's painful. Blaine helps, pulling the belt out of its buckle and wiggling his pants down his hips enough that Kurt can get to his underwear.

"OK?" Kurt checks, hand on the waistband of his briefs.

"As I want your mouth on my dick, I think it's kind of a necessity that you take them off."

"Asshole" Kurt murmurs, giving Blaine a quick and unexpected squeeze through the material. Blaine groans and Kurt grins, point made.

Kurt shimmies down the bed, gets comfortable and pulls down Blaine's briefs without further preamble. Blaine feels vaguely self-conscious in the way one does with new lovers but he's feeling it through a pretty solid haze of lust so it's not the most urgent feeling. It disappears completely when Kurt mutters "gorgeous" apparently to himself.

Kurt drags all of Blaine's clothing further down and mouths at the crease of Blaine's thigh, rubbing his cheek against the sensitive skin.

"Kurt, please," Blaine says as evenly as possible. It's a request. Definitely not begging. Not that he is above such things. He will if he must.

Kurt appears to be feeling generous though. He licks a thick stripe over Blaine's cock and then his mouth is everywhere all at once. Blaine moans deep and loud and his hips jerk up without his permission. God, it's been a long time and Kurt's mouth is just perfect, wet and hot and right where Blaine wants it.

"Sorry," he babbles trying to still his hips. "Sorry."

Kurt pulls off and Blaine nearly protests but Kurt just says, "You can fuck my face. But let me get ready first. I’ll tap your leg twice if I need you to stop, OK?" Blaine nods frantically and then Kurt's back and he has a heavy arm over Blaine's stomach, keeping him pinned down.

Kurt takes his time. He sucks at the head of Blaine's cock, tonguing at the slit until precome is joining saliva and Blaine is writhing. One of his hands bunches up in the sheets and the other lands in Kurt’s hair, threading through the strands.

Kurt gradually sinks lower and the noises he's making, and the feel of his mouth are driving Blaine crazy. He can't stop moving even with Kurt's arm keeping him reasonably still. He pets Kurt's hair, calls him perfect, squeezes his eyes tight shut because all he can focus on is the overwhelming sensation of pleasure between his legs.

Kurt doesn't pause or hesitate to let Blaine regain his equilibrium; he nudges forward, hungrily slides more of Blaine's cock into his mouth until it's hitting the back of his throat. He struggles a little, readjusts and _there_ , Blaine feels it when Kurt finds the right angle and he slides in those remaining inches. He can't hold back the long moan that follows.

Kurt releases his hips, tucks his hands up under Blaine's ass instead. He squeezes and uses his grip to encourage Blaine to move. The inference is obvious. _You can fuck my mouth now_.

Blaine is a little reluctant at first. He's had blowjobs before, of course, but only one ex that didn't mind deep throating and even then, only under his terms. He's never had someone encourage him to just go for it before but, judging by the way Kurt is pushing at his ass, that's exactly what he's offering.

He looks down and it's the sight of Kurt, lust blown eyes looking up at him, and lips stretched obscenely around Blaine's cock that makes the decision for him. He couldn't stop himself from moving then if he tried. He thrusts, gently at first but then faster at the sound of encouragement Kurt makes.

It's nothing like he's ever really experienced. Kurt's throat is hot and tight and he moans happily at Blaine's enthusiasm causing vibrations that Blaine can feel everywhere. He grabs Kurt's hair, holds him in place and just chases his pleasure, thrusting quickly, nonsense spilling out of his mouth every time he can catch his breath.

"Oh God, fuck fuck fuck," he gabbles. He can't control his mouth or his hips. He just takes and takes, driven on by Kurt’s firm grip on his ass and he's going to come any fucking minute. It would be impossible not to. But he's so deep in Kurt's throat, has no idea if he wants to be forced to swallow or not. "Kurt, I'm so close, honey. You feel so good. Fuck."

He's given Kurt the warning, it's all he can do. Kurt doesn't move or tap that he wants Blaine to stop. He just moves his fingers to slide down the crack of Blaine’s ass and push lightly at his hole. It's the tiniest bit of pressure but Blaine reacts like Kurt's just slid his dick inside him.

He comes explosively. His vision goes white, he pulls on Kurt's hair hard enough that it must hurt and he sobs out Kurt's name as he spills down his throat.

It feels like it goes on for ever but is probably only a few seconds. He feels Kurt swallow, it's not as if he could do anything else. He is surprised that Kurt just let's him rest there for a few glorious moments deep in the comforting heat of Kurt's throat, while he comes to. Then Kurt slowly slides off, the sound of it obscene.

"Holy shit." Blaine feels like he can't actually move. "What the fuck was that?"

"A blowjob, Blaine. Surely you've had one before." Kurt is teasing but his voice is scratchy and deeper than Blaine's ever heard and Blaine tugs at him, trying to bring him up the bed. Luckily, Kurt complies because Blaine's limbs are ineffective jelly right now. He nudges his nose against Kurt's and just beams stupidly.

Somehow Kurt has taken his pants and underwear off in the course of events and Blaine isn't surprised he missed it, but he is a little sad. Kurt's cock is hot and hard against his thigh and Blaine reaches down to wrap his hand around it, gratified when Kurt sighs in pleasure and his eyes flutter shut.

"You’re incredible," Blaine says happily, watching him. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

Kurt shakes his head. "It was really hot. Nearly came from just you in my mouth and grinding against the bed. The noises you make. Fuck."

"Yeah?" Blaine says, increasing the pace of his hand at the thought of it.

"Yeah," Kurt breathes, though it's barely more than a moan. "Keep doing that."

Blaine wouldn't be able to deny him anything right now. Blaine grip is a little dry and he's sluggish from orgasm so it's not ideal. But Kurt seems beyond caring, letting out the most beautiful cut off moans as Blaine jerks him off.

Blaine kisses him, deep and claiming. He can taste his own come on Kurt's tongue but that's never been something that bothers him and it certainly doesn't now with Kurt sinking into him, kissing him hotly, and pulling at Blaine's hair. His hips move frantically, fucking himself on Blaine’s fist.

"Beautiful," Blaine breathes when they separate for air. He peers down, getting a good look at Kurt's cock for the first time, sliding in out of sight between his fingers. He's big. Not obscenely so, but long and thick and perfect. "Can't wait to get that dick in me," Blaine mutters without thinking. He would feel embarrassed but Kurt seems to agree because at those words he whines, bites Blaine's shoulder and comes, striping Blaine's stomach and thighs.

"Fuck," Kurt says eloquently and he soothes the bite mark he's just made, with his tongue. "Sorry. But fuck."

"Don't apologize." Blaine wraps his arms around Kurt and holds him close. "That was…" He just groans, his hips bucking slightly at just the thought of Kurt's throat.

"I did mean for us to actually talk. And eat. And other such civilized things." Kurt laughs slightly, his mouth against Blaine collarbone. "But then, God. I’ve had to watch you all day looking like that and my priorities shifted somewhat.”

"We can still do those things," Blaine assures. "But give me a minute. A very sexy man just made me come my brains out and now I can't move."

Kurt just hums his agreement. They hold each other for several peaceful minutes, Blaine's hand on a lazy sweep up and down Kurt's spine. Eventually though the discomfort of being covered in drying spunk somewhat forces Blaine into action.

"Gotta clean up," he murmurs regretfully, gently pushing at Kurt until he rolls off.

"Let me," Kurt says and disappears into the bathroom. He returns a moment later with a damp wash cloth and carefully cleans Blaine up, concentrating adorably with his tongue between his teeth.

"A gentleman always cleans up after himself," he says, sensing Blaine's gaze. "That's why I always swallow."

"Oh my god," Blaine laughs. Kurt looks at him, smiling softly.

"So, in my general survey I obviously take after all sexual encounters: Please rate my skills"

Blaine laughs even harder. "You're so dumb. But you _are_ excellent at blowjobs. You can add me to your list of references."

"That's all I ask. After all, if this is only a One Time Thing, I'm going to have to convince the next guy it's all worth it."

Blaine knows Kurt well enough to tell that he's only teasing but is still completely taken back by the hot spike of jealously and possessiveness that takes root at those words. "Can you not talk about your next conquest while we're still naked?" He manages to keep his tone fairly light-hearted but he plucks the cloth out of Kurt’s hand and throws it on the floor before straddling him and pinning his hands to the mattress. He's pretty sure Kurt could throw him off if he wanted to, but he just smiles.

"Problem, Cheddar?"

"You know, we haven't left the bed yet. I think it still counts as one time."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Or you know..." Blaine adds suddenly feeling a little uncertain. "I can just make us dinner like I planned?"

Kurt cocks his head as if in thought and then pulls Blaine into a kiss.

* * *

Blaine finally manages to drag himself away from Kurt long enough to make food, ordering him to stay in bed so that he doesn’t get non-stop distracted by Kurt’s chest and arms and ass and everything.

They decide to be slobs and eat in bed, still mostly naked and happily entangled.

“It’s mac and cheese,” Blaine announces, passing Kurt the bowl. “I know it’s basic, but you said it’s your favourite, so…”

Kurt’s face flickers and settles into an expression that Blaine can’t interpret. “Thanks,” he says eventually.

“Is it OK?” Blaine asks uncertainly.

“It’s perfect. _You’re_ perfect,” Kurt says, and he looks at Blaine like he’s produced a five course banquet rather than just some pasta. Blaine blushes but can’t stop the beam that lights up his face in response.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” They eat in companionable silence both half humming along to the music Blaine has playing out of his phone, trading smiles and small touches. Blaine feels more content than he has in a long time. And it’s not just the _got laid_ after glow. Or at least he doesn’t think it is.

“Kurt?” he says eventually.

“Yeah?”

“Can we…? Can we just promise to tell each other the truth from now on?”

“Is this a trap?” Kurt asks suspiciously. “Are you going to swear me to honesty and then ask me a load of embarrassing questions?”

“I can’t believe you would even think that of me,” Blaine says in mock outrage. “I’ll save the embarrassing questions for our third date.”

“Shit, is this only our second date?”

“Afraid so. Unless you count lunch. Who counts lunch?”

“Most people, probably? But by your count, I can’t believe I put out before the third date. I’m such a hussy. Wait, so are _you_. ”

“Kurt…” Blaine giggles, nudging him with his toes. “Can we promise to tell the truth?”

Kurt softens. “Of course, Cheddar. I kind of assumed that was a given at this point.”

“Great! In which case I do have _one_ question.”

“I knew it, you little brat.”

Blaine grins broadly. “What do the marks in your planner mean?”

“The marks in my…? Ugh, of course! I knew you’d been going through my stuff. You’re a terrible spy.”

“It’s about me, right?” Blaine pushes cheerfully.

“Not _everything_ is about you, you know?” Kurt teases. “But yes. And it’s all deeply immature.”

“I would expect nothing less when it came to the two of us. What did all the individual marks mean?”

“You’re so nosy,” Kurt complains but not like he actually minds. “Let’s see. The tally marks were for when we argued. Slashes for the times I saw you smile at other people. Xs for… times I wanted to kiss you.”

“Oh, that’s kind of creepy actually.” Kurt swats him and Blaine relents. “But kind of sweet, I guess. Why did you do all that?”

“It’s like… when you think you can’t have the whole of a person, you will take as much as you think you can get. Does that make sense?”

Blaine thinks of all the times he provoked Kurt into an argument rather than being ignored by him. “It makes perfect sense.”

“Great. Now that the interrogation is over, I have a question for _you_ ,” Kurt grins evilly.

“Oh no.”

“True or false? Your date with Sebastian wasn’t planned before that literal day.”

Blaine presses his face into the pillow. “True. I literally skulked around work all day trying to think of someone to ask. I was going to call an escort. I thought you were an evil genius manoeuvring me into admitting that I actually didn’t have a date.”

He feels Kurt’s hand settle in his hair, the feel of his laugh through the bed. “I’m not an evil genius.”

“Well I know that _now_ ,” Blaine peers out from the pillow to see Kurt’s fond face looking down at him.

“Though I was pretty jealous before I thought it might be me,” Kurt says thoughtfully.

“True or false?” Blaine says and Kurt raises an eyebrow. “You haven’t been with anyone since the merger.”

“True,” Kurt says. “You?”

“True.” Blaine hesitates. “And the reason you haven’t been with anyone else is because of… me?”

Kurt thinks about this. “True. Although it wasn’t because I thought that I could be with you so I guess it was kind of self sabotaging in hindsight. I just kind of liked you a whole lot so…” he shrugs like _what’s a guy to do?_

“Yeah?” Blaine asks.

“Yeah,” Kurt says, punctuating it with a swift peck to Blaine’s lips. Blaine smiles at the familiar exchange, made all the sweeter by Kurt’s mouth.

“I liked you a whole lot, too. Still do in fact.” He puts his hand on Kurt’s neck, pulling him in for a longer kiss, letting his other hand move teasingly up Kurt’s naked thigh.

Kurt scoops the two empty bowls off the bed and puts them on the nightstand. “You know, I think as we haven’t left your apartment yet it still counts as one-”

Blaine doesn’t even let him finish the sentence. He pulls Kurt down on top of him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late folks. I had technical issues that involved my phone just deciding it was no longer going to open the drive file where this was saved. So I had to write this chapter again. 
> 
> WARNING: homophobic language and mention of Blaine's Sadie Hawkins ordeal

**Kurt** : Fuck it I'm getting a cookie with my coffee this morning. You want a treat cheddar?

**Blaine:** I'm not a dog Kurt

**Blaine:** Wait. Do you call me cheddar because of that dog in Brooklyn 99? 

**Blaine** : Because wow

**Kurt:** Do you want a freaking cookie or not?

**Blaine:** Yes please

**Blaine:** You're the best ♥️

**Kurt: 🙄**

**Kurt:** See you soon handsome 😘

Blaine grins. What an improvement to Monday mornings Kurt turns out to be. Kurt hadn’t left his apartment until late the previous evening with an endless series of goodbye kisses that resulted in Kurt pushing him up against the door and giving him the most breathless and rushed hand job of Blaine’s life. 

They had made a reluctant agreement to not see other out of work again until after the interviews on Thursday. They both needed adequate space to prepare their presentations and get up to speed with the company accounts for the subsequent grilling about the current state of  _ Bow Ties _ . 

Blaine sort of hates the idea initially but as it soon turns out Kurt is terrible at staying away from him. There’s texts and morning coffee and hasty stationary cupboard kisses that always feel like they want to go further than they can. 

If Blaine thought the One Time Thing decision was stupid when it came out of his mouth, it’s made increasingly difficult by the fact that he now knows just how good sex is with Kurt. He only has to look at him for his mind to wander to less than PG places. He feels slightly better that he suspects Kurt is having a similar struggle. 

This theory is proven when they are both still in the office late on Wednesday night trying to memorise random facts that might help them in the interview and Kurt starts throwing scrunched up post-it notes at Blaine. They say such things as  _ your ass looks extra good today _ and  _ I would very much like to touch your ass  _ and finally,  _ you have no idea what I am going to do to you when I get the chance _ .  _ (hint it involves your ass and my dick) _

“Pure poetry,” Blaine sighs as he opens this last one. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, Mr Happy Meal, did you require more romance?” 

“No, Mr Apparent Ass Fixation, I require concentration,” Blaine says, imitating his tone. 

“If you make me a coffee, I promise to leave you alone for at least another 10 minutes. And not think about your ass. Much.”

“You can think about it as much as you like,” Blaine says reasonably. “You just can’t touch it until tomorrow.”

“So cruel,” Kurt says, looking so genuinely sad that Blaine laughs. 

“I’ll make you coffee. Even though I suspect it’s only so you can look at my ass as I walk by. But only because you’re cute.”

Kurt blows him a kiss. 

Blaine scoops up Kurt’s dirty mug as he walks past and is halfway to the kitchen before he notices the post-it note with a heart drawn on it stuck to the side. He’s pretty sure his face is doing something ridiculous and doe eyed but, as no one is working late enough to witness it, he can deny it as much as he likes. 

When he gets back to the executive office Kurt seems to be thrumming with a strange sort of excitement, beckoning him over and smiling mischievously. Blaine puts the coffees down on the desk and perches himself next to Kurt’s keyboard so that when Kurt turns in his chair they’re nearly touching. 

“Everything OK?” Blaine asks, resisting the urge to close the gap between them. 

“The Dick finally woke up long enough to go home. He had a message he wanted me to pass on to you actually.”

“Do I want to know?” 

“He said, and I quote, 'Fairy Hummel, I’m going now. Tell Blainers to go home and stop worrying for the night. Tell him to booty call that girl he’s always got on the go. Nothing like a good fuck to set the nerves straight.'” Kurt does an alarmingly good impression of Richard as it turns out.

“He called you ‘fairy’?” Blaine frowns. 

“I think you’re missing the important bit, Cheddar,” Kurt says, hand settling on Blaine’s knee. “We are alone in the office and Richard reckons you need to get laid. Far be it for me to ever take advice from him but he is your boss after all. His orders obviously transcend the one time rule.” 

“Oh, really?” Blaine asks coyly. 

“Really.”

"Be that as it may, unless you are the world's most obnoxious boy scout, I doubt even you are prepared enough to fuck me right here," Blaine points out. Not that he would be adverse to that idea.

"True. Sadly I was never in the scouts, but you seemed to quite enjoy my mouth last time?" Kurt raises his eyebrows. 

"Are you literally trying to seduce me in the office? You're so cliché." 

"I think you'll find I am succeeding in seducing you in the office." Kurt indicates the obvious bulge in Blaine's pants. He smiles and reaches for Blaine's hand. "But if you don't want to, it's obviously fine, sweetheart."

"Woah, let's not be too hasty," Blaine murmurs. He moves closer to Kurt, half climbing into his lap before he remembers the chair is on wheels and they bump heads as it moves unexpectedly. “Oof.”

"Hang on," Kurt mutters. He braces his leg on the floor and pulls Blaine more securely into his lap. "Hello," he smiles, nudging his nose against Blaine’s. 

"I've missed you," Blaine says stupidly. Stupid because they see each other every day. It’s literally unavoidable. But he means being with Kurt like this. Kurt seems to get it though, because, despite very obviously trying to get into Blaine's pants, the kiss he gives him is sweet and soft. 

"This is nothing like the office porn I've watched," Blaine says thoughtfully and Kurt laughs a little but then his eyes darken with heated intent and his mouth is on Blaine’s, hungry and insistent. His hands find Blaine’s ass almost instantly and Blaine might feel inclined to tease him if his mouth wasn’t busy and his own hand weren’t already on he buttons of Kurt’s shirt. 

“So gorgeous,” Kurt murmurs. 

“Are you talking to me or my ass?”

“Why can’t it be both?” 

Blaine doesn’t answer, just grinds into Kurt’s lap, letting them feel each other. It’s awkward and way too clothed and Blaine suspects that desk chairs were not designed with this particular activity in mind oddly enough, but Kurt moans against his mouth and Blaine can’t find that he minds too much about any of it. 

They’re too wrapped up in each other to notice the sound of the elevator. The subsequent bellow, however, is impossible to ignore.

"What the FUCK is going on here?" Richard apparently does have a third volume. Which is painful. Kurt jumps out of his skin but has the wherewithal to  _ not  _ just shove Blaine onto the floor. He actually holds him closer, almost protective until Blaine frantically disentangles himself. He stands and faces Richard, feeling Kurt do the same by his side. 

"It's…" Blaine starts. But it's what?  _ Not what it looks like? _ Of course it is. Kurt’s shirt is half unbuttoned. He looks positively dishevelled. 

"Absolutely disgusting display," Richard has a vein throbbing in his temple so violently that Blaine hopes he might just pass out from rage. "I expected it from this fa-"

"Don't call me that," Kurt snaps instantly, tensing at Blaine’s side. 

Richard ignores him. "But  _ you, _ Anderson. I can’t believe you fooled me into thinking you were normal. Have you been hiding it so you can…” his face twists in disgust, “fucking  _ leer _ at me without my knowledge?”

Blaine shudders in disgust. But he’s frozen. He can’t speak. He’s always had trouble with these kinds of situations, ever since he was beaten unconscious for daring to take a boy to a dance. He’s trembling, sweat running down his back. His flight or fight response is begging him to flee, while his more rational mind refuses to leave Kurt. 

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Kurt retorts, apparently sensing Blaine’s paralysis. He puts a grounding hand on Blaine’s elbow, squeezing tightly. “Blaine has better taste than to be interested in a vile, repugnant-”

“Shut your cock-sucking mouth, Hummel!" Richard roars, so loudly that Kurt's pens rattle on his desk.

“Don’t talk to him like that,” Blaine says, but his voice is quiet and he can’t stop shaking.

“Or what?” Richard is ready for violence. Blaine can see it every line of his body. He thinks again of those kids, spiteful, spitting slurs, kicking him to the ground. He freezes again, hating himself. Richard’s eyes narrow. “That’s what I thought. A real man would stand up for himself. You’re pathetic. And you’re fired.”

"You can't fire him for being gay as much as that may pain you," Kurt says, voice high and strangled with stress. 

"It's not for that. It's for sexual activity in the office. I will be recommending Isabelle fire you too, you-"

"Sexual activity? It was barely a-" Kurt starts desperately.

"I can speak for myself," Blaine interjects, although he’s not sure how true that is. He just doesn’t need Kurt to fight his battles. He can be brave when he has someone to be brave for. 

He takes Kurt's hand for courage and turns back to Richard. "And you don't need to fire me because I  _ quit _ . I won't be serving my notice. You're the only disgusting person in this room. Good luck finding someone stupid enough to replace me." 

"You won't be serving your notice because I do not want to set my eyes on you after today," Richard hisses. "And good luck working in fashion again, Anderson."

"Oh please, like anyone cares about this second-rate magazine or about what  _ you  _ have to say. Also, guess what else you didn't know about me? I'm half Filipino you racist piece of shit." Blaine feels wild, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He stumbles back to his desk, haphazardly piling up his personal items in the middle of it. He is getting the fuck out of here. 

Richard barges past him, physically checking him with his shoulder as he passes. It’s hard enough that Blaine staggers into the desk, bashing his knee. He sits down heavily in his chair, only dimly registering Kurt’s yell of protest. Richard stalks into his office, grabs some keys off his desk and, after shouting something Blaine doesn’t care to process but sounds deeply offensive, disappears back into the elevator. Blaine grips the arms of the chair painfully hard. He feels like he can’t  _ breathe _ . 

“Are you OK?” Kurt is crouching down next to his chair, hand on Blaine’s chin, trying to peer at his face. “Breathe, sweetheart. Try and match mine, OK?" Kurt takes a deep steadying breath. 

Blaine puts his hand over Kurt’s trying to do as Kurt has asked, pulling in several desperate pants of air before his breathing finally starts to slow. “Sorry. Sorry,” he mutters eventually.

“What? Why are you sorry?” 

“I was completely useless. He said some awful things to you. I should have been able to take care of you.”

“Blaine, you were amazing. You told that douche bag where to go. You don’t need to take care of me. I can take care of myself. I only got involved in the first place because you seemed…”

“Frozen? Yeah, I was,” Blaine says bitterly. 

"It's OK," Kurt says gently. 

"Yeah. I just wish it still didn't affect me this much."

"Wish what didn't affect you, sweetheart?" Kurt asks, sliding a hand into Blaine's hair to toy with his curls. 

"Oh," Blaine sighs. "It's this thing that happened when I was school. I decided to ask another boy to go to Sadie Hawkins with me. Some kids attacked us afterwards. I thought they were going to kill us.” Blaine’s chest feels tight again. “I just got put back there for a moment with Richard. I thought he might… but we’re OK.”

"We  _ are _ OK." Kurt kneels up so he can hold Blaine properly. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. But I promise I would never have let anything like that happen today. I can be surprisingly fierce.”

“I’ve noticed,” Blaine says. “You shot poor Sebastian in the knee.” He’s also noticed Kurt seems to have a protective streak a mile wild. He kind of believes that Kurt  _ wouldn’t _ have let anything bad happen. Even though Richard is twice Kurt’s size. He still feels shaken by the whole thing, despite that. Why was Richard even  _ there _ ?

"I thought you said he was leaving?" Blaine asks as the thought occurs, a little more accusatory than he meant to be. 

Kurt's face crumples. “He said he was. He came back to get his keys. I’m so sorry, Blaine. You know I never would have... if I knew he was going to come back. This is all my fault.”

"Of course it isn't," Blaine says, holding Kurt close. "I didn't mean to sound like I was blaming you. I'm just stressed."

"I'll help you fight it," Kurt promises. "Richard. Unfair dismissal or something?" 

"You don't have to do that. Besides, I quit, remember? No case to answer. And I was going to have to quit anyway when you got the promotion. I guess we've just sped things up a little." 

"But you might have…"

"No, you're better than me at this. You have a vision. This isn't my passion. It's yours."

Passion or not, at least it was a job with a good paycheck. Blaine does actually have rent to pay. And knowing Richard, he might even try and fuck Blaine over breach of contract for not working his notice. He should have just let himself be fired. Stupid pride. He feels a little sick.

“Hey,” Kurt says quietly. “I can sense that overthinking thing you warned me about. Talk to me, Cheddar."

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do now,” Blaine says slightly desperately. 

“Well. Right now you are going to pack up your desk. I am going to trash Richard’s office.” Blaine laughs weakly. “And then I am going to take you home and take care of you. And you are going to remember that you have me and you have Cooper. And neither of us are going to let you go under. Alright?”

“Right,” Blaine agrees gratefully. “You’re kind of the best, you know that?”

“Yeah, pretty much. But doesn’t hurt to be told.” Kurt grins and Blaine pulls him in, kissing him softly, barely more than a little  _ mwah _ that turns Kurt’s grin sweet and shy. 

“I feel like you’re always taking care of me,” Blaine says a little guiltily.

“Because I want to, Cheddar. You believe that, right?

“Yeah,” Blaine says. “I do.”

* * *

Kurt does drive him home and coaxes him into eating something and curls around him comfortingly, not expecting him to talk or do much of anything really. And when Blaine leans in to kiss Kurt he's grateful that Kurt doesn't push him away or insist that it isn't what Blaine needs right now. Because it's exactly what Blaine needs. The comfort of knowing that Kurt is right here with him. 

Kurt undresses him slowly, kissing every piece of exposed skin with quiet reverence. He takes his time, tracing Blaine's collarbone, his nipples, dipping his tongue into Blaine's belly button to make him squirm. 

He kisses Blaine's thighs, brushes feather soft under Blaine's knees where he's ticklish and sensitive and strokes the very slight curve of his hip, his belly. He whispers endearments that Blaine can't make out into his skin but he understands the meaning without needing the words. 

"How do you want me, sweetheart?" Kurt whispers, when they're finally both blissfully naked and Blaine is a pleasant mixture of relaxed and aroused. 

"I want you in me," Blaine says. "Please."

"As you wish," Kurt breathes, leaning in to kiss Blaine softly. Blaine's stomach curls with warmth in response to the words and he holds Kurt close for a moment, letting the kiss linger. 

"Stuff's in there," he says gesturing to his nightstand. Kurt leans precariously over to rummage through the drawers without actually ever getting off Blaine. It's awkward and Blaine smiles into Kurt's shoulder when he curses and then makes a subsequent noise of victory. 

Kurt moves down the bed and Blaine misses the warmth of him immediately but Kurt distracts him with his mouth on Blaine's cock. Blaine moans at the unexpected sensation, his hand automatically going to Kurt's hair. 

It's not enough to distract him from a slick finger at his entrance, pushing in gently, the discomfort of it fading almost immediately as Kurt sinks further down on his cock. Blaine is torn between bucking up into the heat of Kurt's mouth or pushing back onto his finger. He settles for squirming uselessly in the middle. 

"You can do two," he pants. "Two fingers."

Kurt doesn't argue with him, just slides another finger in next to the first. Blaine does push back onto them then, groaning with the pleasure of being even partly filled by something that's not his own fingers. It has been a while. 

Kurt pulls off his cock, kisses the tip almost affectionately and looks up at Blaine. "How are you doing, sweetheart?"

"Good. More," Blaine demands. 

"Slow down," Kurt soothes, fingers moving slowly in and out. The steady drag and pressure is making Blaine shiver with want. "I don't want to hurt you."

"You would never," Blaine says, lost in sensation, hips hinging up to try and get Kurt to speed up.

"I would never," Kurt agrees quietly. His mouth becomes preoccupied again, taking as much of Blaine as he can. Blaine moans long and low, bucking up this time into that welcome heat, almost unbearably stimulated when Kurt pushes in a third finger. 

"I'm gonna come if you keep doing that," Blaine gasps. "Want to come with you inside me. Please, Kurt." 

Kurt groans but after a few more firm licks of his tongue he slides off, concentrating on the slick slide of his fingers until Blaine is open and wanting and moaning. "How do you like it?" he asks breathlessly. 

"Your dick in me is how I like it. Put me however you want," Blaine whines. He usually prefers the simplicity of being on his hands and knees or the indulgence of riding but Kurt could literally just fuck him against the wall right now and he wouldn't care. 

Kurt removes his fingers and Blaine gasps at the sudden loss. He hears the rip of foil, Kurt rustling around and the feel of even more lube running down his ass crack. Then Kurt is kneeling between his legs, pushing the backs of Blaine's knees to his shoulders.

It's close and intimate and Blaine watches Kurt's eyes darken as his fingers find Blaine's rim, dipping in to find him still stretched and waiting. 

"Kurt… please." Blaine whispers. 

"I know, sweetheart."

Blaine peers down to see Kurt's cock, condom already on as it nudges bluntly up against his hole. Kurt guides himself in and Blaine gasps at the firm feel of him, pushing in steadily. Kurt braces himself on Blaine's thighs as he slides the rest of the way inside. 

"Fuck," Blaine moans. "Fuck." Kurt feels huge inside him, uncomfortable but not unbearably so. Kurt stops moving, kissing his calf where it's resting on his shoulder and sliding a soothing hand over his belly. He twists his hips just slightly, working his cock in deeper, grinding slowly. "Oh God," Blaine mutters as the discomfort is replaced with steady pleasure. "Y-yeah." His legs fall open wider, inviting. 

"Yeah?" Kurt checks, face flushed with the effort of holding back. 

"Yeah," Blaine assures, his mind hazy with the pleasure of Kurt right there, deep inside sending sparks of pleasure across his skin with every tiny shift of his hips. "More. You can move."

The gentle grind becomes a steady rocking that is still nowhere near the speed Blaine wants. It's slow, heady torture and judging by the way Kurt smiles down at him, he knows that. Blaine thinks about protesting but that little smile stops him. Kurt wants to take care of him. He should just let it happen. 

Blaine is rewarded for his patience when the sinful drag starts to feel  _ really  _ good and Kurt starts to speed up, groaning deeply. "You feel amazing, sweetheart. You're taking it so well." 

Blaine's cock twitches, untouched between them, beading with precome. "Yeah… I'm  _ ah _ good. Fuck." He hooks his heels up more firmly onto Kurt's shoulders gasping at the slight change as it feels like Kurt gets deeper still. 

Kurt fucks into him steadily, bracing himself with one hand on the headboard, the other on Blaine's hip, holding him as still as possible. Blaine just loses himself for a while to the blissful, constant slide, the feeling of being filled and the sounds of Kurt's quiet moans. 

Kurt twists his head to kiss Blaine's ankle, all that he can easily reach at that moment. "I feel like I've lost you," he says, stroking over Blaine's hip. "You still good?" 

"Mmmm yeah," Blaine assures, smiling lazily. "Amazing." His stomach is wet with precome, his cock still painfully hard against his stomach. Kurt grabs his hip more firmly, pulling Blaine up until he finds the exact angle he’s looking for and Blaine whimpers in response as Kurt’s cock nudges up against his prostate. “Fuck.” He can’t help the desperate series of  _ ah ah ah _ sounds that spill out of his mouth as Kurt grinds into that exact spot over and over. 

“That’s it,” Kurt breathes. “Still want to come with me in you?” His fist closes around Blaine’s cock. 

“ _ Kurt,”  _ Blaine whines. “Yes. Yes.  _ Please. _ ” 

"Just like that," Kurt murmurs, moving his fist and hips in tandem as Blaine clutches at the sheets. Blaine focuses on the feel of Kurt inside him, the breathless, relentless pleasure driving him to the edge. "Come on, sweetheart. Want to see you."

"Kur- _ Kurt. _ " Blaine can't manage anything comprehensible after that. He just moans deeply as the pleasure twists hotly in his stomach and his whole body tightens as he comes, spilling hotly all over Kurt’s hand and his own chest. 

"Holy shit, you're gorgeous," Kurt says, going still and slowly releasing him. Blaine just laughs breathlessly, boneless and relaxed, melting into the bed. 

"You can keep going," he says sleepily. "Want you to come in me."

" _ Blaine, _ " Kurt whimpers and his hips jerk.

"Please. Want you to." Kurt doesn't need further encouragement, fucking into Blaine with sudden intensity. Blaine reaches up to cup Kurt’s chin and Kurt turns his head to kiss Blaine’s palm. Blaine watches Kurt's face, seeing the shift as Kurt approaches orgasm. 

"Blaine…  _ God _ , so good sweetheart." Kurt’s grip on his hips tightens painfully and he throws his head back when he comes, collapsing down onto one elbow. Blaine is pretty convinced he's never seen anything more beautiful in his life. 

He lets Kurt recover for a few moments before he puts a hand down and gently slides Kurt out of him, removing the condom and throwing it in the bin next to the bed. He wraps himself around Kurt, pulling him down so Kurt's weight is pressing him into the mattress. 

Neither speak for a while. Blaine is covered in sweat and come, his ass is still wet and open and Kurt is half crushing him. But he's completely content. He presses a few lazy kisses to Kurt's jaw and wherever else he can reach. 

Kurt sits up slightly so he can look at Blaine's face. "Hi," he whispers. 

Blaine grins. "Hi."

* * *

Kurt eventually manages to persuade Blaine that he wants to have a shower and steps in with him, cleaning him carefully, even washing his hair for him. Blaine mostly makes a nuisance of himself, presses in for soft, lingering kisses that Kurt returns fondly before ordering Blaine to turn around so he can do his back. 

He steps out before Blaine and by the time Blaine has finished up, dried and returned to the bedroom, Kurt has put clean sheets on the bed. Blaine is fairly convinced that this is what love looks like. 

"Don't you need to go home?" Blaine asks sleepily, curled happily into Kurt's chest. He feels Kurt stiffen and adds hastily, "I don't  _ want _ you to. God, do I not want you to. But you still have work tomorrow, right? Your interview..."

Kurt relaxes, kissing Blaine's head. "Don't worry about that. Ugh, I'm sorry about what happened, Cheddar."

"Don't be. It's the push I needed. I hated it there. I hated it even before the merger so I don't know why I was so desperate for that promotion. I'll think of something."

"What about Artie? Playing the piano."

"Yeah I've thought about that," Blaine admits. He thinks about how it would be to play music every night. Someone else's music for now. But maybe his own one day? 

Kurt squeezes him. "You should do whatever makes you happy, Cheddar." Blaine leans up to kiss him lazily. 

“Why do you call me that?” Blaine has never tried to ask this question after sex before. Maybe this is the solution to getting Kurt to talk. 

“You mean you’ve haven’t worked it out?” Kurt asks, teasing smile on his face. 

“Oh. It’s  _ not _ the dog thing is it? Because that’s not as cute as you might-”

“Blaine. It’s not the dog thing.”

“Oh, thank God,” Blaine sighs. 

“It’s kind of cheesy. Pun not intended.”

“You don’t have to say. If you don’t want,” Blaine offers. Though he really wants to know. 

“No it’s OK. It’s because… Well. You’re the cheese to my macaroni," Kurt's says simply.

“Oh," Blaine beams stupidly. Then, "Wait, you’ve been calling me that since-”

“I know.”

“But-”

“I know.”

“OK, you didn’t even know what I was going to say that time,” Blaine argues. 

“You were going to say something along the lines of, ‘but why would you call me that if you were scared of falling in love with me? Wouldn't that make it worse?’ Etcetera.”

Blaine blinks. “Are you sure you’re not actually a mind reader?”

Kurt laughs. “I'm not a mind reader. It’s just an obvious question to ask. And the answer is… Yes it made it worse. But from the moment I met you, you felt like home to me. And I couldn't ignore it. Thinking you were straight admittedly did not help matters." Blaine shifts guiltily. "But I kind of wanted to tell you how I felt without you ever really knowing. Silly, I know."

“I think it's adorable. You know, I felt the same when I first met you? Not exactly that. But I definitely felt kind of like… you were someone I had been looking for forever.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

“Cheddar really is an appropriate nickname for you,” Kurt says, eyes sparkling with mischief. 

“Because I’m so cheesy?”

“Because you’re so cheesy,” Kurt agrees, swooping in for a kiss. “But I guess so am I when it comes to you.”

* * *

Kurt goes off to work the next morning looking like he's heading to battle and wearing a borrowed shirt and underwear. The shirt strains across his shoulders but Kurt seems oddly apathetic about the whole thing, despite assuring Blaine that he hasn't given up on the job. 

Blaine finds out why about four hours later when Tina absolutely blows his phone up. 

**Tina:** OMFG where are you?!?! It's gone crazy here!

**Tina:** Wait, Isabelle said you QUIT? Why wouldn't you tell me?

**Tina:** Apparently Kurt went rogue in his interview. He's been keeping a whole HR log thing of Dickheads offensive behaviour

**Tina:** And he's just presented ALL of it to the panel which included Katy from HR

**Tina:** Dick is super fucked. They've asked for witnesses and people are LITERALLY queuing up to dish on him

**Tina:** This is the best day of my life!

Blaine fumbles wildly with his phone for several seconds before he successfully calls Kurt. 

"Hi, honey." Kurt's cheerful voice answers. 

"Don't 'hi honey' me," Blaine says. 

"Not a fan of honey as an endearment?"

"What? No. Honey is fine. What the hell is going on over there."

"I may have got Dick fired. Still waiting to find out. But as there have been some pretty serious sexual harassment accusations, it looks likely."

"I don't understand," Blaine says because he literally doesn't. 

"I’ve been gathering evidence of his shitty behaviour for a while now. You should see what he says to me in emails when he thinks it’s ‘private’. So when they asked me what I thought the major current problem that faced  _ Bow Ties _ was…”

“You said Richard?”

“Basically that, yes.”

Blaine tries to process this. "But haven't you sabotaged yourself? For the promotion?"

"Nah, before I gave them all the dirt on Dick, I did a very excellent presentation on how to save the magazine and bring it into the actual present day. I'm confident. Anyway I don’t really care. He was way out of line last night. It’s about time someone put him in his place. I said I would fight for you."

“Oh, you didn't do this for me, did you?” Blaine asks. It's very romantic but he kind of hopes the answer is no otherwise he is going to feel so bad if Kurt loses his job over this. 

“A bit for you. A bit for everyone else that has to put up with him, including myself. I was planning on going public when I got the promotion because I would have more power. Or if I had to quit, on my last day. Because there would be no consequences. I probably wouldn't have chosen to do it in such dramatic fashion.”

"Don't lie. You're just as dramatic as I am," Blaine accuses. 

"OK, it  _ was _ pretty fun."

Blaine shakes his head fondly. “I can’t believe you did that. I feel like  _ I  _ should have done that. I also feel like I’m going to owe you forever now.”

“Well a sense of obligation  _ is _ all I look for in a boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?”

“Yeah,” Kurt says easily. “If you want?”

Blaine grins, squeezing the phone. “I want.” 

“Great,” Kurt says, his voice quieter and somehow more intimate sounding. "I've gotta go, though. I've hidden in the stationary cupboard to talk to you and I hear Isabelle looking for me. Bye, Cheddar."

"Bye, Macaroni," Blaine says and he hears Kurt's laugh before the line goes dead. He's not sure Macaroni is going to stick.

But he thinks Kurt might. 

* * *

_ Epilogue _

“Kurt. So good to see you,” Hugo says, gripping Kurt in a warm hug. 

“Hugo. Beautiful ceremony. You and Rachel looked gorgeous up there. You’ve met my boyfriend, Blaine.”

“Of course,” Hugo says warmly, leaning in to hug Blaine too. "Boyfriend now, huh?

"Oh yes," Blaine says seriously. "We now channel all the energy we spent bickering as colleagues into bickering as a couple."

"That's right, you work with Kurt, yeah?"

"Used to," Blaine says cheerfully. "I play in the band for the musical  _ Love Story _ now. And Kurt got promoted so we wouldn't be colleagues anymore anyway." 

" _ Love Story.  _ Is that the one they're calling the new  _ Mamma Mia _ ?" Hugo asks, interested. 

"It is!" Kurt butts in proudly. " _ And  _ he's writing songs for an EP at the same time. All the songs are about how much he loves me, obviously."

"I knew I shouldn't have told you Foolish Thing was about you. Your ego is already big enough," Blaine sighs. 

Kurt grins. "You know I'm your muse. Just accept it and write songs about how much you love the inside of my elbows or something."

"Well, I  _ am _ working on a song called Love In The Time of Stomach Flu. Sure to be a real crowd pleaser."

Kurt snorts. “Of course it is.” God, he loves this man. Bantering with him is as fun as kissing other people used to be. Kissing him is as good as sex. And don't get him started on the sex. 

"Do I get to be part of your song as the dashing doctor?" Hugo asks and Kurt starts guiltily when he realises they've inadvertently shut Hugo out of the conversation. 

Blaine recovers easily. "Of course."

"Actually, Cheddar, it's really all down to Hugo that we got together," Kurt lies happily. "He forced me into saying you would be my plus one for this wedding and the potential embarrassment of showing up without you really upped the ante on wooing you." 

The reality is he was already getting to the point of contemplating some pretty ridiculous grand gestures. Luckily Blaine got a clue before that was necessary. Kurt didn't know how to organise a flash mob. 

"Umm...I feel like I wooed  _ you,  _ actually. With cheesecake," Blaine says.

Kurt snorts again. "I just let you think that."

"Equal claims on the wooing?" Blaine offers. 

"Deal," Kurt agrees leaning in for a kiss. 

"Well, I'll just leave you two to it," Hugo says but he's grinning so Kurt can tell he's not mad.  _ Sorry _ he mouths as Hugo walks away to greet more guests. Hugo waves him off, still beaming. 

"Wow, we're  _ that _ couple," Blaine says guiltily. 

"Incapable of having a conversation with another human without showing how loved up we are," Kurt agrees. "And it's  _ his _ wedding. In my defence, I do love you a whole lot."

"I love you too," Blaine grins and Kurt pulls him close. 

"That suit looks amazing on you. But do you know where it would look even better?"

"If you say on your floor I  _ am _ going to have to break up with you."

"I was going to say on the  _ hotel room _ floor," Kurt pouts. "Because hotel sex." Blaine laughs. 

"Isn't it too early to slip away?" Blaine whispers in his ear, not helping the fact that all Kurt wants to do is get him alone and rip his clothes off. 

"I mean I haven't even said hello to Rachel yet so probably," Kurt allows with a sigh. "And I should check in on Carole.”

"Well then. If we mingle a little longer then I'll do that thing you really like later."

Kurt's brain presents several options to this offer. He doesn't know one hundred percent what Blaine is even referring too but actually finds it doesn't matter much. 

"Deal," he says, taking Blaine's hand and taking him to meet Rachel who looks stunning in her wedding dress. 

"Kurt! We have to catch up when I'm back from honeymoon. It's been ages," she says once introductions are out of the way.

"It has. But you have been planning a wedding so it's understandable."

"You've been busy too, though! I saw on the news about your magazine. That guy with all the sexual harassment suits against him. Wasn't he CEO?"

"He was," Kurt sighs. "Not great publicity. Luckily, Isabelle agreed with me that a rebrand was in order so we're  _ Flair  _ now. Hopefully we can put all the unpleasantness behind us."

" _ Flair _ was all Kurt's idea. He has full creative control now," Blaine chips in excitedly.

Rachel's attention turns to Blaine and Kurt goes quiet as they chatter animatedly, watching his boyfriend with soft affection. Maybe they'll be like this at their own wedding one day, proudly extolling each others virtues to anyone that will listen.

Maybe one day Blaine will get down on one knee and deliver a beautiful but cheesy speech about how Kurt is his soulmate and they should get married. And Kurt will say 'Yeah?' and Blaine will say 'Yeah,' all certainty and beautiful heart eyes. And Kurt will say, 'Yes' because he can't imagine saying anything else. 

Or maybe  _ he'll _ propose to Blaine and tell him that they've done so great at the Boyfriend Game that it's time to level up to the Husband Game because he knows how much Blaine loves those silly games. And Blaine will call him dumb but will laugh and kiss him dizzy.

"Hey," Blaine says softly. "Have I lost you, Mac?"

"I'm here," Kurt says, blinking back to reality. "Just thinking."

"Mac? That's an odd nickname. What's the story behind that one?" Rachel asks. 

Kurt and Blaine exchange a look. "It's a long story," Kurt says. 

"It kind of includes the story of how we got together," Blaine adds. 

"Ohh please tell me. I want to avoid Hugo's mother a bit longer," Rachel begs. "That sounded selfish. What I meant to say is, I love getting together stories."

Kurt glances at Blaine who shrugs. 

"Well," Kurt says. "It all started with the Hating Game."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow what a journey it's been. Thank you, friends for your kudos and lovely comments. Please hit me up below if you have any suggestions on what I should write next.


End file.
